Page 114 of Carry On
“I hope he finds answers,” she replied, and I believed her. “But the headaches led to drinking as a way to deal with the pain, and he just… he began to slip away before any of us could do anything.
“The system failed Mitchell in his own struggles, and as he watched Nash deteriorate, he got scared,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “We both did. He tried to handle it. He just couldn’t sit by and do nothing. That fight was… oh, it was so bad that the neighbors called the police. And you know how Chief Rockwell is.”
“Do I ever,” I scoffed. I hadn’t heard that name in forever. Chief Rockwell was more nosy and intrusive than anything else.
“It took forever to get him to leave. Peter was at the neighbor’s to keep him out of it all, and Nash just… he was done. He left. I tried to get him to stay, but he didn’t want to, and he didn’t want our help. We had no choice. We had to let him go.”
“You know about his situation here in Seattle, don’t you?”
“You mean, did I know that he was homeless? Yes, I did,” she admitted. “Five years ago, I was in town for a show with some of my girlfriends, and I saw him. At first, I thought I was imagining things, but I wasn’t. I debated saying something, but I knew he wouldn’t take it well.”
That was absolutely true.
“Mitchell and I agreed not to tell Peter,” Charlotte said. “He’s… he’s always looked up to Nash. I genuinely didn’t think that Nash would want his brother to know, and, considering the elaborate lies he’s told Peter over the years, it was the right choice.”
Was it the right choice? That much I was on the fence about. While I knew helping him was hard, I didn’t wholly believe that doing nothing was the right choice either. He deserved more.
“Can I give you a piece of advice?” she asked. I nodded because I wasn’t sure I could stop her, even if I wanted to. “PTSD is a scary thing.”
Yes, it fucking was.
“It’s dangerous and violent in ways people never realize,” she whispered. “The man who came back wasn’t the same boy who enlisted. He’s fighting a war inside his head that you’ll never be able to touch… that you won’t be able to save him from. But he loves you.”
Her words made my heart stutter, and I glanced at her. Did Nash love me? I had no doubts about our connection, but love? I wasn’t so sure about that one.
“I just hope it’s enough,” I admitted a little pathetically.
“Me too, Lincoln.” She patted my arm gently. “Me too.”
CHAPTER 76
NASH
Lunchbecameanall-afternoonevent. Peter and I played pool—rather, Peter kicked my ass at pool—while Mitchell hovered nearby. It pissed me off, and I wanted to say something, but I held my tongue. Peter didn’t know why I couldn’t stand being around our father. Mitchell tried with Peter, and I could respect that. Just because he’d been a shit father to me didn’t mean I needed to ruin Peter’s relationship with him too.
And while it was great spending time with him, I was grateful to be leaving as we left the bar. After a quick round of goodbyes, Lincoln stepped away to give us space. I immediately missed his presence. Having him there was comforting in ways I couldn’t put into words.
“It was so good to see you,” Charlotte said, moving in to hug me. She squeezed tightly as she whispered, “You take care of yourself, Nash, you hear me?”
“I will,” I replied. I gave her an awkward pat to get her to let go.
You won’t,the voice commented.
“And you take care of Lincoln too,” she told me when she did. “He’s a good one.”
“I know.” I was all too aware of how good a man Lincolnwas. “And I will.”
I’d try my best.
You’ll fail,the voice said.
“Nash.” Mitchell offered me his hand. To avoid a scene in front of Peter, I accepted but kept the shake as brief as possible. “It was good to see you.”
“Yup.”
“I’m glad you’re happy,” he continued.
“Yup,” I repeated with a nod. Except I wasn’t.
