The anger she felt toward her father for turning into such a monster at the end of his life and for what he’d forced Christopher to do had long ago faded into sorrow for so many lives ruined. Hearing about Joey’s mother added another layer of despair to the tragedy of her father.
It added another depth to her anguish at her sons’ entering club lifenowwhen she thought she had more time. Club life had led to her father’s demise. Her mother’s. Patricia’s. Snake’s—Joey. Cee Cee’s. Her second son, Patrick. Kendall’s and Johnnie’s Baby Biker. K-P’s. It had almost ruined Zoann.
What would become of her boys?
What would become ofChristopher?
Her life revolved around him.Hewas her life. She didn’t care what anyone thought about that sentimentbecause she hadn’t been put on this earth to please others. He was her everything. Her all. The sun rose and set in her husband.
“Do you still love me, Christopher?” she asked quietly.
He finally moved away from the door and rushed to the bed. He climbed in and pulled her into his arms. “What the fuck kind of question is that, Megan?”
“I’m not your sweet angel anymore.”
“I ain’t gonna lie and say I ain’t hopin’ that side of you come back.”
“We adapt and adjust or we die.”
He tipped her chin up and rested his forehead against hers. “I guess we both insecure assfucks cuz I wonder the same fuckin’ thing. Do you still love me?”
She giggled. “I guess weareinsecure. And, yes, I adore you.”
“I love you more than I love my life, baby. But you already know that. Just like you know deep down, I ain’t ever fuckin’ no other bitch.”
She nodded, and yawned. “Let’s take a quick shower together.”
He nuzzled her neck and she shivered in pleasure. “Okay, baby.”
Hopefully, by then, CJ would’ve returned home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Instead of walking to the club, CJ rode with Diesel in his Mercedes because of the downpour of freezing rain, lightning, and thunder. It was a Wednesday night, so there weren’t many members around, though during the summer, the day of the week wouldn’t matter. It would be overflowing.
For the past hour, Diesel drank from his flask and texted someone. He’d made one of the probates bring Tabitha to their condo because he was just a motherfucker like that, and basically shut CJ out. Bored, CJ dropped coins into the jukebox and danced, which he always enjoyed thanks to Mom and Lolly. As the clock struck eleven, CJ joined Diesel at their father’s table for a beer. Afterwards, he’d go home, even if he had to walk.
After Mom collapsed on Thanksgiving night, Diesel stepped up to the plate and became a part of the familyagain. The mistrust CJ had felt in the months prior to Diesel’s marriage fled, as if it never existed.
CJ no longer suspected him of having nefarious intentions. He just didn’t trust Diesel’s good judgment. No matterwhatRebel did, she was a goddamn child. Fuck, maybe, it would be more palatable if she was sixteen or seventeen. Or if Diesel was seventeen or eighteen.
None of that was the case. One asshole—Diesel—was a sex-addicted stupid motherfucker. The other asshole—Rule—was a judgmental zealot and stupid motherfucker. Whatneitherwere doing was fucking with Rebel. CJ would see them drawn and fucking quartered first.
Fuck.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Stop fucking with Rebel, Diesel,” he reiterated. He was certain Diesel was already making excuses after their confrontation at the house. Probably the reason he was ignoring CJ. “She’s underaged. You’re fucking married. Rule is putting the onus onherwhen the burden belongs toyouas the fucking adult.”
Diesel scowled. “Stay out of it,” he warned, proving CJ’s suspicions correct. “I’ve already apologized, but fuck, you can’t tell me what to do. I’myourbig brother.”
“Fuck off. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong, asshole. As my big brother, you’ve offered very good advice over the years,” he added quickly.
Diesel was quite sensitive about his place in the family. Any question about seeing him as a “real” member of the family had the potential to send him over the edge and on a drinking binge.
“I’m telling you asyour little brotherthat you need to take my advice and back the fuck away from her. Better I tell you than Dad.”
“Rebel wouldn’t have ratted me out, so how did Rule tell you?”
“Because he’s as much a motherfucking zealot as you are a reckless fuckhead. He accused her of being a whore because ofyourfucking actions.”