Page 8 of Tell Me No
“I don’t remember asking for permission, but whatever,” I say, laughing at his hypothetical. I hang up without another word, thinking about his comments. It’s no secret that I want Aurora. God, do I fucking want her. She’s like the unholy grail. I could spend forever searching for a woman like her, and never find a single one the comes close to measuring up.
But she’s young. She’s too fucking young, and she doesn’t need the mountain of baggage I bring to any relationship. Choosing to rid myself of thoughts of Aurora today, I turn up the loudest screamo I can find, and lose myself in lines of code.
six
I know showingup at Breaker’s house like this is a mistake, but apparently mistakes are my specialty lately.
I felt like death when I woke up this morning, face down in my pillows in last night’s clothes. Only the unfamiliar feeling of warm, soft leather wrapped around me shook me from my dreams. I burrowed into Breaker’s jacket, breathing in the scent of him wrapped around me. For a moment, just a single moment, I allowed myself to pretend I was waking up wrapped in his arms instead. The ache in my heart, and worse, in my core, was just too much to bare. I quickly stripped out of his jacket and threw myself into the shower, scrubbing my skin hard to wash away the feeling of too much booze and embarrassment.
Apparently, I was feeling a little too courageous last night and I owe Iris and Breaker both an apology. Mind games are not my style. I’ve all but thrown myself at Breaker and he still hasn’t returned any interest. So I’m gonna have to let him go.
Which is why I find myself parked in front of his tall iron security gates. I roll down the window to push the buzzer at the gate, but remember that I have my own security code from our time spent here months ago. Curiosity gets the best of me as I wonder whether he’s changed it to keep us all out again. I type in the numbers, already convinced I’m going to set off some silent alarm. There’s no way he would leave his property unsecured. My jaw drops when the gates swing open in front of me. I guess he hasn’t had the time to lock me out yet.
I know I should have sent him a warning that I was coming, but it’s too late now. Pulling down the long gravel driveway, I park my Bronco in front of the entryway. This house gets more beautiful every time I see it. To some it may seem gothic or dark, but to me its perfection. Two-stories of black slate stones cover every inch of the front side of the house. I remember the awe I felt the first time I saw the floor-to-ceiling glass windows that line the back side, looking out over a private lake. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better house, and of course the fucking beast lives inside it.
Walking up the front steps, I stop in front of the black security panel that keeps the fortress locked up tight. He gave us each a gate code, but no one was given access to the security panels. At least, not that I know of. My fist hovers above the door, poised to knock, when I’m struck with the most morbid curiosity I’ve ever felt. It’s truly stupid to think he could have added access to his biometric system for me. How would he even get my palm prints? But I can’t help myself. I have to try.
Tentatively, I place my palm on the panel, waiting for the harsh buzzing sound of rejection. Instead, I stumble backwards slightly when the front door clicks and swings open.
“No fucking way,” I whisper. He gave me the keys to the kingdom without saying a word. Why would he do that? I take a tentative step through the front door, hoping I’m not met with the barrel of a gun.
“Hello? Jason? It’s me. Just… invading your privacy to apologize,” I say into the empty living space. No response.
I hear Jekyll and Hyde by Five Finger Death Punch blaring from his basement office, and I smirk. So fitting for a man like him. I set my keys and phone on the bar, gripping the smooth leather of his jacket in my fist, and head towards the open door leading down into the basement. This is a dangerous move, I know it. Breaker is an incredibly private man. I’ve never even seen the inner sanctum of his basement. I know that’s where he keeps his dozen or so computers and apparently a killer sound system, but I know nothing past that. Still, something pushes me forward into the depths of his private space. It’s like I’m descending the steps into hell, willingly greeting the devil. I follow the sound of his music, down the stairs, across the small living room, stopping short of a heavy door propped open towards the back of the basement. I knock softly, knowing I can’t be heard over the bass of his music. The idea of sneaking up on him, of seeing him completely at ease and in his element, thrills me. I push the door open just wide enough to squeeze inside the room, and I see him.
The entirety of the wall in front of him is covered in monitors, each one scrolling through data in several different languages. He sits with his back to me, hunched over a smaller laptop. He must feel completely relaxed here, just bobbing his head along with the beat of the music. For the first time in the past year that I’ve known him, I can take a moment to study his bare back and shoulders. Black sweats are hung low on his hips and his chest and feet are bare. This is the most comfortable I’ve ever seen him, and I have to close my mouth to keep from drooling at the sight.
He is absolutely covered in ink, but nothing like I would have imagined. I’ve seen the vines and viking symbols that cover his arms plenty of times. But they’re nothing compared to the sight of the delicate arrangement of wildflowers stretching across his back. I absentmindedly touch my own arm, knowing my designs are remarkably similar. Only in the center of his arrangement is a skull, so darkly magnificent I want to reach out and touch it. I didn’t realize I’ve been inching towards him this entire time, now less than a foot away.
“Hey, Jas-” I barely squeak out before he whips around, grabbing me by the back of the neck and pushing me facedown onto the desk in front of him. I squeal, knowing I shouldn’t have surprised him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just me!” I say, hoping he hears what I’m saying before he strangles me.
The moment my voice breaks through the fog in his mind, I feel him release me. “Fuck, Aurora! What are you doing here?!” He shouts.
I’m not scared of him. I never have been. Yet, I feel tears stinging my eyes as the adrenaline courses through my veins. “I’m so sorry! I knocked, but you didn’t hear me over the music and I was just trying to find you to apologize for last night and give this back.” The words tumble out of my mouth as I try to calm my racing heart.
“I could have fucking killed you! That was so stupid!” He shouts back at me. I know he isn’t trying to hurt my feelings, and he’s right. It was stupid. The tears that were only a threat finally spill over my lashes, and I wipe them away angrily.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. You just… surprised me. Thats all.”
“No, you’re right. I’m sorry. Calling first would have been the better choice. I wasn’t sure if you were coming to Eli and Ember’s tonight and I wanted to apologize for last night. And give you this back.” I stretch my arm out to him, his jacket still gripped tightly in my fist. He looks down at it like it’s foreign to him. Finally meeting my eyes, I see something there that confuses me. It almost looks like… hope? But surely I’m mistaken.
“No,” he says, his voice suddenly darker. He’s looking at me with an inferno barely banked in his eyes. It’s like the moment before a volcano erupts. The air is scorching and thick, a feeling of impending disaster circling around me, but I can’t look away.
“No?” I ask, his eyes flicking to my throat as a swallow the lump growing there.
“No. Tell me why you’re really here, princess,” he commands. And it is a command, nothing less would be adequate.
“I just-” I start, but he cuts me off.
“The truth, Aurora,” he barks. Goosebumps rise on my arms and legs. This man affects me in a way no one ever has. The light gleams off of the bars slicing through each of his nipples and I bite my bottom lip, imagining how delicious his skin would taste.
“Eyes up here. Why are you here?” He says, throwing the same question at my feet that I asked him at Bombshells. I dig down deep, finding my lady balls and straightening my spine. I’m not fragile, and he needs to know that. My eyes collide with his, the green in his iris’s burning a hole through any defenses I have left.
“You, Jason. I came here for you.” I say, my voice never wavering as I stare back at him.
“Motherfucker,” he mumbles. I see the exact moment his resolve shatters. His hand flies out, gripping the back of my neck and dragging my body flush against his. I don’t even have time to gasp before his lips are crushed against mine. I knew they would feel like absolute heaven. Sweet, punishing, bruising, euphoric heaven. Wetness floods my core and he’s barely touched me. I slide my nails up his chest, drawing a groan from deep in his throat that only serves to spur me on. His tongue demands entrance into my mouth, never asking permission, just taking what he already knows belongs to him.
