Page 28 of Bring Me Back
“That won’t be necessary, thank you. I will handle this accordingly. Any way you could push through a quick flight plan to Georgia with the FAA in the next hour?” I tell him, knowing where I want to take her that could be safe. Is anywhere truly safe?
“Very well, consider it done. I will give Mateo the rest of the weekend off. Let me know when you plan to return and I will send him back.” Sebastian hangs up without another word.
“What was that about?” Jaxon asks, his voice startling me. I never even heard the door open.
“That? Oh, nothing. Just business.” I deflect, but he’s smarter than any of us give him credit for.
“Your having my mom followed?” He asks, more curious than angry.
“I just want to protect her, Jaxon. I can’t be everywhere at all times.” I tell him, leaning against the bar and crossing my arms.
He nods, understanding flashing in his eyes. Most people fight against what they know is right and whatsociety thinks they should do. I think I was born without that gene, but I recognize the struggle for other people.
“I want her protected, Beckett. I really do. But I watched my dad take advantage of her for years. He lied to her, he abused her, he never gave her a choice or a say in any part of our lives. I know you would never lift a hand to her, but don’t you feel like she deserves to have a say now?” His words feel like acid against my skin. I know he’s right, I should’ve just told her from the beginning that I was having her followed. But I feared I would face some argument I didn’t have the patience or the time for, when all I want is to keep her safe.
“I understand the conflict you must feel, but it’s not negotiable. Her safety is all that matters, Jaxon.” The need to defend myself rears its ugly head as the emotions boil inside me. “I want to tell her. I don’t want to start our relationship off with any lies or half-truths. But we have to get out of here for a few days. I was thinking about taking your mom somewhere special. I’d like it if you came with us.”
“I’m not so sure I should go. I feel like Mom would probably be suspicious with everything that’s already been going on. If you randomly suggested we all leave town, that doesn’t scream vacation to me. But I’ll be fine staying with Breaker until you guys get back.” He says, and disappointment settles in my gut. I understand where he’s coming from, but I don’t ever want to makehim feel excluded. He stares back at me, a heaviness in his eyes that wasn’t there moments ago.
“You say you want her strong and safe, that you love the parts of her no one else has ever appreciated, right? This doesn’t feel like that. This feels like you see her as the same weak woman my dad always did, easily manipulated into whatever position you want her in. Even with the best intentions, it’s still a lie. And I won’t lie for you, not to her. Consider this though. She’s spent years looking over her shoulder, you’re a dumbass if you think she doesn’t know you’re having her tailed.” He walks back outside without another word.
Guilt creeps in. I don’twantto keep anything at all from Willow. But will she see me as the same controlling, manipulative person she escaped from years ago? Logically, I know she wouldn’t. But logic isn’t exactly functioning in my mind right now.
eighteen
Coming hometo see my boys cooking dinner together is a dream I hope I never wake up from. Standing in the doorway silently, I watch my son smiling over at Beckett. They’re talking easily back and forth about Jaxon’s graduation, which is less than a month away now. The idea that my baby boy is nearly an adult hits me in waves a few times a week. I’m so incredibly proud of him, and I hope he feels the same way about me. I’ve done everything I can to give him the best chance at a future I possibly could, something far from what he would’ve endured if I had stayed.
“Mom, you’re being creepy, and this beautiful dinner I made is getting cold with you just standing there.” Jaxon says, and I snort out a laugh.
“You made dinner? I think I’ll order takeout then.” I smirk, and he rolls his eyes.
“Well, Beckett helped. A little.” He corrects and Beck grins widely.
This all feels so very domestic. Anxiety creeps in on me the way it always does when things feel too easy. Like I’m waiting for the downfall of everything good. Because that’s what I deserve, the pain and difficulty and imperfection. I stop my mind before the spiral takes over, taking a deep breath and bringing myself back to this place.That’s a lie. That isn’t what I deserve. That isn’t real, it’s just a thought moving through me. And it will leave the same way it came. I deserve to live a life I don’t feel the need to run from, one that calms my nervous system instead of igniting it.
Beck stands next to me when I open my eyes, always ready to ease my fears. But this time, I didn’t need him to. And the smile on his face shows the pride he feels knowing I calmed myself. Jaxon stands next to the table with two plates in his hands, waiting for the fallout that never comes. This is the version of his mother that he deserves. And I will do everything I can to give that to him.
“Let’s eat!” I say, sitting down across from Jax as he sets a plate in front of me with a smile.
Dinner conversation moves easily around us, as if we’ve always been a family. For a moment, only just a moment, I let myself believe life could be like this forever. We could really be this family. And who says we can’t?
When we’re done, Jax takes his sketchbook outside and drops into a lounge chair where he can see the sun setting behind the estate. I have to admit, it’s beautiful out here. If I had a choice, I’d never leave.
“I have a proposition for you, Will,” Beckett says, drawing my attention from my son.
“Oh? A sexy one?” I smirk, raising an eyebrow at him. He gives me a salacious grin but shakes his head.
“Not this time, pretty girl. Well... not right this minute at least. I think we should take a long weekend and get out of town. I know the sky is metaphorically falling around us, but I think you deserve a break. And there’s something I’d like to show you, if you’ll let me.” He suggests, and I think it over. The last thing I should be doing right now is taking a mini vacation, but he’s piqued my interest with the idea that he wants to show me something.
“Where would we go?” I ask, and he just smiles.
“I think I want that to be a surprise too. But we’d need to leave tonight. Like… in the next hour.” He says, and my stomach drops.
“An hour?! I don’t even know what to pack! I didn’t even agree to this, and you already have a plan?” My voice is shrill and panicked. “What about Jaxon? Is he ready to go already?”
“I offered. He said he’d rather stay behind. But he already talked to Breaker, and they’re expecting him there before we take off.” Beck replies. I’m not sure how Ifeel about him making plans for us, but a part of me finds it desperately romantic.
“I hate to leave him…” my eyes find my boy, but he’s just smiling back at me through the back window. He makes a motion shooing me away, and it’s obvious he’s in on this little plan.
