Page 16 of Yours To Keep
“I’ll take care of it, Jack. I can promise you that,” I tell him.
“I have no doubt about that. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process. My life would never have been worth all the bullshit I’ve seen if it hadn’t been for my Margaret.” He gives me a knowing look, his gaze drifting back and forth between Magnolia and I.
I could imagine what my life would be like if this thing between her and I was real. Running my own business and coming home to Magnolia every night sounds like an incredible dream. But that’s all it is, just a dream.
“Come by tomorrow and I’ll have the paperwork drawn up, son. That should give you a few days to get things in order with the staff before you open Friday night. I’m sorry I’m not giving you a lot of notice here, but I know you’re ready, and more than capable of making this work. I’m proud of you, Dalton. A good woman can change a man’s life, make you grow roots when you always thought you weren’t meant to stay. You caught a good one here. Don’t fuck it up,” he says, standing and wrapping me in a hug. I’m not sure what to say. I hate to perpetuate a lie, but I don’t want to disappoint him, either. So instead of saying anything else, I just nod.
“Well, we’ll get out of your hair. Thank you so much for dinner, and for this amazing opportunity. I won’t let you down, Jack, I promise,” I tell him with so much excitement, I don’t know how I’m holding it back.
The front door is barely closed before Magnolia squeals loudly, throwing her arms around my neck and jumping into my arms. I catch her without a second thought, my hands immediately finding their way to her ass as she wraps her legs around me. It’s like being in my arms is where she’s always belonged. I breathe her in, the scent of sweet florals and seawater punching me in the gut. Fuckkk, she smells good. Almost instinctively, I hold her tighter, my fingertips digging in to the firm flesh of her perfect ass. She burrows her face into my neck, her shallow breaths skating across the skin there.
I want her. More than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone before. But I also feel a need for her I’ve never felt before. I feel stronger with her than I ever have. Like I could demolish armies, or slay dragons, as long as I have her at the end of the day. The idea that this relationship isn’t real is slowly dissolving in my mind, becoming something that feels like so much more.
“I’m so proud of you,” she whispers, and I’m a fucking goner.
I don’t want a fake girlfriend. I want this woman all day, every single day. I want her to belong to me, because fuck if I don’t already belong to her. Pulling back, our lips barely an inch apart, I see the fear written all over her face. The heat between us the first time I kissed her could not be ignored. She felt it too, just like she feels it right now.
“Tell me I can kiss you, Magnolia. Please,” I beg her shamelessly, letting my forehead rest against hers. She shifts, and I feel her body tense uncomfortably. Twisting in my arms, she drops her feet to the floor. She tries to step out of my grasp, but I’m reluctant to let her go.
“It’s a bad idea, Dalton. We both know that we shouldn’t,” she says, giving me a fake half smile.
Usually I don’t care when people use my nickname. I earned it over years of stupid decisions. But when she calls me by my name, the name God and my mother gave me the moment I came into this world, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. Like I’ve been asleep for years and my eyes are finally open. I never want to hear her call me Iris again.
“Don’t. Dont give me your fake smile, and don’t give me some bullshit about how we both know it’s a bad idea. I don’t know that. I think kissing you right now is the best idea I’ve everhad. If you’re scared, then just say that, Magnolia,” I tell her, finally letting her step back. She crosses her arms over her chest, shutting me out.
“I know we didn’t exactly define what we were doing here. And I’m so grateful for your help with my parents, but I’m not a one-night kind of girl. I don’t judge you at all for being that way, but it’s not me,” she says, her words like a fucking knife to my heart. It’s all I can do to nod back at her, putting a little more distance between us. “I’m sorry, Dalton.”
My name on her perfect pink lips is like salt in the wound, burning in my chest. Walking down the porch steps and stopping beside my bike, I hold out the helmet for her. There’s nothing I can say to change her mind, nothing I can tell her to make her believe I’m good enough to stand by her side. If I didn’t think I was beneath her before, I surely do now. But I can’t imagine not having her in my life now that I know what it’s like. If her friendship is all I can possess, then I’ll take it.
This time I take the quickest way home possible. As much as I loved the feeling of her arms around me, I can’t torture myself any more tonight. Pulling up beside the curb at her apartment building, I hold out my hand to help her off. She hands me the helmet, a conflicted look on her face.
“Please, don’t be upset with me,” she says, and I scoff out a laugh. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.
“I’m not upset, Magnolia. I don’t agree with you, but I’m not upset. It feels like I can see all the angles of you. The scared, insecure little girl who still searches for her parent’s approval. The brave, beautiful woman who still can’t see how incredible she truly is. And I…I want them all, Magnolia. Every side of you. But you’ve chosen to only see one side of me. Understandably, I guess. But I can’t pretend to be happy about it. That’s not who I am, angel. I can’t fake it with you or anyone else.” If she doesn’t want to try, I can’t make her.
“I’d never want you to-” the sound of her phone ringing cuts off whatever excuse she was going to give me. She huffs out an annoyed breath, checking the screen before swiping to answer it. “My dad, just hold on a sec.”
There’s nothing I want more than to escape this incredibly uncomfortable conversation, but I’d wait forever just because she asked me to.
“Hey dad, what’s up? It’s late,” I hear her dad’s muffled voice come through the line, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. “Um, yeah. Yeah, I’m still gonna be there. Dalton? Oh, well, I don’t know, dad. It’s kinda short notice, he might have plans or-” I grab the phone from her hand, hearing the end of her dad saying something about the Fourth of July.
“Hey, Mr. Monroe. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t have plans,” I tell him, and she rolls her eyes.
“Oh, hi Dalton. I was just talking to Mags about our annual Fourth of July celebration. We’re planning to do it at our beach house this year and I hope you both can make it. I know it’s still a few weeks out, but we would love to have you both there,” he says, his tone hopeful. I know we didn’t exactly part of the best terms last week, but he’s always gonna be Magnolia’s dad.
“Yeah, of course. We will be there, sir,” I tell him, and we agree to iron out the details later. He hangs up, Magnolia staring back at me with wide eyes.
“That’s the kind of man I am, Magnolia. Hopefully, one day, you can see that.” I kiss her cheek softly, strapping the helmet on the back of my Ducati and heading out into the night.
seven
It’s beenthree days since dinner with Iris’s boss. I’ve dreamed about telling him yes when he asked if he could kiss me every night since then. In my dreams, he kisses me with the same passion and need he had the first time his lips met mine. I can tell myself that kiss was all for show, but I know that’s a lie. If that kiss was only to shut my mother up, he wouldn’t have asked me if he could do it again. Especially when no one was around the second time. The idea that a man like him actually wants me is something I just can’t make myself understand.
After three days of near silence, I’m dying to talk to him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still been sending me a morning reminder that I’m worthy and beautiful every day, which is almost worse than radio silence. What happens if I let myself believe in the man he’s shown me he is on the inside? What if I let him in, give him every part of me I want to give, and then he changes his mind? I don’t know if I could handle devastation like that. I’m too accustomed to leaving my feelings out of every situation, too afraid of anyone hurting them. Now I’m dancing with a disaster waiting to happen. I’m torn between wanting himso badly it hurts, and the fear that I could fall for him so easily and end up shattered beyond repair.
For today, I choose to ignore my emotions. Waiting in a cafe in Charleston, I check my phone for the fifth time in the last thirty minutes. My oldest sister, Rose, is an hour late for our lunch date. We try to get together at least once a month, just to catch up and decompress from the bullshit of our lives. She tells me how much she loves her kids, but wishes she could run away sometimes. I tell her how embarrassed I am to still be a virgin at twenty-three. Is that something I should be ashamed of? Of course not. But I just didn’t see my life going this way.
My phone beeps with a message from Rose, telling me she’s still thirty minutes away. That means she hasn’t left her house yet. I wonder for a moment if I have enough time to down a second latte before she gets here.
