Page 147 of Maddox
Shuddering, I step into his embrace carefully and whisper, “Me, too.”
Of course, tears fill my eyes, and I sniff them back when he rocks me gently and says, “Sh. It’s okay, sweet girl.”
Is it though? Because there’s still so much that I don’t know.
With a sigh, I step back when Mom says from the door, “Okay, enough of that.”
Chuckling, Peter pulls away and pushes me gently toward the breakfast bar. “Sit. I made pancakes.”
Peter’s pancakes are the bomb and I’m so hungry that I scarf them down without bothering to spread syrup over top while they watch with matching bemused expressions.
After, they circle around, eating and sipping coffee. It’s blissfully normal and wonderful until Mom sets her nearly empty cup down and says, “Okay, we need to talk.”
Glancing down at my plate, I wish that we could just move on, but I know that’s impossible with so many unanswered questions between us.
Even if I wanted to escape the truth, it’s barreling down on me anyway.
Beside me, Peter pushes back from the table and says, “I’ve got a few errands to run.”
He drops a kiss on my forehead before touching Mom’s hair, but I see something behind her eyes that scares me, especially when she bows her head.
We’re silent while Peter grabs his keys and exits through the garage.
When she looks up, her smile falters and my heart jumps into my throat as I say, “Mom? What’s really going on?”
With a sigh, she turns and rests her chin on her hand, saying, “It’s complicated.”
What isn’t, I think but wisely don’t say, muttering instead, “Just start at the beginning.”
Her brilliant red hair spills over shoulder when she eyes me sideways before she clears her throat and says, “I was wild back then. When I look back on it now, I think it’s because I was lost.”
I sense her stare but can’t look at her when she continues. “I was broken. Confused. I loved Jason so much, but he didn’t love me back, at least not enough to leave the life I hated. Then he moved on.”
She chuckles and I shudder at the bitter sound as she says, “He married someone else. He choseher.”
I’m assuming this is Maddox’s mother. Although I can only imagine her pain, Mom chose to leave him and as far as I know, Joker didn’t leave the life for his new wife.
His wife also ended up dead because of it.
Shudder.
“Anyway, when I left him,” she says. “I had no choice but to go home.”
When she folds her arms around her middle, I touch her arm and say, “Mom?”
Her body trembles beneath my touch and I search her face for signs of drug use but all I see is a void behind her eyes. Whatever she’s remembering, it’s painful.
What will this do for her sobriety?Isshe sober?
I don’t know but all the lies that came before brought us here and maybe, just maybe once she’s free of them, she can get better.
Am I being naive?
“It-It’s okay,” she manages to say, covering my hand and after exhaling slowly, she continues. “It was stupid, I was stupidbecause I was stuck. And the longer I was there the worse it became until I didn’t recognize myself.”
“I don’t understand,” I say, avoiding her eyes. There’s something lingering in the depths that scares me, but I can’t stop now.
The only way forward is to understand.
