Page 8 of Maddox
The weather is perfect and now, with a live band we commissioned to rock the proverbial walls out here, everyone’s itching to get down.
Wolf, the Shadow Saints VP, was a complete dumb ass for a while, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist Lilli and now they’ve tied the knot with Wolf also making her his ol’ lady.
I just wish I could concentrate on anything but the unease crawling across my skin like a fucking cancer.
Chapter 2
Delaney
It seems impossible that I share DNA with the drunk slob currently hogging the bathroom when he knows that I have to leave in thirty minutes.
However, that’s what my mother says and who am I to challenge the facts?
I can just hear my grief counselor now…focus on what youcanchange, Delaney.
Easier said than done and much of what she said turned out to be useless because despite her best efforts, I simply couldn’t accept the bullshit she tried so hard to get me to swallow.
What the kind, older woman with fuzzy eyebrows did teach me though, was how to battle the surges of anxiety that I couldn’texplain but pressed at my chest at the most inconvenient of times.
I can’t say it’s anxiety I’m feeling right now but if counting back from fifteen will temper the annoyance creating an ache in the base of my skull, I’m not above using it.
Although it’s only been six months since I left my home, it feels like an eternity and on days like today, I’m reminded of what I lost.
It’s not just access to more than one bathroom. I’m not a complete asshole but after seventeen years of having certain freedoms, it’s that much harder to accept the current circumstances.
While part of me longs to set everything aside and just go home. I know it’s not that easy.
I tried…I did, and days passed while I shoved that shit to the farthest reaches of my brain and moved on, but it lingered like a wound that just wouldn’t heal.
However, the dam holding those emotions broke the day I came home and found my stepdad holding my mom while she wailed and thrashed in his arms. I’ll never forget the raspy desperation in her voice as she begged to die while Peter pinned his condemning gaze on me before bowing his head.
All of this led me back here, to Joey…my dad.
Unfortunately, he’s not used to sharing his space and I’m not used to a drunk slob who doesn’t fucking care about anything but his next drink and what’s playing on the television.
I suppose I should be grateful that he can feed and clean himself but every day that I wake up to his drunken antics, I’m forced to accept how far and fast my situation has changed.
With a groan, I tap on the bathroom dooragainas my phone buzzes against my hip.
Of course, the asshole doesn’t bother to respond.
I turned eighteen two weeks ago. I’m legally free to do whatever I want but I’m still holding out the hope that I can graduate, and it’s taking me longer to save money.
It wouldn’t be so bad if Joey could remember to pay a fucking bill occasionally, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.
He’s no more thrilled about me being here than I am but I don’t know what to do, so I’m existing and it fucking sucks.
Beyond that, after skipping the game last night, I now have to face the music. I woke to a slew of messages from the cheer team, all of which demanded to know where the hell I was last night.
It shouldn’t matter but my friends are the last vestige of normal that I’m clinging to.
However, I know explaining my need to tutor the devil for money will only lead to why and I don’t have a sufficient answer.
While they’re partying and hoping to skate through senior year in anticipation of graduating, I’m working my ass off to make sure the bills get paid.
To say our lives are now worlds apart would be an understatement. I should have quit Cheer before the year started but I wanted so badly to have one normal thing in my life amongst the chaos.
Besides, once I let that go, it will be a slippery slope to losing my friends. And what am I going to do? Invite them home to meet Daddy sitting in the yard in his freaking boxers?
