Page 12 of Maddox
Still, with a pulse of guilt, I touch his hair because I know that I’ve been an asshole too. However, when he grabs my ass, I step back as he rasps, “C’mere.”
Biting my tongue, I mutter, “Micah, not here.”
Not ever, I think but wisely don’t say. I know that I’m a cold ass bitch for stringing him along, but I hoped that eventually I would be ready.
Now I know it's never going to happen. Maybe it’s the knowledge that everything has changed but more likely, it’s because my skin crawls every time he touches me.
I know its residual guilt and per my counselor something that will ease with time, but I don’t think how I feel about Micah will change.
Whatever was between us died the same day that my brother did. I don’t feel anything for him anymore.
Besides, he’s still the silly jock who thinks the world revolves around who’s having the best party, and where and how much alcohol they have.
I’m trying to survive. We’re not the same people.I’mnot the same person.
When his brows furrow, I look away. Here it comes. It’s the same fucking story every damn time, only now it’s starting to feel like a damn tragedy.
“Why? It’s been two years, Delaney,” he says, shaking his head. “You gonna hold out forever?”
The fact that he can even say this to me after he knows what happened sends me back another step and I say, “I don’t know but I’m not doing ithere.”
Snorting, he grabs my arm. “You won’t do it here. You won’t do it at your house or mine. Wherewillyou do it, Delaney?”
“Can we not do this now?”
“Then when?” he growls, his blue eyes narrowing. “What’s going on? You fucking some other dick?”
“Here we go,” I hiss, jerking away. “Just because I’m not ready, I must be fucking someone else.”
“Yeah. If you’re not giving it up for me, then who?” he roars.
Strangely, Maddox’s bold, dark gaze rises in my mind, but I push the thought away and turn to the door. I’m so done with him and this conversation.
“Where are you going?” he barks, and I pause with my hand on the knob.
Staring at the wood, I grit through my teeth, “This is the last time I’m saying this. Get it through your thick fucking skull. I’m not fucking anyone, includingyou.”
My chest burns with the words I want to scream but what good will it do? He never listens anyway.
Thankfully, he doesn’t follow when I stalk away but at the threshold to the kitchen, I pause. I need a minute to regroup. If I go in all hot, the girls will force me to admit what just happened and I’m not in the mood.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?
“I heard she was supposed to be watching him.” At the sound of Becky’s voice, I tilt my head toward the door.
“Delaney? Noooo…do you think she was high?” Lana whispers. “My dad said that he was in that pool for hours.”
Shuddering, I close my eyes but all I see is his head bobbing face down in the water.Washe in there for hours?
I don’t know because no one gave me the details, but he was so tiny and cold in my arms…
“Nope,” Becky says, her voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. “Micah said they were fooling around in her room. Can you imagine? I don’t know how she lives with herself.”
Wow…just wow.
Stepping into the kitchen, I meet Lana’s wide-eyed gaze before she drops her head. Becky is immune to my hard stare though and merely smirks while a shadow forms over my shoulder.
“For the record,” I rasp, meeting Micah’s solemn stare. “I was not high when my brother died and fuck you Micah for talking about that day behind my back.”
