Page 143 of Maddox
“In their teens, it got worse. Their harmless pranks became violent, and Bobby got mean and angry. Joey, well, he just went along for the ride. I think for him, he couldn’t bear to go against his twin.”
She stares into the distance, lost to her thoughts before she shrugs. “Mom couldn’t handle them anymore, so she sent them away and my stepdad followed. A few years after that, I ran away and straight into hell.”
So, Joeyismy mom’s stepbrother, something she never mentioned before. What does it mean now, and is he, my father?
When I don’t know what to say, she squeezes my hand, and says, “I got married when I was nineteen, to my first love—Jason. He was tall and handsome and wonderful. I didn’t understand it then, but as an MC brother, the little details I refused to see became more and more obvious. He was still the kind loving man I knew to me, but to others, he morphed into someone I didn’t recognize.
“That same year, Bobby got into trouble. He killed a man in a bar over something stupid. He got ten years in prison for his sins. While he was inside, Joey moved forward and things calmed down, you know? Except, the longer Jason spent with his brothers, the more he changed.”
Clearing her throat, she touches her chest, and I wonder if speaking about this brings back painful memories as she says, “When Bobby got paroled, things changed again. Their father, he was not a good man and when he went missing, Bobby scooped up Joey and they disappeared for six months. I was busy living my life and when they reappeared, to my horror, they were patched in, members of a new MC…one that happened to be rivals of my husband’s.
“I didn’t know what to do and things got progressively worse until I realized that I didn't want this life, not from either side. I left Jason, telling him that I couldn’t do it anymore and being the gentleman that still lived deep down somewhere inside him, he understood and let me go.”
Meeting her gaze, I raise a brow and whisper, “Joker?”
She slowly nods, her mouth curving into a small smile before she sighs and says, “Fast forward to a few years later, I fell into some bad stuff and ended up pregnant. I knew when you came along that I had to be better, so I left behind that life and then I met Peter. He was the safe space I didn’t know that I needed but back then, I was still a girl running from her family.”
Biting her lip, she bows her head, and I stare at her trembling shoulders. Pity rises within me for the girl who not only lost her first love but her family.
“And my dad?” I ask.
Her shoulders curl inward and she stares at her hands clenched in her lap as she says, “I don’t know.”
Uh…what?
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“I was young, so young and I made bad decisions,” she says, and I eye her trembling shoulders.
She’s lost more weight. If it continues this way, eventually, she might just break apart and fly away.
Clearing her throat, she says, “I’m not proud of my past but I love you, so much.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I bat them away as Peter appears over her shoulder and says, “It’s late. Come, you both need to sleep.”
Mom sighs and eyes me quietly before she says, “C’mon, you’re tired. This story will be the same tomorrow.”
I am exhausted both emotionally and physically and although I need answers, I’m not sure my mom is prepared to give them.
It’s a small mercy but waiting a few hours isn’t going to change anything.
Once I’m back in my room, I eye her tired blue eyes before asking, “Mom? Why does Ice want Joey so bad? Why was he here?”
When she wraps her arms around her middle, I step away as though her unease is contagious, until she finally says, “Bobby, um, Ice is…not well. He’s always wanted what he couldn’t have.”
“What did he want?” I whisper.
Nodding to the bed, she says, “Me.”
Why? What does it all mean?
Mom pushes me gently toward the mattress before pulling back the covers.
After I remove my shoes and the sleeveless hoodie I stole from Maddox, his scent washes over me and I fight back the press of tears.
When Mom flicks off the light and goes to shut the door, I whisper, “And Joker? Did you love him?”
Cocking her head, her lips lift into a small smile, and she says, “Love like that never really goes away.”
