Page 124 of Finding Denver
… What am I doing?
Why am I just standing here?
“Fuck.” I put my glass on the coffee table and go for the door. I tear it open to heavily falling snow, the fat flakes coating the cars, bitterly cold air pulling into my lungs as I break into a run.
I can’t believe I was just going to let it go. I can’t believe I was going to let Denver walk away without even trying.
My muscles burn as I push myself harder, my shoes slamming into the sidewalk as I run faster, and it’s only minutes before I reach Finn’s house. I run up the steps, my hand hovering by the door when it’s snatched open.
I heave in pained breaths as Denver stands before me,her cheeks pink, her coat and scarf already on. She blinks up at me, and I stare down at her.
She’s beautiful. Uncertain. As surprised to see me as I am her.
I don’t know what to say, so I say the only thing I can think of.
“I want to pretend,” I say, and her lips part, but she doesn’t speak. “That I’m not me, and you’re not you. That you’re not married, and I’m not hopelessly in love with you.” Her eyes search mine. “If I were just Colt, and you were just Denver DeLuca, would you choose me?”
“Yes,” she says quickly, her eyes shining.
“Would you love me?”
“Yes.”
I step closer, my chest rising and falling. “Then fuck everything else. Forget it all. I love you. And I don’t care if you stay, or if we both leave, but I’m not letting you walk out of my life.” Her lip trembles, and I cup her face. “You’re what my happiness looks like.”
A tear falls down her cheek. “You’re what my happiness looks like, too.”
I kiss her. I kiss her because she’s worth it, she’s always been worth it, and we’ll figure this out no matter what it takes. I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her, her lips moving slowly against mine, the kiss that will lead us into forever.
“Yay!” Helena cheers from the bottom of the stairs.
Denver pulls back from the kiss and grins. “We have an audience.”
I back out of the house and lean forward to grasp the door handle. “I’m just gonna close this.” Helena gives me an excited thumbs up, and as the door closes, Denver kisses me again.
“You beat me to it,” Denver says, wrapping her legs around my waist. “I was just on my way to you.”
I grin as I take the steps back down. “You were?”
She nods. “You ruined my grand gesture. Where are we going?”
My smile is impossibly wide as I say the word. “Home.”
Chapter 34
Denver
I’m still in Colt’s arms when we get to the brownstone. His home. One I’ll be spending more time at now I’m staying.
It wasn’t an easy decision. I ran over so many scenarios in my mind—of leaving, going to Australia, being with Axel. I’d be able to witness him living the life he’s always wanted.
I’d be starting from scratch in a new place with endless possibilities. My café by the beach. A legitimate business, with coffee art and baked goods and deliveries that aren’t guns or drugs. No looking over my shoulder. I could be me again. It’s a life I want so badly, but it felt empty.
Because it wouldn’t be with Colt.
My dream of escaping was possible, but not enough. Because I’d always want him by my side. I’d always regret walking away.
It’ll be hard. We’ll have setbacks. Ranger won’t accept this, and the times I cross paths with Wilder won’t be easy. But for Holly, I can do it. For Colt, I will do it.
