Page 56 of Finding Denver
I also wonder a lot about what your partner will be like. I know the marriage you saw between your mom and me wasn’t always great, and I regret every day that I didn’t set a better example of who a partner should be. But maybe I can now.
They should offer you more than you need, but never more than you want. They should make you want to be better, with zero expectation of it. They should love you, without question, every single day. He should make you smile, laugh, and make you realize that all the time in the world isn’t enough for how much you want to spend with him. He should make you happy, Deedee.
When I think of you at thirty, I think of you laughing. You have a great laugh, baby. It sounds just like your mom’s. I hope you laugh a lot.
I also think of you walking the same streets your mom and I did. We fell in love in that city, and I hope you do, too. We missed it when we left. I’ll never regret taking your mother with me, but I regret that she couldn’t be in the place she loved most.
I hope you’re smiling, Deedee. I hope you’re happy, and thriving, and where you want to be, but if you’re not, that’s okay. You’re still so young, and you have a lifetime to do whatever it is you want to do with whoever you want to do it with.
And last of all, I hope you took my advice about Ranger, and I hope he took my advice about you.
I love you.
Dad.
The letter is tremblingin my hands, teardrops landing on long-dried ink.
“Advice about Ranger,” I say, my voice low. “What advice?” Helena looks confused, and I hand her the piece of paper.
There were no letters left for me in my father’s will. Assets went to Ranger, and so did I. He must have taken all of it before I could get a chance to read it. What did it say? How many other letters were there that Ranger kept?
And why did this one arrive, but the others didn’t?
Helena finishes reading, tears in her eyes. “The only letter we got from your dad didn’t mention Ranger. Not once.”
But maybe there were others I should have received.
I take my phone out, my breath heavy as I dial Ranger’s number and put the phone to my ear. He answers quickly.
“My little bird,” he says softly. “Are you coming home?”
“Where are my letters?”
He sighs. “What letters, my love?”
“From my dad, you patronizing fuck,” I bite out, and stand. “I know he wrote some to me. And to the McEwans, too. Where are they?”
The quiet that follows the McEwans’ name is a chill Ifeel from thousands of miles away. “Denver, have you been spending more time with Finn McEwan? Because if I recall, I specifically told you not to.”
“And I wonder why?” I ask, pacing in front of the TV. Helena watches me, her brows pinched together, lips pressed tight. “Where are myletters?”
“Burned, with the rest of the shit he left behind,” Ranger hits back. “Shit that didn’t matter, because he wanted to keep you from me, and he was wrong, wasn’t he? Because no matter what he said, you fell in love with me.”
My cheeks are painfully hot. “You read them?”
“Yes, I read them, as is my right. You were living in my house.”
“Tell me what he said, Ranger.”
“Why? So you can listen to the words of a dead man? So you can regret marrying me when we both know I’m the only person who can ever make you happy? It’s pointless, Denver. You cannot change the past, and you’re not leaving me.”
I grip the mantle to steady my whirling head.
“Those were his last words to me, and you stole them. You stole them, and you stole me.”
“I took what I was owed.”
The words sting, nettle at my skin and make me recoil. I cover my eyes, darkening the room around me, as if to block out the choices that led me here.
