Page 58 of Finding Denver
After JJ is on his way to the airport, I go to the walk-in closet Denver and I share. Her clothes are hung neatly, dresses, skirts, shirts all waiting to be worn again. Her shoes are lined up beneath and some are on spotlit shelves, alongside handbags. I go to her jewelry box.
I open it to glance at the endless necklaces, rings, and earrings I’ve bought her over the years. Diamonds. Gold. Platinum. Everything I thought she wanted but only wears once, or snubs in favor of the ring her mother gave her.
Is this where I went wrong? Putting price above family? Denver is materialistic, my credit card statement proves that, and she’s leaned into that more than ever in the last year. Dressing herself up. Acting. Pretending.
Does she pretend to love me, too?
There are six bottles of perfume lined up in front of a mirror, pink and peach liquids, and I bring one to my nose.
“You don’t need so many. You always smell good.”
Denver smiles at my reflection. “I smell good because I have so many, Grim Reaper.”
My chest twists, a familiar, dull ache beginning again. The kind of ache I haven’t felt since she killed Wyatt and ran.
I miss her.
I go to my side of the closet, pushing aside suits and watch boxes to find the simple box on the back shelf. I slide it out and place it on the center counter, lifting the lid. It’s somewhere I knew she’d never look, despite it holding the key to everything.
Nico’s real will. The one where he left Denver everything and said she was free to do what she wanted with the businesses, and to go wherever she’d like, but if she needed anyone, to go to Finn and Helena McEwan. The letter he wanted to be sent to the McEwans to apologize for the way he cut them out before Cara died. The letter to Denver telling her he loved her, always would, outlining the hundred ways he was proud of her.
And the final line that sealed my fate.
No matter what Ranger Luxe says, he will use you. He will hurt you.
Do not let him decide anything for you.
He was wrong then,and he’s wrong now. My intentions were darker when I first read this letter, but they changed the moment I saw her.
I love her. I want the best for her. Sometimes she just needs to be steered right.
I open the letter he sent to me. When I first read it, it had been close to six months since I’d seen Nico last, and that meeting had ended with him sporting a split lip. I hadn’t fared much better. Things were said that maybe Ididn’t mean. But he did mean to leave this life and me behind.
Ranger,
I’ve updated this letter at least once a year to keep it current, and it’s a shame that things have only worsened between us. I never wanted that.
I thought once Axel grew up, you’d understand why I want to leave, but you don’t. I’ve said this before to you, but maybe it’ll hit home more if you read it.
Family is more important than power.
Denver is my family. She is my life. I failed Cara, but I won’t fail our daughter. I can only hope when you read this and I’m gone, that Denver and I left San Francisco, and she’s finally living a normal life.
I only ask one thing of you, Ranger.
Leave her alone.
Do not contact her. Do not go to her. Do not offer your help.
Let my daughter be happy and free of this life.
Do that one thing for me.
You were like a son to me. I’m sorry if I failed, but I did, I do, love you.
Nico
I’d decided longbefore I read this letter that I’d use Denver to ruin what was left of Nico’s legacy. The moment I got word he’d died, Cal and I went to Nico’s lawyer and put my plan into motion.
