Page 12 of A Perfect Christmas with Chaos
Goose doesn’t look happy.In fact, he looks downright sick.Lily was right about something going on with him.His skin is pale, and he’s fidgeting like crazy, rubbing his hands together and using both hands to comb his long peppery hair away falling into his face.
A hush falls over the entire room as Lily stops in front of him.
It dawns on me in an instant why Goose looks like he’s about to vomit.But it hasn’t dawned on Lily yet, because she looks around with panicked eyes and then asks Goose, “What’s wrong, baby?”She runs her hand through his hair and tucks a piece that’s already fallen out of place back from his face.
Goose grabs Lily's hand somewhat abruptly.Going for broke, he grabs her other hand and pulls her closer.Then in a rush of moment, he drops down to one knee.
Gasps echo around the room.
Lily’s hand flies up to cover her mouth.“Finn.”
“Baby, you’ve probably been wondering what the hell’s been going on with me.I know I’ve been acting fuckin’ mental.But I’ve just been trying to find a way to ask you somethin’ important.Probably the biggest question I’ll ever ask you.”
We’re all smiling, and half the women are already crying.So when Lily bursts into tears and starts shaking her head no, not just no, but also backing away, the entire room goes absolutely still.
The fear in Goose’s face changes to panic.“Baby.”
Lily loses it.She turns and while whispering, “I’m sorry.”She runs out of the room.
Goose doesn’t pause for a second.He shouts her name and runs after her, leaving us all standing there trying to make sense of what just happened.
The women start to chatter first.Not me or Bethany.Both of us are looking at each other wondering why Lily didn’t say yes.She loves him with every bone in her body.So why run?
“It’s their business,” Dozer says loud enough for us all to hear.“Stay out of it.”
“Come on, everyone.Let’s open presents,” Cap suggests.It's a good subject change because as soon as he says presents, one of the kids shouts, “Presents!”and we’re all engulfed in a circus of kids screaming and running into the house, shouting the same thing.
By the time I open my last present from my new HOC family, I’m exhausted and ready for a nap.They spoiled us—me, Will, and the baby.Honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to do with all the stuff I’ve been given.
Grabbing the last present under the tree, Will thrusts it into my hands.“Mommy, you still haven’t opened your last present.”My eyes dart to Sunny when Will calls me mommy.She’s sitting beside Smoke and curled up at the end of the couch.Her eyes turn sad for a mere second before she smiles at me and nods.Smoke cups Sunny’s knee in support and squeezes it.
She confessed to me a few weeks ago that she was seeing a therapist and that she was working through a lot of things.One of them, the guilt she’s had for so long about not being a good enough mother to Will.She also told me that seeing how good I am to Will and how much she loves me actually brings her a measure of peace.
I don’t know how, and I don’t know if she truly means it, but hearing her say it helps relieve my fears that she’s not going to one day change her mind about giving Will up.It’s done after all, but if she ever wanted to be a bigger part of Will’s life, I would let her.Really for the both of us, it all comes down to what Will wants and what’s best for her.
That won't ever change.
“Open it," Will demands.
I consider it for a second.But one look around the room and at all the people still hanging around has me shaking my head.Mav says from where he’s sitting behind me, holding me.“This one came with special instructions for her to open it alone.”
Will’s little nose wrinkles.“But I want to see what’s inside.”
“I’ll show you after I open it, okay?”I say, hoping she'll forget all about it soon in case it's not something I can share with her.
She rolls her eyes at me and walks away.
Not thirty minutes later, people start gathering their things and taking off.Everyone but Griz sticks around for a while so Will can show him everything she received for Christmas and my new preschool, though I’m sure he's already seen it by the knowing smile he sends my way.
I snuggle deeper into Mav’s arms and enjoy the feel of his hot breaths on my neck.He pulls me to the right a little so I’m sitting a bit more on his lap.Murmuring into my ear, he says, “Mmmm...did I tell you how good you smell today?I love this new perfume.”
I shake my head no.
“No.Well, it makes me want to bend you over right here and now and fuck you senseless.”He trails kisses from behind my ear to my neck.“Did I tell you how hot you look in your new clothes?”
Again I tell him no.He rubs his hand down my tight black stretch pants, and on the way up, it slides to the back of my thigh.He lifts me so I’m sitting right on top of him.“I love the feel of these.You’re covered, but it feels like you’re naked.”
Will comes running into the room, and Mav immediately stops everything.Will has caught us more than once in a compromising position, and let me tell you; it’s extremely hard to explain to a five-year-old why Mav’s hand was up my shirt.Especially off the top of your head.
