Page 2 of A Perfect Christmas with Chaos
Then I explain, “I’m happy because it’s Christmas, and I finally get to give you your present.”Leaving his embrace, I bend down by the tree and pick up a box wrapped in red and white paper.“It goes with those.”I point to the red pajama pants he opened an hour ago.They look sinfully good on him.They hang off his hips, and I can already picture how he'll look once his white T-shirt comes off—gold skin, a smattering of dark hair between ropey abs that lead down to the lollipop I’ve wanted to lick for months, but haven't had a chance to yet.Something I plan to rectify very shortly.
“I thought maybe we could start another new tradition.”
Opening a present on Christmas Eve and getting a new set of pajamas is a family tradition Bethany has.When I told Mav about it, he decided it was a good tradition to start with our own family.It got me thinking about other traditions we could start and how I wanted my first Christmas with Mav to be special.So this is something just for me and him that I’ve been planning.
I can tell by the way his eyes lit up he’s not accustomed to receiving many presents.Just the way he’s biting his lip and fighting a smile gives me a glimpse of what he must have looked like as a child.The sight of it has little tingles shooting off in my stomach.
Then I imagine our baby and what he or she might look like.Maybe black hair and blue-green eyes.
For a moment, a baby with blond hair and blue eyes flashes through my mind, and like it does every time I think of this baby not being Mav’s, my heartbeat stutters.
Stop it Ember.It’s Mav’s baby.
Warner used a condom.
Although, did he really?I was too out of it to know for sure.
In my heart, it's Mav’s baby.And Mav says he’ll love this baby whether it’s part of both of us or only a part of me.But still, until it’s confirmed, I think I’ll always have that sliver of doubt nagging away at me.
“Paul didn’t believe in buying a bunch of “junk” to celebrate the birth of Christ,” Mav murmurs as he slowly slides his finger under the edge of the wrapping paper.“He made us do service on Christmas.”Glancing up at me, he adds, “It wasn’t always bad.Sometimes I actually liked it.It made me feel good about myself, you know?”Then his smile fades a bit.“Just once, though, it would have been nice to get a skateboard, or a Nintendo...or somethin’.”
The nerves in my stomach double as he starts peeling away the paper from the box.
Mav already knows I’m pregnant.After he asked me if I could be, Lily and I went to the store and bought half a dozen home tests.Mav stood right outside the bathroom as I took as many as I could, which ended up being three.
When I came out of the bathroom holding them, the look on his face froze me where I stood.
It wasn’t riddled with fear like I thought it would be, but hope.So much hope that he could barely contain it.He’d been leaning against the wall, leg bouncing, fingers tapping against his thigh.His head was tilted back, and his eyes were closed.But the second I stepped out and came toward him, all of that stopped.
In those milliseconds that passed, he read every nuance of my face and found the answer he’d been praying for.I didn’t have to tell him or show him the tests.He read it in my eyes and shouted his excitement as he scooped me into his arms and squeezed me half to death.He kissed every spare inch of my neck and face before grabbing my cheeks and smashing his mouth so hungrily on top of mine that I swear it was tender for two days straight.
I didn’t care, though.He could kiss me like that anytime he wanted to.It showed me how happy he was—with me, with the news, and with where our future was headed.
Thankfully, I’d asked Lily to watch Will for a few more hours.And I’m glad I did because there was no stopping Mav from carrying me into his bed and reacquainting me with the side of him I hadn’t seen in weeks.
Luce.
My Luce.
I snap out of my thoughts as Mav rips the top of the box away from the lower half.His chest rumbles with approval at what he’s been given.Using his pinky, he lifts the red lace panties.“Jesus, baby.You tryin’ to kill me?”He licks his lips as he takes in the matching bra, nylons, and garter belt.
“Fuck, are you gonna go put this on?”His heated golden eyes draw up to mine as he reaches out to grab me.
Dodging his hands and smiling, I say, “Why don’t you open the card while I go change?”
He looks reluctant but hands over the box.His eyes track me as I back out of the room.I leave him with the card and head upstairs to change.After I do, I step into my red heels and return downstairs.
I have a good idea of what I’ll find when I finally see him, but still, it makes my heart swell.Mav is facing the Christmas tree.He’s sitting on the edge of the off-white suede couch, wiping tears from his eyes while he examines his baby in the ultrasound photo I gave him.
“I wanted to give you your first picture.”I say this as I come closer and run my hands through his dark hair.He pushes his head into my hand.His fingers slide over my calf.His other hand does the same, and then his hands move slowly up to cup the back of my thighs.
As Mav raises his head and his eyes meet mine, I straddle him, sitting on his lap.
While combing my fingers through his hair, I admit, “I bought us a camera, too, so we can take more.”
Mav just stares at me with so much emotion.I can’t tell if he’s pleased by the picture or upset that I went to my first doctor’s appointment without him.I feel bad about not asking him to come to my special appointment yesterday that Doctor Alister set up for me.But I wanted it to be a surprise.
His hands slide to my back, kneading his fingers into my skin.He pulls me a bit closer as if he fears if he doesn’t, I’ll slip away.Then he shakes his head, and his eyes leave mine.
