Page 118 of Knot So Sweet
Emma just got a great job, and she’s finally able to visit. I’ve missed her. I can’t wait for her to meet the alphas. She’s going to get a glimpse of the life I’ve built here, the one I never thought I’d have. Knowing she’s coming makes it feel even more real.
This isn’t the life I ran to. It’s the one I chose.
In the rearview mirror, Rose's hair catches the light like spun sugar, fine blonde wisps that refuse to stay in the tiny ponytail Liam attempted this morning. She's nine months old and everything about her is new, soft pink cheeks and wide eyes that take in the world like it's magic. Her little hands grip the toyhanging from her car seat handle, shaking it and bringing it to her mouth.
"Bah!" Rose announces suddenly, releasing the toy to bounce on its elastic cord. "Bah bah bah!"
"I think she's asking for music," Garrick says from beside her car seat. He's wedged into the back, one massive hand resting near her foot like he can't help but touch her. His scent fills the car, warm bread and cinnamon mixing with the coffee smell coming from the travel mugs in the cup holders.
"She's not asking," Xaden mutters from the passenger seat where he's sprawled with his long legs taking up way too much room, knees practically touching the dashboard. "She's demanding. Wonder where she gets that from."
"Definitely you," I say sweetly, glancing at him. The sun hits his profile, sharp jaw and that nose that's been broken at least once. His dark hair is messy from the wind through my window.
"I don't demand."
"You wanted breakfast this morning."
"That was a polite request."
"At five AM. Before my alarm went off."
"Bah bah bah BAH!" Rose's voice gets louder, more insistent. She's kicking now, little feet pushing against the car seat padding. Her boots have tiny flowers on them, a gift from Garrick last week that he claimed were practical but are clearly just adorable.
"See? Demanding," Xaden says. "Not my fault she inherited the good qualities."
"Nothing about demanding things at five AM is a good quality," Liam points out from the back. He's wedged between Rose's car seat and the window, surrounded by the diaper bag, snack bag, emergency medical kit, and approximately seven hundred other things we apparently need for a two-hour drive. His chamomile scent is trying valiantly to competewith Garrick's cinnamon and losing. "Though I agree she wants music."
I reach for my phone in the cup holder, keeping one hand on the wheel as Dolly bumps over a rough patch. The steering wheel vibrates under my palm. "Dolly Parton?"
Rose squeals. Actually squeals, high and delighted, like she understands every word.
"I think that's a yes," Garrick says, grinning. That smile still does things to me, makes my omega purr with satisfaction even after two years of seeing it daily.
I queue up my playlist and hit play. "9 to 5" starts pumping through Dolly's speakers, tinny and too loud and perfect.
Rose's whole body responds. She starts bouncing, or her version of bouncing which is really more like rhythmic wiggling since the car seat keeps her pretty secure. Her arms wave, hands opening and closing like she's trying to grab the music out of the air. "Ah! Ah ah ah!"
"There we go," I say, and start singing.
The words come easy, familiar as breathing. My voice is too loud, off-key on the high notes, and I don't care. Not anymore. Not after two years of learning that singing loud is freedom, not something to apologize for.
Through the mirror, I watch Garrick join in after the first verse. His deep voice rumbles through the car, turning the lyrics into something warm and full. He's conducting with one hand, directing an imaginary orchestra, and Rose watches him like he's performing the greatest show on earth.
The road curves and I follow it, Dolly's tires humming against asphalt. We pass the spot where I broke down two years ago, where everything changed. The bakery's visible in the distance for just a moment before the road curves again and it's gone.
I kept running that night. Ran straight into the best thing that ever happened to me.
"Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen," Garrick belts out, making exaggerated faces at Rose. She shrieks with laughter, a sound so pure and happy it makes my chest tight.
Liam's voice joins in next, smooth and controlled. He's harmonizing, letting Garrick and me take the lead while he adds depth underneath. He leans forward slightly, making sure Rose can see him. She immediately reaches for him, little hands grasping at air.
“Da-da-da,” Rose babbles, bouncing harder now. It's one of her favorite sounds, though she uses it for everything. Mama when she's happy. Mama when she's hungry. Mama when she sees a dog.
Right now it sounds like pure joy.
By the second chorus, even Xaden's mumbling along. So quiet I can barely hear him over Rose's squealing and the wind through my window and the engine's steady purr. But his lips are moving, following words he's heard me sing a thousand times since that first night.
"Louder," I tell him, glancing over.
