Page 69 of Knot So Sweet
"Three alphas who loved me completely. Zane, Stan, and Knox. We were together for four years, and I thought I'd found my forever."
Forever. That word stings. I pretend it doesn't, wrapping my fingers tighter around my glass. "What went wrong?"
"Nothing, at first. They were perfect. Protective, caring, made me feel like the center of their universe. But then other pack members had children, and I could see the longing in their eyes."
"Did you want children?" I ask, looking her straight in the eye and waiting for her real answer, not some polite deflection.
She doesn't even blink. "I wanted to want them. But I have a genetic condition making pregnancy extremely dangerous. Highchance of miscarriage, and if I did carry to term, significant risk the baby would have severe disabilities or die shortly after birth."
She delivers it like she's reading off a grocery list. No drama, no fishing for sympathy. Just cold, hard facts served with the kind of brutal honesty that makes you respect someone even when the truth sucks.
"So you chose not to try?"
"I chose a hysterectomy. Told myself it was the responsible thing to do. And my alphas said they supported my decision completely."
"But?"
She drains the remains of her whiskey. "I could smell the sadness on them during pack gatherings. They tried to hide their disappointment, but I felt it every day."
That ache in her voice slides between my ribs. Disappointment you can't scrub out no matter how hard you try. My throat goes tight, and I tip my drink back like that'll wash it down.
"Did you talk to them about it?"
"How could I? They were trying so hard to be supportive. But I knew deep down, they wanted something I could never give them. Children. A legacy. The future every pack dreams of. Adoption wasn't an option. Neither was fostering. They needed a blood heir."
"So you left?"
"I left because I loved them too much to make them choose between me and the family they wanted. I told myself I was being noble, sacrificing my happiness for theirs."
"And now?"
"Now I realize I was a coward. Too afraid of being rejected to give them the chance to prove me wrong. I made the choice for all of us instead of trusting them to make their own."
"Do you regret it?"
"Every single day. But it's too late now. They've moved on, found an omega who could give them what I couldn't. And I'm here, watching other people's love stories from the sidelines."
When she finishes, my chest feels tight and I don't jump in right away. The farmers are arguing about rainfall like they control the clouds, the grain elevator women butchering "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with a kind of reckless joy I can't help admiring. It all feels too alive compared to the hollow ache Meredith just laid bare.
"Well, shit," I finally say, because sometimes that's all you can manage when someone just ripped themselves open in front of you.
Meredith laughs, wiping her eyes.
"I'm serious though." I swivel toward her, the whiskey buzzing in my veins making me braver than I actually feel. "That was... hell, it was the most romantic tragedy I've ever heard. You loved them enough to put them first. That's not weakness. That's love."
"Is it though? Or was I too scared to fight for what I wanted?"
I consider this, clinking the ice in my glass. Outside, a semi-truck rumbles past, its headlights briefly illuminating the parking lot. The alcohol is making everything feel both crystal clear and completely insane at the same time.
"I want you to be braver than I was." Meredith reaches across to squeeze my hand.
"I just don't want to be hurt again, and I worry that the more time I spend with them, I'll lose myself." I shake my head emphatically, then immediately regret the motion as the room spins.
Suddenly I'm not just tipsy anymore. I'm furious. Why am I sitting in a dive bar when I could be telling Garrick exactly how his cold shoulder made me feel?
Before my sober brain can talk me out of it, I fumble for my phone, nearly dropping it twice before successfully pulling up Garrick's contact. My finger hovers over the call button for exactly two seconds before liquid courage makes the decision for me.
Three rings, then Garrick's familiar gravelly voice fills my ear, thick with sleep and concern. "Violet? What's wrong? It's almost midnight."
