Page 52 of Cut up
She goes inside her room and I stand there for a moment longer, watching the empty hallway, wondering how much longer I can keep pretending I don’t want her.
29
Girls night
Every day staying at Lucas’s, things just get… easier. I feel more myself than I have in a long time. It’s been a good few weeks of living here.
I’ve started painting and drawing more too.
I feel embarrassed how many times I’ve drawn Lucas. I don’t even plan on it. It just happens.
Every time I’m around him, I feel myself slipping. I know I said we should just stay friends, but if things keep going like this. I don’t know how much longer I can resist.
It’s not just the attraction, it’s everything about him. He’s quickly becoming pretty important to me.
It’s Saturday night. My birthday. And instead of working at The TipsyTap, I’m going out drinking there with Danielle. Girls night, finally.
I invited Sarah too, but she’s got her daughter and didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone at night yet. I’ll keep working on her.
I haven’t even told the boys it’s my birthday, because I didn’t want them making a fuss.
My phone buzzes.
Danielle: I’m here! Let me in bitch.
I run to the front door to let Danielle in, she comes inside and gives me a big hug. She’s here early to get ready with me, she’s also going to crash here tonight.
“Happy Birthday Cammie! I bring gifts!” she grins, holding up two bottles of wine like they’re gold.
“Thank you. What are you going to wear tonight?” Because I have no idea what to wear myself.
“I’m thinking my gold halter dress, it’s tight in all the right places.” She winks at me and laughs. “What about you?”
I groan and cover my eyes. “Ugh. I need your help. I’ve got options. I just… can’t decide.”
“Show me what you got baby.” She follows me to my room. She looks at the dresses I’ve laid out. “You go shower, I’ll pick an outfit for you. No complaining, you have to wear it.”
“Fine.” I walk to my ensuite.
I have my shower and when I come back out she’s laid an outfit out for me.
It’s a dress I didn’t have out before. My heart stutters.
It’sthatdress.
The one I bought because it made me feel sexy.
The one Sean said made me look like a slut. I never had the courage to wear it. But there it is—black silk, backless down to my lower back,it hugs my hips and ass like it was stitched on. The neckline is barely there.
She put a pair of black kitten heels next to it along with a cream clutch.
Okay. I can wear this. Iwillnot complain. “Thanks, Dani,” I run my hands over the soft fabric. “I love this dress. I’ve just been… too scared to wear it.”
“You have to. Put it on now!” We both turn around so I can get changed.
When I face her again, she squeals. “It looks exactly how I imagined it, Cammie, you have to wear it. You look sohot! Go look in the mirror!”
I walk over, glance at my reflection, and yeah, okay. I see what she means. It’s terrifying but exhilarating.
