Page 111 of Songbird: Black Kite
“You mean that you’re a famous rock star?”
I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“Yeah, I know all about you, Hawk Jameson, lead singer forBlack Kite.”
“Okay. Wow.”
“I also know how you were married to a woman who cheated with your bass player, and the whole thing came out at the Grammys after party five years ago.”
“Cooper, I think—”
“And how you were once arrested for public intoxication and assault after punching a photographer in Las Vegas. And that you’ve been to rehab a bunch of times. And that one time, you—”
“Alright,” I cut in, stopping her as she laid out all my greatest hits. “That’s more than enough. How did you even learn all that shi—uh, stuff?”
“I googled you,” she offered with an easy shrug.
“You were able to learn all that today? Just from Google?”
“No. I’ve been googling you for years.”
Years? Nowthathad me pausing.
“Cooper, how long have you known that I’m your dad?”
“Almost three years,” she said plainly, and I blinked.
“Does your mom know that you’ve known for so long?”
“I didn’t want to tell her,” she said, her gaze going to the lake. “She always got sad whenever I asked her about my dad, so eventually I just stopped asking.”
I hated that. Hated that Wren and Cooper had felt any sadness because of me, but as I stared at Cooper while she stared at the lake, I was also so goddamn proud. She was such a strong kid, resilient and brave.
Like her mom.
“It was Christmas,” she continued, still not looking at me. “I was being nosy, wanting to see if I could find my presents before Mom wrapped them.” She spoke quietly, like she was lost in the memory, her mind taking her back to that moment, and I clenched my fists as I listened. “I was digging around in her closet when I found the folder. It wasn’t labeled, but it was full of papers with fancy company names on them. I wouldn’t have looked further, but when I saw Mom’s name, I got curious. So I kept reading.”
She blinked, her forehead wrinkling in pain and confusion.
“The papers were confusing, lots of words that I didn’t understand, but the one thing I kept seeing over and over was ‘the child.’ The client holds no financial responsibility for the child. The client will have no contact with the child. Over and over again. Page after page of all the thingsthe childwouldn’t get.”
Fucking hell. My chest burned with shame, but I said nothing, wanting to make sure that Cooper said her piece.
“I didn’t understand it. Didn’t even really know what I was looking at until I got to the last page and saw that Mom had signed her name at the bottom.” Cooper took a deep breath, her ribs expanding even as she wrapped her arms around herself, like she was trying desperately to hold herself together. “Right next to yours.”
I swallowed, unsure of what to tell her. I never saw the fucking papers she was referring to, but any denial I might have offered her would only seem weak and pathetic.
There was just so much she didn’t know. So much that even Wren didn’t know, and I wasn’t sure where to even start. Sitting there, staring out at a lake painted with the setting sun, I realized I had never felt like such a complete and utter failure in my entire life.
Until Cooper spoke again, her words cutting like a knife.
“Why didn’t you want me?”
Chapter sixty-five
Hawk
Present
