Page 120 of Songbird: Black Kite
“Why?” he said, his voice low as he stepped closer to me, a dirty smile crawling across his face. “Because I want to take you out, Bird. Because youdeserveto go out. Get all dressed up, make sure everyone in the room is staring at you when you walk through the door.” My heart started to race, the rough timbre of his voice causing the fine hairs on the back of my neck to lift. “Because I want to sit across the table from you and watch you in the candlelight. I want to spend time talking to you. Getting to know you, the way I should have the first time I saw you. Because I am captivated by you, Bird, and I have been for fifteen years.” Lifting one hand, Hawk cupped my cheek, his thumb drifting slowly over my lower lip as he stared at my mouth. “Because I am desperate to be near you, but this time, I wanna do things right.”
I was dizzy, my head spinning with the words and the visuals they created. I pictured it, sitting at a restaurant, one with white tablecloths and a menu that wasn’t laminated. Hawk would sit there, comfortable and cocksure, as he ignored all the stares his name and status would bring.
Because the whole time, he would be staring at me.
It was everything I’d ever hoped for, and I was elated and terrified at the same time.
“Okay,” I breathed, my heart tripping when he smiled at me. A full, real smile, not his stage smile. Leaning close, Hawk pressed a kiss to my cheek, his lips warm and soft.
“I’ll pick you up at seven.” His freshly shaved cheek was like silk against mine as he whispered in my ear before pulling back and walking backward down my porch stairs. “Tell Cooper I’ve got plans for her tonight, too. She can invite her friend if she wants. It’s all handled.”
“What do you mean, handled?” I asked, my own smile breaking free.
A playful Hawk was a sight to behold.
“I’m not gonna ruin the surprise,” he added cryptically. “But I know she’s gonna love it.”
With that, he climbed behind the wheel and took off, the music blaring out the lowered windows as the tires squealed.
“Was that him?” came Cooper’s sleepy voice behind me. Turning, I spotted her standing in the hall, her dark hair a mess and her face all soft from sleep. She was still in her pajamas, a pair of cotton shorts and a vintage band t-shirt that was actually one of mine.
That was one of the things they don’t tell you about raising a child on the rock bands from your youth. It got harder and harder to keep her from stealing your clothes.
“Yeah. That was him,” I said, closing the door.
“He didn’t stay?” she questioned, the disappointment in her voice evident, and I took a breath.
This was exactly what I was afraid of. Hawk made a big deal out of wanting to get to know us, to be in our lives. But when push came to shove, he really had no idea what it meant to be a father. I was worried that he was going to end up hurting Cooper, his busy schedule and chaotic life meaning that she’d find herself in last place when it came to his priorities.
He might not mean to do it, but that wouldn’t change the fact that if he disappointed her too often, she’d be the one to pay the price.
“He’s coming back,” I offered, her eyes brightening at the news. “He said he has a surprise for you. Actually,” I added, remembering. “For you and Jillian.”
“Both of us?” She was practically vibrating now. “I wonder what it could be. I need to text Jill. Can she sleep over tonight?”
“Cooper, hold up a second.”
“Mom,” she groaned. “I have to tell her. Wait. Can I even tell her about him? Hawk said that I needed to keep him a secret.”
He did?
“Come sit, Coop.” Placing my coffee cup on the counter, I motioned to the couch, patting the cushion beside me as she flopped down dramatically. “There are some things we need to talk about first, okay?”
“Fine.”
“First of all, when it comes to telling people about Hawk, I think he’s right to be cautious. His life is a bit...complicated sometimes. This is new for all of us, and I want to make sure we are all on the same page when it comes to how this is going to work and what that means for us. You and I are the same people we were a week ago, you know? You still have school, I still have work. There are bills to pay and chores to do. None of that is going to change, so I want you to be realistic about your expectations here.”
Cooper frowned, her gaze on the carpet where I noticed she was crinkling her toes in the pile. It was something she’d done since she was a little girl, and I smiled to see that the habit hadn’t been lost as she’d gotten older.
“What do you mean, nothing’s changed. He’shere, Mom.” She looked at me, her eyes imploring me to understand and reassure her. “He said he came as soon as he found out about us. That hewantedto be here.”
“Cooper,” I started, but she cut me off, standing from the couch, her hands on her hips defensively.
“He said he wanted me, Mom! That there was nothing in the world he wanted more.” She took a shuddering breath, her blue eyes glassy. “And I think—” she paused, sitting back down beside me and reaching for my hand. “I think he might want you, too.”
“Oh, honey.” My heart was pounding, my fingers curling around hers as I thought over what to say about that. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Hawk and me. It’s been a long time, and things are very different for both of us than they were back then.” I blushed, thinking of the way Hawk had laid me out on his bed last night. The way we had fit together like the notes of a melody.
Maybe things weren’tthatdifferent.
