Page 133 of Songbird: Black Kite
“Baby, please. Believe me that I don’t want to leave. But Mick—”
“It’s really okay, Hawk,” I answered, using every single ounce of my strength to keep the wobble from my voice. “Thank you for coming. I’m glad Cooper got to meet you.”
“Goddamn it, Wren!” he snarled, losing patience. “Would you stop talking like I’m never coming back? I just have to fly to L.A. for a meeting with the label, and Mick wants to do some damage control after the photos tonight.”
Nowthathad me paying attention, and I snapped my gaze to his, eyes narrowing.
“Damage control?Being seen with me in public is damaging to your, what? Your image? Yourbrand?”
“That’s not what I—” He let out a frustrated breath. “Listen, there’s a lot of shit going on right now, alright? The label has a major bug up its ass. Mick has us doing a fuckin’ documentary or some shit, not to mention the summer festival the guys and I are trying to organize.” He ran both hands through his hair—the hair that I had been pulling on in ecstasy not an hour ago—before he shook his head. “I just need some goddamn time, Bird, okay? That’s all.”
I looked at him, his whole body seeming to have aged a decade in the last hour. He looked tired, and a part of me wanted to feel bad for him. For the extra stress that being seen with me had caused.
But a much larger part of my mind screamed that I was fucking tired, too. For the last fifteen years, it had been all on me. Every single decision regarding the welfare of a human life had been on my shoulders. Not to mention every diaper, every nighttime feeding, every spilled juice and temper tantrum had been one hundred percent my responsibility and I was just sotired.
I loved Cooper with every fiber of my being, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything, but there was nothing harder in the world than being a single parent. There were no weekends, no days off or holidays. You were the sole provider for every single need that tiny human had, and every time you felt you’d reached your limit, fate walked up and pushed your sorry ass over with a laugh.
So excuse me if I couldn’t exactly find the sympathy that Hawk might have been looking for, but if someone was going to be handing out breaks, I was gonna be first in line for one.
“Sure thing, Hawk.” I shrugged, the skepticism in my voice evident. “You gotta do what you gotta do, right?”
“Bird, please.” He stepped toward me one more time, his eyes pleading with me to understand, but I was plumb out of understanding at the moment.
“I think you better go, Hawk,” I said, stepping past him and opening the door. “Have a nice flight.”
He stared at me in disbelief, and I wondered when the last time was that someone had said ‘no’ to the man.
When he finally accepted that I was serious, Hawk shook his head sadly as he left the house and stood on my porch, he and I creating an almost identical tableau to the first time he’d knocked on my door. Had it really been less than a week?
“I had Charlie sweep the perimeter a few times, and I checked that all the windows were secure. I’ll call you as soon as I land in L.A. and tell you what the next couple of weeks looks like. Please tell Cooper I said goodbye.” He spoke matter-of-factly, and I was grateful he’d stopped trying to convince me he was serious about coming back.
I couldn’t spend another fifteen years waiting on this man.
Chapter seventy-six
Hawk
Present
“I’mgonnaneedyouto back this story all the way up for me,” Alex said, leaning back on the couch and lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared at me in disbelief. We were in my living room, the guys all having come over nearly the minute I touched back down in California. “Because I gotta admit, I’m not following.”
Exhaling heavily, I shook my head.
“It’s exactly what I said. After that night in Minneapolis fifteen years ago, Bird tried to reach out. Not just with letters, but phone calls and emails. They all ended up going toCastor Recordsand some suck-up crony of Tori’s must have forwarded them on to her.”
“Okay. Got that much,” Alex stated, looking to Gavin for confirmation, who only nodded. “Go on.”
“Once Tori found out about it, she headed right to Minnesota, tracked Wren down, and threatened her with a bunch of bogus legal documents saying that if she ever told anyone about the baby or her connection to me,Castor Recordswould sue the shit outta her, making her life miserable for all eternity.” I ground my teeth just thinking about Wren being that vulnerable. It made my stomach churn thinking about my girls being discarded like that, frightened and then hidden from me for fifteen years.
Tori had a fuck of a lot to answer for.
“Have you seen those documents?” Gavin asked, always the logical thinker.
“I haven’t laid eyes on them myself, but Cooper said that she’d seen them a few years ago, so I can ask.”
At least I could when Wren started answering my fuckin’ calls again.
I’d texted her to tell her that I’d landed in L.A., and then again to ask how they were doing, but it was starting to look like she’d left me on read.
