Page 140 of Songbird: Black Kite
“What did you say to him?” she hissed, her hand shaking as she pointed at me. “He was fine before you went on your stupid date. He was happy! Happy withme! You must have done something, said something to make him mad.” Gathering her backpack from the floorboards between her feet, Cooper started to climb out of the car. “You’re the reason he left. You’re the reasoneveryoneleaves us.” Slamming the door, she stared at me through the open window, angrily wiping the tears off her cheeks. “You messed up again, Mom, and I’ll never forgive you.”
With that, she turned, darting into the crowd of students all heading in for the last day of classes before summer break, disappearing from view.
I sat there, speechless, unable to rationalize the words that had just come out of my daughter’s mouth.
She blamed me—for everything—and that fucking hurt.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, staring at the double doors to the school, but soon enough, horns were honking, reminding me that I was in the drop off lane and taking up space.
Throwing my car into gear, I left the school, following the familiar route to the office, my mind a muddled mess of accusations and lies.
Because Hawkhadbeen texting, almost since the moment he’d walked out the door.
And I’d been ignoring him, because I was a coward.
I just couldn’t make myself believe that he was for real, that he could actually want to be with me. Yes, it was stupid and juvenile and a hundred other adjectives, but that was my reality. In my head, Hawk wanting to be with me in any way made no sense. Not when he was him and I was, well...nothing.
So I protected myself, keeping him at arm’s length so that I didn’t fall any farther into the maelstrom that was Hawk Jameson. If I could just stay far enough away, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly this time.
But it was starting to look like protecting my heart was only damaging Cooper’s, and that was something I refused to do any more.
Settling in at my desk, I booted up my computer, pulling out my phone while I waited. Opening my text thread with Hawk, I read and reread all the messages he’d sent me that I had left unanswered. His pleading for a response. Apologies for leaving. The times he asked after Cooper.
All of them sincere and real and I cursed myself for being such a goddamn baby about the whole thing.
Determined to make it right, I finally texted him back, responding with a simple ‘Hi’ because I was unable to think of anything better in the moment. Watching the screen, I waited for an answer, but as the seconds ticked by, I began to wonder if I had waited too long.
When the bell on the front door chimed, I stuffed the phone in my desk drawer, ready to focus on something else—anything else—that wasn’t Hawk Jameson.
“Morning, Wren,” Daniel said, entering the office right on time.
“Good morning, Daniel,” I replied with false brightness. “Your messages are on your desk.”
“Thank you.” His smile, while as charming as ever, didn’t reach his eyes.
Things had been weird between us since the day Hawk had come in, practically peeing in a circle around me. It hadn’t gotten better when Daniel had seen the photos online of us on our date. Even if the press had been in the dark about my identity, everyone in Grand Rapids knew exactly who had been sitting with Hawk at that table, and the amount of gossip and whispering I’d encountered was honestly astonishing.
I had thought I had seen the worst that the people of Grand Rapids had to offer, but I had been wrong.
“You have a client coming at ten,” I said as he walked straight past my desk, not stopping to chat as he normally would have.
“Thank you, Wren. I’ll be in my office,” he finished, closing the door without another word.
Slumping in my chair, I sighed, hating that yet another relationship in my life was on the rocks because of my actions.
Because of my fear.
Determined to prove to Daniel—and everyone else who was suddenly so interested in me—that I was still the same person I had been a month ago, I got right to work, flying through emails and assembling case files with breakneck speed. When Daniel’s ten o’clock arrived, I offered them refreshment and settled them into the conference room, pointedly ignoring the way they openly stared at me like I was an attraction at a sideshow. I waited patiently while they signed their papers with Daniel and then escorted them back to the front door while they continued to stare.
It was the most exhausting twelve minutes of my morning.
“Thank you for calling Daniel Morley law offices,” I said robotically into the phone when it rang for the first time that morning. “How can I help you?”
“You can help me by answering my calls, you nutcase,” Sabrina chided, her voice full of pretend hurt. “Stop ignoring my texts, too. I had to resort to calling you on a land line like a Neanderthal.”
“Hey, Bri,” I laughed, shaking my head. “Sorry about that. It’s been...a lot.”
“I know, babe. But that’s what best friends are for. Hysterical midnight phone calls where we drink wine and trash talk our exes in our pajamas.”
