Page 96 of Songbird: Black Kite
I was different, more different than I wanted to admit, but there would be no going back to that girl. I was happy with who I was, proud of what I’d accomplished as a mom and a woman, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t lament the loss that the intervening years had handed me.
I reached into my purse, ready to grab my lip stain, but froze when I realized what kind of message that might send. I wasn’t dressing up for Hawk Jameson. He wanted to have lunch with me? He could take me as I was. We weren’t going on a date, just talking. I was going to get the answers I’d always wanted and that would be that.
Right. I could do this. I could have a civilized conversation with the father of my child who very clearly tossed us away fifteen years ago and not break down into a sobbing mess.
Totally. No sweat.
Hefting my bag up on to my shoulder, I straightened my spine and headed out to face the one man I never thought I’d see again.
Hawk Jameson.
My baby daddy.
Chapter fifty-seven
Wren
Present
“Wherearewegoing?”I asked, ducking my head as we drove through town. Grand Rapids wasn’t exactly small, but there were still too many opportunities to run into people I knew, people who would ask questions.
“I figured a bit of privacy was best, considering what we need to talk about,” Hawk replied, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. “We can eat at my place. Or, the place where I’m staying, anyway.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
The silence stretched on as we crawled through the mid-day traffic on the bridge, neither of us having anything more to say.
We were so pathetic.
In my head, I ran through the conversation we were about to have, preparing my questions and sharpening my accusations.
If I was being honest, I’d already had this conversation a thousand times. Hawk had just never actually been present.
No, I’d spent countless nights—countless angry, exhausted, melancholy nights—going over all the things I’d say to him if I was ever able to. How I’d tell him how much he’d hurt me, broken my heart at the way he’d so callously tossed us away. How he didn’t have to love me. Hell, he didn’t even have to like me, but none of that should have affected his treatment of Cooper, an innocent baby who deserved to know her father.
There were also nights when the sadness was the dominant emotion, rendering me a puddle of tears in my bed, whispering words of desperation, quietly begging the universe to just let him come to us. If he could only see her, I knew he’d care.
And now he was here, and my fear was a living, breathing thing inside me.
Would he try to take her? Would he be so cruel as to take the one thing in the world I cared about more than anything?
Or was he just here for a moment? Would he tease Cooper with his presence, then disappear back into the air, leaving her as heartbroken as I had been?
Well, he could try. He could try to take her and he could try to hurt her, but I wouldn’t allow it.
Hawk would have to go to war with me before I’d let him harm one hair on my sweet girl’s head.
By the time Hawk pulled the car to a stop, I was seething with fiery determination, ready to do battle. Exiting the fancy vehicle, I followed him up to the front door, laughing internally at the fact that he was renting Sabrina’s grandma’s house.
Because of course he was. He couldn’t have found some other random place, some house that I’d never have to go into again once he decided to pull up stakes and abandon us.
“Nice place,” I quipped, and he turned to look at me, his hand paused on the doorknob.
“Uh, yeah. It’s a rental.”
“I know.”
