Page 99 of Songbird: Black Kite
The relief that swept through me almost had my legs collapsing under me. He hadn’t ignored me. He hadn’t thrown me away the way my father had just because the situation was mildly inconvenient.
I had doubted it, doubted everything, but somewhere deep down I’d always held out hope that Hawk would be a good man and do the right thing by us.
But the way Tori was looking at me had me second guessing my happiness. Because no one who wanted to help me would look at me with such undisguised hatred.
“Why are you here?” I asked, aware that the muttering old ladies may have grown quiet behind me, but that didn’t mean they were gone.
“I’m here because he sent me,” Tori replied, looking like just saying the words cost her something. “If you want to know more, you should get in the car.”
I did. I absolutely wanted to know what Hawk had to say and how he wanted to deal with this. Because if I was being honest with myself, I was fucking terrified. I had no idea how to do this on my own. My mother, always bowing to my father’s whims, hadn’t said a word when he’d shown me the door.
Except for Sabrina and her mother—whose charity was both a gift and a burden—I was completely and utterly alone.
“I won’t wait all day,” Tori snapped. “This town absolutely reeks of mediocrity and sadness. I don’t plan to be here longer than necessary.”
Choking back a snappy retort—mostly because she wasn’t exactly wrong—I skirted around the car and opened the opposite door, climbing awkwardly into the back seat beside her.
I barely had the door closed when the driver slammed on the gas, the momentum tossing me back into the stupidly comfortable seat.
“Let’s make this quick, yes?” Tori said offhandedly, reaching for a leather folder on the seat between us. “Hawk has sent some documents for you to sign.”
“Documents?” I asked, confused. “What do you mean?”
“First there’s the NDA, of course,” she went on as though I hadn’t spoken. “Standard stuff, really. Then there are the financial details. The document saying that you’ll never seek additional funds after this initial offering. And of course,” she added, her evil smile stretching wide, “the document where he’s signed away his parental rights.”
“He what?” I asked, feeling like my heart had just crumpled to dust. “What are you saying?”
“Oh, you simple little thing,” Tori said, giving me a look of utter pity. “You didn’t really think he’d want anything to do with you and your bastard baby, did you?” She peered at me, and whatever she saw in my face caused an ugly laugh to bubble out of her. “You did! Oh,” she pressed her hand to her chest, her overfilled lips offering a crimson pout, “that would be sweet if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic.”
Her words stung like a snakebite, and I turned my head away, blinking back the traitorous tears that threatened.
I didn’t really think that when Hawk learned of my situation, he’d come riding into town and sweep me away from all the judgmental stares; I knew this wasn’t a fairy tale. But somewhere, deep down inside, I’d hoped he would at least want to meet his child. Maybe set up some sort of visitation schedule, like the kids in school all had with their divorced parents.
I thought we would manage something. Together.
I never considered that when he learned of the baby, he’d want nothing to do with us at all.
“Where is he?” I finally asked. “Why didn’t he come here himself? Why send you, of all people?” I didn’t have to tell her that I remembered their interaction that night in February. How Hawk had fought with her to leave him alone, how she was basically tossed off the bus into the snow.
She knew I’d seen it all go down; I could see the shame burning in her evil eyes.
“Hawk and I share a veryspecialrelationship,” she said, her words a low hiss in the quiet of the car. “Artists like him are passionate people. They live lives full of extremes. There’s very little room for the kind of stability that a”—she dropped her eyes to my belly, and I hugged it even tighter—“child would require.”
I swallowed down a sob. She was right; there was never a hope that Hawk would want anything to do with me. With us. I was a complete burden on everyone else in my life, so why would he think any differently?
“What does he want me to do?” I whispered, unable to look Tori in the eye.
“Simple. You’ll sign these papers absolving him of all responsibility, you’ll take this check for fifty thousand dollars, and you’ll—”
“I don’t want hismoney,” I said, a sick feeling churning in my gut. I couldn’t stand the idea that Hawk thought he needed to buy my silence.
“You don’t want his money?” Tori repeated, then tossed her head back and laughed loudly. “You idiot. Everyone wants his money. That’s all anyone ever wants. To have his money or to use him to make themselves more money.”
I stared at her, wondering which of the two categories she fell into.
“What exactly do you think you’re going to do without this?” she asked, waving the check in my face. “You think you’re going to be able to provide for a child on your own? Kids need a lot of shit, and Hawk is willing to give you this money on the condition that you never contact him again.”
“What?” I asked, feeling dizzy. “What do you mean?”
