Page 129 of Songbird: Black Kite
I needed to remember that he had a life somewhere else, important things that he needed to do and people who relied on him.
Cooper and I were shiny and new, but we weren’t his forever. This feeling of comfort and safety would be temporary, and I couldn’t forget that.
No matter what he said.
If there was one lesson I’d truly learned in my life, it was that people rarely kept their promises.
“Why didn’t you ever leave, Bird?” he asked, the sky now an inky blue-black. The heat of the day was finally dwindling, and a light breeze raised goosebumps on my arms. “Why stay in a place where the people treat you like you don’t belong?”
For a while, I didn’t answer him, my mind chewing over the words I wanted to say.
How could I tell him that even though the town was awful and judgmental and cruel, it was also the only thing I had ever known. That when I considered leaving after Cooper was born, I’d been plagued with the paralyzing fear that the outside world would be even worse than Grand Rapids. That even though the town was full of terrible people, I had learned how to navigate the rough waters and was very unsure of my ability to do that in a new location with a completely new set of horrible people.
But all I could manage to say was, “Where was I supposed to go?”
Chapter seventy-four
Hawk
Present
Thebrokennessinherwords gutted me.
She was so fuckin’ strong, but at the same time, so devastatinglysadthat I could feel it pouring off her in waves.
“Baby,” I said, pressing a kiss to her temple as I clung to her. It was like I couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t hold her tight enough to satisfy the craving I had to protect her from the world and all the things that were trying to hurt her. “I’d give fuckin’ anything to go back in time. To do everything differently. I swear to you I would.”
“I know,” she said, sounding dejected. “But I’d never trade Cooper. Not for anything.”
“Wren, no!” Unwinding my arms, I gripped her by her hips, lifting her up and spinning her around so she sat facing me, her legs straddled over mine. I had to bite back a groan as her luscious ass settled over my dick, the steady pressure feeling so damn good.
I wanted her. Fuck, I always wanted her, but right now, when I could feel that hurt she held so deep inside, I wanted to do anything I could to fill her up with something else. With feelings of acceptance and desire.
With hope.
The part of me that would forever be seventeen also wanted to fill her up with my cock, but that would have to wait.
Shoving away those thoughts—for now—I focused on her face, on the beautiful heartbreak that she was trying to hide. “That’s not what I meant, baby. Not at all.” Using my hold on her ass, I rocked her against me, the pressure now torturous, but I refused to let her get any farther away from me. “I would never want to undo what we did that night. Not in a million years. I could never regret our beautiful girl.” I could see the relief in her eyes, and I cursed myself for making her think even for a second that I would change that.
“What I meant was that I wish I could go back and do it right this time. I’d get your number, first of all.” I chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “And maybe not be quite so fuckin’ high.” Wren let out a watery laugh at that, but I was serious. My goddamn addictions had been what fucked up so many aspects of my life, but none so much as this. “Then I’d have called you, probably way sooner than was cool, but I just couldn’t fuckin’ get you out of my head.”
Taking her hands in mine, I pressed a kiss to the knuckles of each of them before placing them on my shoulders, needing contact between us.
“Really?” Wren’s tone was skeptical, but I could see the happiness shining in her eyes.
“Yeah, really. Bird, when I tell you I was a goddamn wreck for the rest of the tour, I fuckin’ mean it. Charlie just about kicked my ass on more than one occasion.” That was a fact; he was so tired of my mopey ass that by the time the tour was over, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. Hauled ass to his sister’s place in Idaho as soon as the plane touched down.
“But,” she hesitated, and I nodded, encouraging her to ask.
Because I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.
“You announced your engagement the day after the tour ended.”
“I know, baby.” I could feel my shoulders tensing beneath her hands, just the memory of that day with Cornelius and Victoria causing me stress. “But you need to know that none of it was real. The engagement, my marriage, all of it. The whole fucking thing was orchestrated by the label.” I leaned in, needing to be closer to her. “Fuckin’ Cornelius blackmailed me, Wren. He threatened the guys, threatened the band. At the time, I though I’d had no choice. But I had no idea you were out there, needing me. I’d have walked away from it all if I’d have known.”
Offering me a sad smile, Wren shook her head.
“I wouldn’t have asked you to do that.”
