Page 49 of Songbird: Black Kite
Turning my head, I stared at the door, still hearing the low rumblings of the impromptu party going on outside and wondering what was keeping Hawk. Unfortunately, on the back of the door was a full-length mirror, and when I caught a glimpse of myself, sitting hunched over like a troll, I immediately stood, smoothing down my skirt.
Great, now I was standing next to the bed like some sort of crazy stalker, guitar clutched in one hand, just staring at the door. Looking around the small room, I noticed a chair in the one corner, covered in discarded clothes. Shoving the pile of shirts onto the floor, I attempted to kick them under the bed.
“Oh, fuck,” I hissed. Because it was apparently not my fucking night and I only managed to stub my toe on the bed frame, leaving me hopping around on one foot, cursing like a sailor when the door finally opened.
“You alright, Bird?” Hawk asked, one side of his mouth curved up in a grin.
“Yeah,” I said, pushing my hair out of my face and trying to look cool. “Totally fine.” I placed one hand on my hip, then changed my mind and gripped the guitar by the neck with both hands, strangling it.
Like I wished someone would strangle me in this moment.
God, I was such a loser sometimes.
Setting the guitar on the bed carefully, I finally sat down in the chair, crossing and uncrossing my legs as I watched him watch me. I could feel my cheeks heating under his scrutiny, and I caved and looked away first.
“Nice room,” I offered up lamely. “It’s very, um, nice.”
“Sure is,” he agreed, leaning back against the mirrored door, one hand up under his shirt, dragging his fingers over his own abs, giving me a peek of the ridges there, his eyes never leaving me. “Very nice.”
The words rumbled out of him, low and dark, and I could feel them like a caress on my skin.
No one had ever made me feel this way before, and I was completely unprepared for how my body would respond to his presence. It was as though all my systems had gone completely haywire. I was too hot, but there were goosebumps all over my skin. I was numb, but I also felt like every one of my nerve endings were firing repeatedly.
It was crazy and addicting all at the same time.
Hawk stared at me for a few moments longer, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, before he moved forward, crawling up the bed slowly, his body moving like a hunter. When he reached the head of the bed, he set the bottle he’d been holding on the small shelf there before he flopped down, splaying out flat and then rolling onto his back and propping himself on the pillows.
“I believe you and I were in the middle of something, Bird,” he said, spreading his legs and patting one thigh. “Why don’t you come over here and we can pick up where we left off?”
Pause long enough to consider it.Sabrina’s words rolled around in my mind, and I totally paused.
Did I want this? Did I want to go over there and put myself in a position where I would very likely end up sleeping with Hawk Jameson?
Yes. Yes. Oh, fuck yes.
But as much as I may have wanted that to be the outcome, that didn’t mean I had the first fucking clue what I was doing.
Standing from the chair felt like leaving a safe house; once I moved to that bed, there would be no going back.
Logically, I knew I could stop at any time. There was a bus full of people on the other side of that door, and I was in no way feeling pressured to do something I didn’t want.
It was a metaphorical going back that I was referring to. If I chose to sleep with Hawk, there would be no going back to the girl I was before I entered this room. The girl who was an outcast in her own home, who had never quite fit in anywhere.
That girl was about to become a thing of the past.
Because from this moment on, I was going to be the girl who waschosen. The girl who was interesting and smart and maybe even a little talented. The one who could have a conversation about music with a fucking rock star and hold her own.
That girl would never willingly stand in the shadows again.
“Where do you want me?” I asked, surprised by the sound of my own voice. Gone were the unsure tones and weak words of a few minutes ago. Now, I was moving forward with confidence, and this was the first step.
“Between my legs, where you belong.”
Who was I to argue with that?
Making my way onto the bed, I settled myself between his thighs, exactly as we had been before, only now we were on the bed, pressed even closer together, our breaths matching as Hawk pulled my hair to the side, his fingers carding through it slowly as he slid his lips up and down my neck.
“Play for me, Bird,” he said, pulling the guitar across our laps and settling it into my hands.
