Page 18 of The Estate
“I told her she had to leave him. Move back in with Mom and Dad so she’d be safe. I wanted her to leave. Right then. Right that moment. I was halfway down the hall, intent on throwing her clothes in a suitcase and driving her home with me, when she told me to stop.
“She said she wasn’t leaving him. It was an accident, and he didn’t mean it.” Rachel squeezed her eyes closed, wishing for all she was worth, that she’d done so many things differently that afternoon.
“We argued. Pretty furiously actually. I couldn’t fathom why she was defending him. I handled things badly. Almost accusing her of being an idiot to stay there and take that sort of treatment.”
Opening her eyes, she sighed. “Jess threw me out. Screamed at me that she never wanted to see me again. We said… we said horrible things to each other.” A tear escaped and rolled down her face. Wiping it away, she cleared her throat.
“After that, things got worse. I thought once we’d both cooled down, we would make up, and I could get her to leave him. But Chris used what happened to isolate her more. Not long after, they moved out of Connecticut. She never even told us. She and I didn’t talk, and she had sporadic communication with our parents.”
By now, Lisa had taken the burgers off the grill, covering them in tinfoil before resuming her seat at the table. “I didn’t know it had gotten that bad,” Lisa said. “You said she’d been in an abusive relationship, but I didn’t realize.”
“I rarely get into it with people,” Rachel explained. “It’s just that my sister’s ex, Chris… He was full of himself and condescending, but he was so charming and seemed so nice. When they started dating, I told my sister she was lucky to have him in her life,” she laughed bitterly. “Some luck. He methodically dismantled my sister and tore my family apart.”
“But you said she’s safe now. He’s out of her life, right?” Lottie asked quietly.
“Right,” Rachel replied. “The car accident that killed our parents changed things, and Jess started to distance herself from him. He’s in jail now, so she has some space to breathe.”
“Thankfully, she’s back in Connecticut now, rebuilding her life. He controlled so much for so many years; who she socialized with, where she worked, everything. She’s been working hard on herself and her career. She has her associates degree, but she never did much with it. Now she’ll hopefully pursue the career she dreamed of when we were kids.”
“Of course, she and I are working on our relationship. We’re not as close as we once were, but things are getting better. We get together when we can. Actually, we have plans to have dinner in the coming days.
The truth was, no matter how fast Rachel wanted it to go, mending the connection with Jess was going slowly. When her frustration was at peak levels, Rachel reminded herself of something their mom would say. ‘You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give.’
Rachel smiled at the memory of her mom forever quoting Eleanor Roosevelt’s wisdom. Her mom greatly respected Mrs. Roosevelt. One year they’d even vacationed in New York so they could visit the Eleanor Roosevelt historic home of Val-Kill. Whenever she or Jess had struggled, her mom would repeat the quote.
Somehow now, after what transpired, the quote felt much more personal. Would her mom think she was meeting this situation with the best she had to give? It was distressing to think she might not be living up to her expectations. Her mom had always been such a guiding force, perhaps she’d deviated too much from those lessons. Or maybe she’d let fear take too great a hold. She wished with all of her heart that her mom was still around to talk to, to seek for advice.
“I’m just glad she’s back and doing well,” Rachel said. “Although it kills me, I didn’t see Chris for who he was.”
“Is that your concern with Cal?” Lisa asked.
“Not consciously,” Rachel hedged. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to herself that she’d developed a severe aversion to anyone who reminded her of Chris. “Part of it is that certain personality traits or attitudes bring all this up for me. That’s bad enough to begin with.”
Rachel had a sip of her sangria, struggling to share what she was feeling. Lisa and Lottie gave her the time to find her words. “The other part is that I’m paranoid about making the samemistake. I didn’t see what or who Chris actually was. If I had, if I’d taken the time back then, things would have been different.”
“But you don’t know that,” Lisa pushed back. “I understand your viewpoint, however I think you’re taking responsibility for things you shouldn’t be. Even if you’d seen or guessed what Chris would do, there’s no way to know the outcome.”
Lisa had a point. Rachel just didn’t know whether it would change the way the guilt ate at her. Her sister had endured hell, their family was destroyed, and she’d lost years with her sister. It was hard not to believe she could have changed that and saved them all from so much heartbreak and pain.
“Lisa, I hear you. I’ll have to give that more thought.”
“Not for nothing,” Lottie added. “I know we don’t like Cal.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Lisa said over her shoulder as she went back into the house to grab the remainder of dinner.
“I mean,” Lottie continued. “You, yourself said you weren’t sure if you were accurately perceiving Cal’s behavior correctly. Maybe your radar is set on high, as it naturally would be. It’s also possible that given what you’ve said about the obvious tension with his parents around White Hall Estate, he might be going through something right now. Perhaps he isn’t showing you his true or best self.”
Lisa came onto the deck and started setting containers on the table. “I’m not sure there’s any actual answer to this right now. I would say you are among the most perceptive, compassionate people I know.”
“Here! Here!” Lottie cheered, making Rachel smile.
“It’s important to trust your instincts, but also keep in mind that Cal is not Chris. At least we don’t know that for sure. Whynot try to go into the project with an open mind? Be aware of your potential bias that may cause you to judge him unfairly.”
“Open mind. Perceptive heart. Trust your gut,” Lottie summed up.
Rachel nodded. She had a great deal to think about in the coming days. There was a lot riding on this project. Furthermore, she refused to treat someone unfairly. Her friends were right. “That’s doable,” she replied.
“And we expect a detailed report,” Lottie stated before lifting her glass. “To Rachel and her new project. May it be fun, informative, and amazing. And may the hunky guy with the great suits and the long lashes, and emerald green eyes, not prove to be the most despicable human being on the planet who we have to covertly bury in a shallow grave late one night deep in the Connecticut wilderness. Cheers!”
