Page 104 of Kicks
Poor Barry looked taken aback. Once again, Eddie regretted his words. At this rate he would have to take a vow of silence. He didn’t, however, regret addressing this with Barry.
“What do you mean?”
“You told me you were in love once and you screwed it all up,” Eddie replied. “Why didn’t you try again?”
Barry let the words settle. “You have a valid point. I panicked and convinced myself I’d be better off on my own. Turns out I got that horribly wrong.”
“A wise man once told me to never give up on love. Seems he won’t take his own advice.”
Barry sighed. “That’s a fair cop, I suppose. No, that ship has sailed a long time ago. She wouldn’t be interested now.”
“Has she moved on with someone else?”
Barry frowned. “I don’t think so.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“I couldn’t. Not after all these years. She wouldn’t want to hear from me.”
Eddie stared him dead in the eye. “Amanda would love to hear from you about something other than the price of hand sanitizer.”
TWENTY-FOUR
BILLY
Billy and Crystal were lying top to tail on the sofa. Billy was reading and Crystal was scrolling on her phone, as usual. He had long since given up trying to persuade her to try a book.
The radio played in the background to soften the silence. Billy realised he would miss this while she was at summer camp. He enjoyed being with someone.
He had bought the flat when he’d been with his ex. Crystal moving in and his ex leaving had a very small overlap. Nate had had no intention of sharing the burden. Billy hadn’t seen him for years. The last he heard, Nate was living in New York. That would probably suit him.
Then something struck him.
I’ve never lived on my own.
It was a sobering thought. During uni days and pre-Nate he had lived in a variety of house shares. Even if it was temporary, the idea of being truly alone startled him.
“I wonder what kind of place we’ll have up north,” he said.
Crystal lowered her phone.
“Can I say something?” she said.
Billy frowned. “Of course you can.”
She looked nervous. His stomach clenched.
Fuck, she’s had bad news.
“I’m not sure you coming to Manchester is going to work.”
Billy’s jaw dropped. “Really?”
“Don’t interrupt me, okay? Promise?”
Taking a breath to brace himself, Billy sat up. “Promise.”
“You’ve done so much for me since Mum went. But I’m fifteen, nearly sixteen,” she said. “I want to do it myself. I need to.”
