Page 1 of Kicks
ONE
EDDIE
The Saucy Swallowmade light work of the timid waves. Summer had a firm grip on Brighton. The sea was reassuringly calm.
“You look a bit green,” Eddie Channing said to his flatmate and best friend, Scott Fitzgerald.
“I hate bloody boats,” he replied through gritted teeth. “The shame of puking up in front of the Queen when I was in Sea Scouts has given me PTSD.”
Eddie chuckled and let the sea air blow over his face. He found it refreshing to be on the open sea.
“Here you go.”
Tyler Jones, Eddie and Scott’s other best friend and also flatmate, handed Scott a glass of lemonade.
“It cures nausea,” he said.
Scott took it.
“Thanks. I’m a terrible sailor.”
Tyler sat down on the other side of Scott. “There was me thinking you’d be at home with a load of seamen.”
“I haven’t the energy to scold you for that terrible joke.”
“Hush,” Eddie said. “Bossman is giving his speech.”
Alistair Webb, the chief executive of Pleasure Seekers, cleared his throat into a microphone.
“Can you all hear me?”
Murmurs in the affirmative rippled through the passengers, who all faced him.
“Thank you for attending the Pleasure Seekers summer social,” Alistair said. “I’m so pleased to be celebrating another wonderful year with you all.”
“We’re so lucky he fitted us in between ski holidays and cruising the Med,” Scott muttered.
It appeared his seasickness hadn’t paralysed his ability to make sly digs.
“I am so proud to say that I work for Pleasure Seekers and I hope you are too,” Alistair continued. “We are on a mission to spice up the sex lives of Britain. Judging by the financials, my goodness, we are achieving that.”
Pleasure Seekers was the country’s leading online adult store. Eddie had worked in the sales department for a few years and absolutely loved it.
“With that in mind, I’d like to announce that we will be giving you all a bonus of five hundred pounds. I would urge you all to put it towards a holiday. I want you fighting fit for the Christmas season.”
The higher powers were based in Singapore and saw Pleasure Seekers as just another brand in their collection. They rarely visited. Alistair tended to do their bidding, although he was missing in action more than actually here.
“I wish he’d get on with it,” Scott said. “I’m sure there’re too many people on this boat. Eddie, do you think we could swim to shore?”
“No, and shut up,” Eddie replied.
“All that is left for me to say is to wish you all a wonderful evening. We’ll be returning to the marina in an hour or so. Thentaxis will take us to The Grand where I’ve arranged for a buffet and free bar. You all deserve it.”
The small crowd of colleagues clapped politely.
“A fucking hour?” Scott wailed.
“You’ll be fine. Think nice thoughts,” Tyler replied, rubbing Scott’s back.
