“I can’t believe I cried at work,” he said.
“Hey,” Lotty said, muting the television. “From what I’ve seen of her, I don’t think Terri is going to judge you. There’s nothing wrong with feelings, Mercury.”
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Ever since that hideous dinner party, he hadn’t slept properly. An hour here and there at best. He was exhausted.
The message to Nick remained unanswered. He hadn’t dared to admit to Lotty that he’d even done it.
“I’ll get the first clip online then we can watch a movie,” he said.
Lotty watched him.
“I know you don’t want to hear positive stuff at the moment but that interview is good,” she said. “Any ideas who you’re going to do next?”
He hadn’t thought about it.
“I don’t know. I didn’t plan this one.”
“It’s the start of something.”
Maybe she was right. If he properly threw himself into this, the pain of the last few weeks might fade away. Even just a little.
“Let’s see what reception this gets.”
“Does Nick still follow you?”
This was another thing that Mercury checked regularly. “So far.”
“And you want him to see this?”
Lotty had the annoying habit of knowing what he was thinking most of the time. He hated that he was that predictable, even for one person.
“And realise his mistake?” Mercury asked. “That isn’t going to happen. But I do want him to know I’m still carrying on with this change. Why shouldn’t I? It’s not the reason I’m doing it though.”
If he said it enough times, he might believe it himself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The two weeks he spent at the allotments passed mercifully quickly. Not that he minded it so much but every day he remembered he wasn’t going to Bodhi House and it hurt all over again.
Even if his feelings couldn’t be totally ignored, he tried to dampen them down. Lotty and Jeannie had invited him out to Club C to celebrate his freedom.
“What are you going to do with all this time?” Jeannie asked.
They were in a booth, a half-drunk bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.
“It’s all guns blazing with the channel,” Mercury replied. “I’ve got six interviews lined up and an invitation to spend a day with a group of conservationists in Essex.”
“Wow,” Lotty said. “You’re really getting into this aren’t you?”
“My room is like a headquarters.”
Mercury had moved back into Queens Crescent the minute Madeline was away on location. He hadn’t heard from her and he was glad. He knew he couldn’t stay mad at her forever but in the short-term he was absolutely furious.
“Now I can move, I’m going to cast my net wider than London.”
“Mercury Morrison is going global,” Jeannie said.
“Why not?”