Page 78 of Certified Pressure 3
When I finally pulled up to her spot, I cut the engine and got out the car. Pluto unbuckled Zurie and helped her out, and we all walked up to the front door together. Zurie ran ahead like she always did.
Pluto opened the door for her and let her run inside. The lights from the livin’ room spilled out across the porch. She turned back toward me, holdin’ the door open like she wasn’t ready for me to leave yet.
I stepped closer, leanin’ with one arm against the frame above her head. For a second, neither one of us said anything. We just looked at each other.
“You good?” I asked, my voice low.
She nodded, but her eyes gave her away. She was tryna act calm, but I could see it.
“I’mma put some money in your account tonight,” I told her, my hand slidin’ into my pocket. “If Zurie need anything, let me know.”
She nodded again, still starin’ up at me like she wanted to say somethin’ else. Her lips parted, and I thought maybe she was about to, but she stopped herself.
I stood there a second, watchin’ walk in the house before I got back in the car and sat still. For a minute, I just stared at my own reflection in the rearview. My life felt like it was split in two.
When I pulled off, I drove slow, takin’ the long way back to the mansion. I rolled the window down, lettin’ the air hit my face, tryna calm the mess goin’ on in my head.
I thought about Pluto the whole way, and the way she looked when she stood at the door, and the way her eyes said shit she never say out loud. She was tryin’ to play strong, but I knew her. I could feel that pull between us, and I hated it because I ain’t even know what the fuck to do with it. Then my mama basically tellin’ us we needed to get married didn’t make the shit no better. To be honest, I ain’t know how long we was gon’ keep actin’ like we wasn’t in love sign each other.
Then I thought about Kashmere.
She was home right now, probably waitin’ up for me. She complained, yeah, but most women do. At the same time, I ain’t feel like she was cruel. She showed up for me, and she tried to understand me even when I made that damn near impossible. She wasn’t the villain in my story, but at the same time, she wasn’t the peace either. I couldn’t sit here and say she didn’t love me, ‘cause I knew she did, but it was like her love came with conditions. It came with pressure, no pun intended.
Pluto’s love was different. She ain’t ask for shit. She ain’t chase me or try to make me prove nothin’. She just existed, and somehow that made her harder to shake.
The thought alone made me grip the wheel tighter. I ain’t never been the type to play both sides, but that’s exactly what I was doin’, and it was eatin’ me up. I ain’t wanna hurt Kashmere, but I didn’t wanna lose Pluto either. It was like I was stuck between what made sense and what felt real.
I loved Kashmere, or at least I thought I did, but when I looked at Pluto, I saw somethin’ I ain’t even know I was lookin’ for. That shit scared me sometimes.
I sighed and turned down my street. The mansion lights was still on, glowin’ through the trees, and I knew she was up. My heart felt heavy, knowin’ I was about to break her heart.
Now that she wasn’t pregnant, there wasn’t no more excuses. I couldn’t keep hidin’ behind what-ifs. I had to stop pretendin’.
By the time I pulled into the driveway, the sky was dark. I parked and got out, slid my keys in my pocket, and headed inside.
I took the elevator up and walked straight to our room. “Kash?” I called.
The bed was still made, and a glass of wine sat half full on the dresser. Her phone was on the nightstand. I turned toward the bathroom, seein’ light peekin’ through the doorway.
When I stepped in, my heart dropped.
Kashmere was on the floor, her body twisted like she had collapsed mid-move. Her skin was pale, and foam had formed around her mouth. Her eyes was half open but looked lifeless, and her chest rose only slightly with shallow, chokin’ breaths.
“What the fuck,” I muttered, rushin’ over to her.
I knelt down fast, slidin’ my hand under her head. “Kash! Baby, wake up!”
Her body twitched once, but she didn’t respond. I touched her face, and her skin felt clammy. Her breathin’ was barely there, like she was fightin’ for every bit of air.
That’s when I saw a pill bottle layin’ on the tile near the tub, a few pills spilled out beside it. My hands started shakin’. I picked the shit up, and felt my stomach twist.
“Oh hell nah,” I said under my breath as I grabbed my phone and called 911.
The dispatcher picked up fast. “911, what’s your emergency?”
“My fiancé,” I said, my voice shakin’ but low. “She overdosed or somethin’. She barely breathin’. I need somebody here now.”
“Okay, sir, stay on the line with me. What’s her name?”
