Page 85 of Certified Pressure 3
After a while, I looked up at her. “Can I ask you something?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“How am I supposed to handle all this? The baby, Pressure, and the fact that he’s engaged to somebody else?”
Abeni sighed and took a seat across from me. She looked at me with those calm, knowing eyes that made it hard to lie or hide behind pride.
“You need to get your man,” she said simply.
I blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
“You heard me. You need to get your man. Pressure has always been hardheaded. He’s my only child, and as much as he drives me crazy sometimes, I love him more than life itself. I can’t force him not to marry Kashmere, even though me and his father pushed him into that arrangement. But you…” she said, pointing at me gently, “you’re carrying his future. You’re carrying the one thing that’ll change everything.”
I looked down, playing with the edge of my bowl.
“I’m not telling you to physically fight another woman,” she said, her tone firm but warm. “I’m telling you to know your place and protect it. You have my son’s heart, Pluto. Don’t let somebody else walk off with what belongs to you justbecause you’re scared or hurt. Love is messy, and it’s real, but sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps us from losing ourselves completely.”
Her words hit harder than I expected. I didn’t respond right away because I didn’t know how. I just sat there, thinking about everything she said.
Abeni got up and started cleaning, humming softly while she moved around the kitchen. When she was done, she turned back to me and Zurie with a smile. “I should be going now. I just wanted to see you for myself.”
She came around the counter, kissed Zurie on the forehead, and then hugged me tight. Her perfume smelled expensive and soft, like flowers after rain.
“You take care of yourself,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you for coming.”
I walked her to the door. Outside, a black luxury car was waiting with a driver who’d clearly been sitting there the whole time. I watched her get in, and the car pulled off quietly.
When I locked the door and turned back toward the kitchen, the whole house felt warmer. I grabbed my phone from the counter, and there was a message from Pressure.
Pressure:Did my mama come by?
I smiled, shaking my head.
It was funny how it took for him to send his mama for me to soften up again, but somehow, the visit felt like more than that. It felt like the beginning of something real, and something that could finally heal what was broken between all of us.
Just tryna see it through….
The months was flyin’ by and I felt like I was livin’ two different lives at the same time. One minute I was sittin’ in a tux fittin’ with Kay’Lo, Renza and Blaqson, then talkin’ about centerpieces and champagne colors for the weddin’ with Kash, and the next I was in a recliner with Pluto’s hand in mine, listenin’ to the baby’s heartbeat through the doppler. Every sound hit me deep. That lil’ thump felt like a second chance God gave me after what happened with Ka’mari. Losing my baby at seven months broke me, so watchin’ Pluto’s belly grow and seein’ her round and glowin’ with life, did somethin’ to me.
She was seven months when we had the baby shower, which was the same amount of months Ka’mari was, and I made sure it was done right. The whole thing looked like royalty met heaven. My mama picked the theme with gold and cream colors and white roses everywhere. The setup was in the courtyard behind The Keep, under them big chandeliers that hung from the tent top. The food was catered by one of the top chefs from Trill-Land. Music played low old school soul mixed with a few of my old tracks when I used to call myself rappin’ that Renza snuck in just to fuck with me. Pluto wore this long blue dress that hugged her belly perfectly, and her hair was pulled up. Her face was full and soft, and she looked like a woman built out of peace.
My family showed up strong for her, which meant everything to me. My aunt Treasure was there too. She’s a doula, and had been takin’ care of Pluto since the second trimester. Treasure kept everything calm, tellin’ her what teas to drink, what herbs to use for swelling and how to stretch right. She didn’t just treat her like a patient, she treated her like blood. Even my mama, who usually keep her emotions tucked, kept her hand on Pluto’s back most of the day, talkin’ to her softly and makin’ sure she ate. Everybody gave her love.
That day was heavy for me. I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about Ka’mari and how she was that far along when we lost the baby. I kept seein’ her face in flashes, the hospital lights, the machines… So, when Pluto stood up to open gifts, I had to look away for a second and just breathe. I walked over, got behind her chair, and put my hands on her belly. I felt my son move right under my palm, like he knew I was there. It was wild how life could crush you one year and give you somethin’ to heal you the next.
Pluto looked up at me and smiled. Her eyes were soft, tired, but peaceful. “He kicking again,” she whispered.
“I know,” I said, keepin’ my hand there. “He know his daddy.”
The whole family watched us like it was somethin’ sacred, and I guess it was.
After that, everything moved fast. Between the baby appointments, therapy sessions, and weddin’ rehearsals, my schedule was packed. I would go from a therapist’s office talkin’ about my guilt and my temper to dinner reservations with Kashmere where she would be on her phone scrollin’ through weddin’ inspiration like it was her full-time job. She kept tryin’ to pull me back into that world, the one where we looked perfect on camera. Sometimes I played along ‘cause I ain’t know what else to do. I told myself I was protectin’ her. After she overdosed on them pills, I couldn’t just walk away. That day scared me. I still couldn’t believe I found her laid out in the bathroom and if I hadn’t pulled up when I did, she’d be gone. Since then, I been tryin’ to keep her stable, even if that meant sacrificin’ my own peace.
The bridal shower came around and she had it big. Champagne walls, live music, and all her bridesmaids in matchin’ silk. She wanted me to stop by at the end to thank everybody. When I walked in, the whole room lit up with camera flashes. She kissed me, wrapped her arms around me, and whispered about how perfect everything was. I smiled, but inside I was somewhere else. I kept thinkin’ about Pluto sittin’ at home, probably rubbin’ her belly and watchin’ TV with Zurie.
Pluto’s birthday came not long after. I had my assistant drop off a bunch of designer maternity clothes, sneakers, and some flats from her favorite brand. I made sure she had everything she needed for the next couple of months. I might not’ve been stayin’ there every night, but I made sure she felt me in every detail of her life.
