Page 54 of Mahogany 2
I needed to stop myself.
I needed to find an inkling of self-control.
Because if I didn’t, I’d fuck him today and regret it tomorrow. But I was too out of it to think about tomorrow. Too… into it. I needed to work on staying present, didn’t I? Why not choose today to work on that? So that’s what I did. I stayed present. Felt every crease in his full lips. Felt, and savored the wetness of his tongue skillfully gliding around my mouth. Effortlessly intertwining with my tongue as if we’d done this two step before today. Nothing… absolutely nothing about what we were doing felt wrong. It felt… fated. Meant to be. Five years too late… but maybe… Just maybe we weren’t five years late. Maybe we were right on time. Despite the circumstances. Despite my marriage, despite the contract, the moment felt absolutely perfect.
I ran my hand along his cheek, brushing up against stubble and that crescent moon tattoo that wasn’t there five years ago. Crescent buried his face into the top of my buttoned-up shirt. With ease, he plucked the buttons loose with his mouth before attacking my sensitive nipples through my lace bra. I gripped the back of his head and bit down on my bottom lip when I felt his teeth rake against them.
Was this real?
Was this really happening?
It was surreal. Feeling him. Having him. Smelling him. Tasting him. Just… experiencing him. I closed my eyes and basked in it. Because… finally. As unholy as it was, I exhaled and thanked God. Was that blasphemous? Was it disrespectful? To Duke? Fuck Duke. Who was Duke? In the moment, he didn’t exist. I loved my babies, but in the moment… while I was withCrescent, the feel of his tongue swiping across the top of my titties, we were the only people that existed.
I grabbed his chin and brought his face back up to mine for another kiss. When his lips crashed against mine, we moaned. Together. Again, our tongues did that two step. Sensually, we made love to each other’s mouths. Crescent, with his hands firmly gripping my ass cheeks, carried me over to the couch. Delicately, he laid me down. For a moment, he stared down at me, and I was intimidated. Turned on but deeply intimidated. I looked away. He gripped my chin and turned my head back in his direction. Eyes on mine.
“Don’t leave,” he said, in a low tone.
I swallowed. “I’m not.”
“Stay right here,” he paused, leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I went to close my eyes, and he stopped me. “I asked you to stay right here.”
I swallowed. Heart rate picked up with nerves, but Istayed right there. With my eyes locked on his, regardless of how intense it was. Who even was I with him? I didn’t know. I wasn’t the sultry, freaky, bitch from the club that was for sure. I wondered if it was because I didn’t have a mask to hide behind. I wondered if I was… so… different here because it was new. Despite having cheated on Duke before, the context was undeniably different. Then, I cheated as Mocha. I didn’t cheat as Mahogany Mills-Morris. Yes, Judah might’ve seen me without my mask but even without it, I wore one still. Hid behind an alias and those dark walls of Pandora’s. There I wasn’t a mother. I wasn’t a wife. I didn’t own a design company. Here, I was everything. I was mother, wife, designer, mogul. I was raw. I was real. Not a façade. So… it was different. Regardless of what I’d done before, it was new.Thiswas new. As Mahogany, I had a clean slate.
We kissed. Long and deep. His tongue against mine felt like velvet. He ran his hands up the sides of my body and tingles shot through me. His hands felt like magic. Tingly like before. Tingly like always.
It didn’t take long for him to pluck the rest of my buttons loose. Didn’t take long for him to slide me out of my shirt neither. I laid there, chest heaving, titties protruding, while he stared down at me like a piece of art he was trying to read. I wanted to cover up. Wanted to hide. Wanted to shy away but I didn’t. He asked me not to run away. Asked me to stay where I was, so I did that, despite feeling the way that I felt.
I dug.
Searched deep within myself for her. Mocha. For the fun, feisty, careless version of myself. I needed a mask. Not a real one. One like the masks I wore all of the time. But with him, for some reason, I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t hide. Couldn’t tuck my nerves. He opened me up. I was like a lotus flower. Raw and exposed.
He’d just put his lips on the top of my breast when my phone rang. Again. This time, it was my cellphone. It was right next to me, sitting on the end table. I chose to ignore it. Didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want the moment to end. He paused, though. Looked up at me with raised brows. I gripped the back of his neck and pulled him toward me. He got the cue and went back to kissing my breast. But then… the phone rang again.
I sighed and dragged my hands back over my forehead. Sitting up on my elbows, I looked over my shoulder at the phone and my stomach dropped. It was Aubry. I didn’t understand why but seeing her call did something to me. If it were Duke, I might’ve ignored it. Might’ve just… brushed it off. But Aubry calling brought me back down to reality. Snapped me out of lala land. Reminded me of the family I had. Didn’t have this problem at Pandora’s with their no phone policy.
“You good?” He asked, as I sat there, staring over at the phone until the ringing stopped.
“Yeah. I’m?—”
It rang again. With a sigh, I picked it up. It could have been anything. With my finger up, I asked him to give me a moment. I sighed and answered the phone. Probably shouldn’t have, huh? Probably should have just ignored it and stayed where I was, hm? I couldn’t. I left them. Since then, my kids had become Velcro kids. I didn’t want her to worry.
“Hey Bry,” I said, answering the phone.
She sucked her teeth. “Really, ma?”
“I’m busy, daughter. I am at work,” I reminded her.
“It’s late?—”
“What do you want, girl?” I asked, watching Crescent from the corner of my eye.
I was too nervous to look over at him. Too… embarrassed.
“I was trying to see if you saw the dress I sent you. I want to get one made and?—”
“Bry, it’s too late for that. Do you know how long it takes to make a dress? Girl… you played all year. We can look together later when I get home.”
“When are you coming home?”
