Page 57 of Mahogany 2
“When I’m with you? Crescent… this can’t happen again.”
“Okay,” He flatly responded, that doubt matching the one from before. After I told him I was happily married.
“I’m serious,” I said, before pulling away from his embrace.
“Okay,” he said again. “You bout ready?”
He was so nonchalant. I couldn’t stand it. Because it was like he doubted me. Like he just knew I’d be sleeping with him again. And while I hated how nonchalant he was about it, I understood. Would never tell him that though. I understood because I wasn’t confident. I wasn’t sure. I was actually very afraid. Afraid because Crescent was easy to be attached to. Hello! I spent five years thinking about him just because he made me feel something with a simple touch. Tonight, he did more than that. Tonight, he touched me in ways I hadn’t even been touched in by my husband. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the way he handled me. Crescent was new. He didn’t know his way around my body the way Duke did but there was something else. Sparks. Fire. Flow. And the thought of that alone made my knees buckle again. Made me want to say fuck going home to have a round two.
But I couldn’t do that.
I had an entire life. An entire family. A husband. I couldn’t get wrapped up in the web of Crescent Carter.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, as I grabbed my purse. Before I put my phone in it, I hit the lock button and sighed at the sight of two missed calls from ‘Husband’.
“You good?” Crescent asked.
“Yes, I’m good, Crescent,” I responded with an attitude he didn’t deserve.
I stuffed the phone into my purse and ran my fingers through my hair. “Give me a minute.”
Before leaving, I needed to touch myself up, so I went into the connecting bathroom. There, I took a quick ho bath, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair a little. I avoided the mirror. Didn’t want to look at myself. The embarrassment… the shame… it reminded me of my first night participating at Pandora’s.
After I finished freshening up, Crescent was waiting for me outside of the bathroom door. He handed me my jacket, I slid it on, and we headed out. The ride on the elevator down to the lobby was spent in silence. With me looking to the floor at my heels every so often, and with him… either with his eyes on me or his phone.
When we made it to the parking lot, he walked me to my car, and with opened arms, asked for a hug. I obliged. Couldn’t help but. When our bodies collided, I melted into his touch. Closed my eyes and basked in it for a moment, inhaling the scent of his cologne. I had to bask in it. Felt like he was basking in it too. By the way Crescent held on to me, it was as if he didn’t want to let me go. I didn’t want him to. Wished I could live there. But reality was what reality was and this thing with Crescent couldn’t happen again.
Before pulling away from the hug, he kissed me on my forehead.
“Have a good night, Mo,” he said, pulling away.
“You too,” I softly said.
With that, I got into the car and sat there a moment, watching as he walked off.
The ride homewas spent in a blur. It was a blessing that I made it in one piece. All I did was think about him. I couldn’t help it. Would you had been able to focus on the road if you’d experienced what I experienced? I doubt it. It was… exhilarating. And I felt like shit. I thought guilt would set in tomorrow, but I was wrong. I felt a way back at the office, but it really set in the minute I got into my car. I might’ve felt guilty, but the one thing I didn’t feel was empty. I felt full. Fulfilled. Complete. Like all was right in the world, although things were very, very wrong. Feeling what I felt made the guilt truly eat at me. This wasn’t like Pandora’s. Hell no. I never left Pandora’s feeling the way I felt tonight.
As good as it felt, I couldn’t do it again. But if we worked together… if we spent all of that time together, it would happen again and I couldn’t have that. I had to transfer Crescent’s project over to another designer. I couldn’t work with him. I’d never transferred an assignment before. To me, it was very unprofessional, and I never wanted to be that. I just… I wanted to work. Wanted to give him what he desired. Wanted to help bring The House of Nova Ray to life but I couldn’t and that fucked with me. As a passionate designer who’d never quit on an assignment, transferring him would hurt me.
But I couldn’t imagine being able to sit across from him with my clothes on without wanting to rip them off. Couldn’t see myself having a meeting with him without wanting to swallow his dick. Couldn’t see myself focusing on anything but the way he felt. Completely. Not with just his dick inside of me but in general. Crescent was… my God… he was potent. His energy was drawing. I’d just left him, and I wanted him already. How wasI supposed to work with him? How was I supposed to focus on anything but that? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to. So, I had to make the tough decision to transfer him.
With clammy hands I gripped the steering wheel, slightly twisting it, as I turned into my gated community. I shifted my eyes to the dashboard and swallowed. It was a little past eight. I’d never come home from work at this hour. I was fucking up.
I pulled into the driveway and hit the garage opener with a sigh. Parking next to Duke’s car made my chest tighten a little. I told myself to relax. He probably was cheating anyway…right? I was tripping, feeling guilty for nothing. Crescent was probably brought back into my life because Duke was cheating and get back at Pandora’s just wasn’t enough. Realistically I knew that wasn’t the case. I was just trying to find an excuse for my behavior.
As soon as I flipped the sun visor down to check my appearance the garage door into the kitchen opened and Duke walked out. Swallowing, I glanced at him and flipped it back up. Okay, NeNe.Okay. That was nothing. It wasn’t like I hadn’t cheated before. Why in the fuck was I so nervous? I could do this. Sucking my teeth, I reached over to my seat and grabbed my purse.
Duke opened the car door for me, and I stepped out. As soon as I did, I threw my arms around him and laid my head on his shoulder.
“Hi,” I mumbled.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the side of my cheek. “Work?”
“Was hell,” I exaggerated. “I think I’m taking tomorrow off. I might just work from home for the rest of the week.”
I left my arms wrapped around him. Pretended to be exhausted. He held me. The same way he did when I stepped into the shower with him. Duke knew what he was for me. A safespace. Somewhere I ran after a long, stressful day just for a long, long hug. If we were in a good enough space, at least. Despite what I’d done or where the stress might’ve come from, was it not a stressful day? Fighting the urge for so long… just to give in. I’d say that was pretty got damn stressful.
We stood out there in the garage for a good two minutes before the kids made their way out.
