Page 64 of Mahogany 2
I should have just came out and told her I had another kid. But knowing her, she would have wanted me to get results I already had. Showing her the results was to avoid another uncomfortable conversation.
“I know you better lower yo’ got damn voice,” she said with raised brows, looking up at me like she was a couple of seconds away from smacking the piss out of me.
I was tired of listening to her talk shit about Mahogany. Why in the hell wouldn’t one of mine be mine? She was bugging. For her to even think Mahogany would do something like that to me was disrespectful as fuck. But because of the circumstances, I let it slide. I mean, I did give her test results—what else was she supposed to think?
“My bad ma,” I said, pacing, massaging the back of my neck. “Just read it, aight?”
“Mmhmm. My bad my ass. I don’t give a damn about you being grown Ducati. I’ll grab my little bat so got damn fast!”
I didn’t say anything. Just took a deep breath and kept pacing. I believed her. Back in the day, she used to grab her little Louisville slugger and hit me with it. Not too hard—just hard enough to get me to get my act right.
“Hold on now,” she said. “Duke if my grandbabies yours why you… aw hell.”
It didn’t take her long to figure it out.
I looked over at her with pinched brows and pressure written all over my face. Shaking my head, I sat back down and clasped my hands together, resting them under my chin.
“Yeah…”
“Yeah what?” she asked with raised brows. “Don’t tell me this what I think it is.”
“I got another one.”
Instantly, she threw the paper up and shook her head. “You a damn dumb ass boy!”
I looked over my shoulder, to remind her about Deante. “Ma?—
“Ma what?” she yelled. “You tellin me you don’ cheated and got some bitch pregnant?Ducatiiii… I don’t know what to say about this one.”
“I don’t want that nigga in my business, ma. Can you please?—”
“Alright, got damnit. Alright!” She paused with the corners of her mouth turned her, shaking her head. “That’s why the party was canceled?”
I shook my head and said, “No. She don’t,” Pausing, I took a deep breath. “NeNe don’t know.”
She didn’t say anything for a while. Just sat there staring at me with a look of disgust on her face. A look I’d never seen before. She didn’t even look at me like that when I told herMahogany was pregnant with Bry. Disappointment, yeah. But disgust? Never. Not even after she found out I cheated that time. I couldn’t even lie—getting a look like that from my ma really fucked with me.
“So… how old is it?”
“She,” I corrected. “Two.”
“Mm. Mm, mm, mm,” She grumbled, in disappointment. “What you gon’ do?”
I shrugged and looked up at her with sad eyes. “I don’t know ma. I’m—” I paused and cleared my throat as I started to get choked up. “I’m… I’m trying to figure it out. This shit…” I paused again as tears build behind my eyes. “It’s killin me ma. It’s fuckin’ murderin me.”
She took a deep breath and stood. Opening her arms, she gestured for me to come over for a hug. Defeated, I stood and walked over to her. She embraced me and ran her hand over the back of my neck.
“Listen to me,” She said. “You do the right thing. You hear me? You tell your wife about the baby and?—”
“I can’t do that shit ma,” I said, pulling away from her embrace. “She gon’ leave me and then what?”
“Then you live your life and take care of your five kids. Don’t let this get out of hand. You handle it before it catches up to you.”
I heard what she said. Heard her loud and clear. But fear wouldn’t allow me to move in that direction just yet. Things were finally good between Mahogany and I. I… I just wanted to sit in it for a little longer. Wanted to appreciate the love my wife was finally showing me. I didn’t want it to end. And I knew that the moment I told her about Diary shit would crumble. I couldn’t do that yet. I couldn’t do that at all. You know how detrimental that would be to my life? I couldn’t see anything past Mahogany and the kids. I didn’t know how life would look without her. I needed to keep shit intact. And I told my ma that.
“I…I can’t tell her. Please ma, hear me out. I can’t tell her yet, alright? She?—”
“Shhh,” she shushed, as I continued to cry. Hadn’t cried once about the situation. Tears built up, I hit the bottle, had mental wars but never dropped tears. Shit was really eating at me.
