Page 8 of Mahogany 2
“We know,” they said in unison.
“Dad gave us a long lecture when he got it. I don’t know why I had to be a part of it. I don’t wear no purse,” Gabe said.
We laughed and my eye caught Duke’s. He placed his hand over his chest and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’. I just nodded, ready to throw the white flag in just for the sake of enjoying my day.With my family.Happy Hour would have to wait. Birthday 2.0 was shaping up to be pretty decent.
2
DUKE
“I’m full as hell,”Mahogany said, sprawled out on the couch, with her eyes closed and her hand over her stomach.
I wanted to touch her. Wanted to kiss her and hold her in my arms, too, but I was on the other end of the sectional, just… watching her. I was, as always, treading lightly. Had to. She might’ve been in a straight mood but today didn’t erase what happened between us. So, I didn’t push. Hell, a nigga was just grateful for the opportunity to simply be in her presence.
It was after eleven and the house was fairly quiet with the exception of the kids’ devices going in the background. We were in the living room—had just finished dinner a couple hours ago. But because Mahogany always needed something sweet after dinner, she just finished a slice of turtle cheesecake the caterer hooked up for me. Yeah, I got back in touch with dude. It was short notice, but he came through and cheffed up a five-course meal for us. Because it was last minute and he had to come through twice, I paid him again.
Today was birthday 2.0, as Honesty called it, and it turned out to be better than I could’ve imagined. Shit, I didn’t even see a birthday 2.0 in the cards for Ne after the way she handled meearlier. I pissed her off. Popped up at her job on some nut shit, wanting to talk, knowing she didn’t play that shit. Shorty left me in the lounge for hours and still hadn’t given me a fair shot at a conversation. I figured, with the kids wining down, and the mood being mellow, now would be the best opportunity to talk.
I didn’t have a leg to stand on for real, but before I let her think I was cheating, I’d plead my case ‘til the death of me. She didn’t need to know the truth right now. All she needed was to know that I wasn’t out here on bullshit.
“Ne,” I softly said, leaning over a little closer to her side of the couch.
“Hmm?” She cooed.
“Can we talk?—”
“Please Duke. Let me chill,” She interrupted. “I don’t want to end the night on no bullshit. I just want a good night.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m not on no bullshit, baby. I swear to God. I just—” I paused and shook my head. “Ne, I’m worried about tomorrow.”
I was.
Shook like a bitch.
Tomorrow today would be over, and it would be right back to the bullshit. I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t stomach another day with silence, the cold shoulder, and smart remarks. Or worst… I couldn’t walk around this bitch worried about her leaving again. I was in over my head covered with stress. All I wanted was for home to be my solace. My safe space. A hug when I walked through the doors. Something other than what the fuck its been.
“Worried about tomorrow for what? What’s tomorrow?” She asked, her tone low and mellow thanks to the glass of Caymus she polished off a couple minutes ago.
I nervously laughed.
“Tomorrow today will be over and… shit… back to reality.”
“Never left reality. Still stuck in it,” she said.
That shit sounded like… I don’t know. Like misery, the way she put it. Stuck in it. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? She was miserable. I knew that. But fuck, I didn’t know her reality was like hell. That’s the way it sounded to me. Instead of asking what she meant, I let it go, deciding to choose my battles wisely. And since I didn’t want to battle, but reconcile instead, I stayed focused on the mission: fixing the issue.
“You know what I mean, bae,” I said through a deep breath. “Look at me real quick.”
With a sigh, she lazily opened her eyes and looked over at me. Her gaze was empty. Lifeless. Cold. There was no twinkle in it. Not like how it was when she came home. Not like how it was when she opened her gifts and interacted with the kids. Mahogany gave me lifeless eye contact. It was almost as if I was staring to a pool of brown nothingness. Damn. Shit made my skin crawl a little.
“I love you, Mahogany.You.” Pausing, I glanced over my shoulder at the stairs to make sure no one was coming. “I know I been moving a little funny lately, but I swear on the kids I’m not cheating baby.”
Her eyebrows raised and she sat up on her elbows. “Ducati, don’t?—”
“When have I ever played with my fuckin’ kids, Ne? Never. You ain’t never heard no shit like that come out of my mouth and I’m lying. Have you?”
She didn’t say anything because she couldn’t. Back when I was on bullshit, I put it on everything but my kids. My momma, my sister, my brother, shitmy life… never the kids. I didn’t really believe in that shit for real, but I wasn’t risking it. Not when it came to them. As fucked up as it might sound.
“It’s therapy baby, that’s it. Therapy,” I lied. “And work. But therapy more than anything. You know how I feel about it. I don’t like going down memory lane, talking about painful shit.I just…” I paused. “I want us to move forward. You see what happened? Going backward ain’t do shit but cause problems, bro.”
