Page 18 of Nothing Even Matters
“Is she still moving to L.A.?” Joey asked.
“No,” Eli shook his head, “I, uh, convinced her not to.”
“Ah, yes, the D’Amato Dick Convincer,” Nick chuckled as he shuffled cards.
“Been changing females’ minds since the biblical times,” Kieran studied his cards.
“How to go from a solid no to‘Oh God, yes!’” Joey laughed.
“Shit, and making her spendhermoney on you!” Tony chimed in. “She’ll do whatever the hell you want to after that, boy!”
“Jokes aside,” Art laughed with his sons, “how are you feeling about everything, Eli? Is everything really okay between you two?”
“Truth is, I don’t deserve her.” Eli began. “She was with me when I was poor and could barely afford lunch and stayed with me through the affair. It wasn’t easy on either one of us and we discovered a lot about each other; some good and some quite ugly. Even when we divorced, we couldn’t stand to be away from each other. Yeah, it was a break but it was too long, you know?
“And there’s a lot about her I can’t stand. I hate it when we’re trying to find some place to eat and she can’t make up her mind so I’ll choose something for us, only for her to complain she didn’t like what I chose. I hate it when I’m trying to play PS4 and she has to talk to me about some bullshit gossip about some people I don’t know and don’t care about. I hate it when she becomes extremely angry and cursing at me about every damn thing but the next minute, she gives the best blow job ever because she knew she was in the wrong. Okay, so maybe that one isn’t so bad.
“Honestly, I can’t see myself with anyone else. This woman prayed for me, for us, during our worst. Whenever I get criticism, she pulls out her Bible and shares a scripture about ignoring the haters. We lost several babies only to have God give us our blessings. We’re different, but we’re so similar, it’s nuts. And she’s the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She’s my good girl gone bad gone right again. Faye is forever.”
“That is so fucking beautiful,” Tony deadpanned.
Eli shuffled his cards. “Can somebody please…?”
Joey popped Tony in the back of his head. “Don’t make fun of your pussy-whipped brother on one beer, you know the rules. Always wait after the second one.”
Nick and Kieran laughed. “Now let’s lose some favors here tonight.” Nick stated.
“What you got, sons?” Art asked.
“Man, I got the hook-up of all hook-ups!” Tony asked. “Not only am I offering my standard shave, mani, pedi, and haircut for an entire month, but I’m also adding in the new massage service.”
“Okay, I see your service and I’ll raise it by a month of child care and for those who don’t have kids, two floor seats at the Knicks.” Kieran bet.
“I see all of that and add in two dates at Per Se and Meadowsweet. The only Michelin-rated restaurants you have to be on a waiting list for and I got the hookup from one of my students to get you in at any time.” Nick blinked. “Oh, and yeah, I can get Dolce to perform.” Nick’s brother-in-law was world-famous rapper, Dolce Gabbana.
“Okay, you ain’t playing fair.” Eli shook a finger.
“Man, I got you behind home plate at Yankee Stadium, plus a horse carriage ride through New York.” Joey shrugged. “Yeah, beat that.”
“I have ten dozen roses, plus a personalized set to anyone you want to give it to in addition to all of that,” Eli bragged, “oh, and yeah, I can get whoever a walk-in on the show.”
“Fool,Ican do that,” Joey wasn’t impressed.
“You should’ve done it, then.” Eli challenged before he turned to their father, “okay, Pop. You go.”
Arturo cleared his throat. “All of that,” he softly gesticulated, “plus a year of protected service which is not limited to but includes: transportation, security, and first access to any concert or sporting event.” He flashed a wide smile. “It pays to be the mayor.”
