Page 60 of Not About That Life
I swallow. Hard.
My heart is racing and my stomach again bottoms out. I feel like I’m freefalling and I can’t stop. “Yes. She offered to show me how to deep throat, Master.”
Nick simply nods. “And what else?”
Come on, Domi…now’s not the time to beskurred. I breathed in Nick’s earthy cologne, felt his power and energy, and instantly felt the need to submit tohim.“I want to watch you two in action. If that’s okay, Master.” I hastily added.
“It’s fine,” his voice is flat and he’s so hard to read. I don’t know if I’m bothering him by all of these requests. “The more you learn hands-on, the better. I prefer you would learn that way.” He glances over to Ian, who is talking to Whitney and Zerrin. “What has he told you about his past?”
“Nothing, really,” I shake my head, “he doesn’t like talking about it for some reason.”
“Master Ian’s very private so he’s not going to do a lot of talking about what he does behind closed doors before he can figure out if the person he’s with is worth sharing that intimate detail with.” Nick explains, “the fact you know this much about him shows how much he loves and trusts you.”
It’s something I’m constantly reminded of every day.Ian has showed his love for me in so many ways. I try not to feel guilty going behind his back and purchasing various properties without his knowledge, though I do remember the reason why I’m doing it in the first place.
I just hope he would understand why I did it, instead of being angry.
“What else is on your mind?” He asks.
There is one thing, though I’m not entirely sure this is a good topic to bring up after such a wonderful night. Fuck it, YOLO, huh? “Ian told me you might help me sort through daddy issues.”
“I’m not a therapist, just an ear.” Nick advises.
“My father is not dead but he might as well be.” My body stiffens as sadness pangs my heart. Why am I so hung up on someone who does not care? “It’s starting to impact my relationship. I think once he found out I was with Ian, his behavior became worse. I’m not sure if it’s truly him, he’s still grieving over my mother, or he’s being influenced by his new wife.”
“You’re always going to have that issue with your father. Mine left when I was young. I can actually remember waiting by the window every day for a year, hoping he’ll just come back home.” Nick stares out into the distance. “He never did.”
My problems seem so small compared to his. “How did you handle it?”
“He wouldn’t give me the closure I needed so I sought it out on my own.” He turns to me. “And I advise you do the same.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know how.”
“You’re going have to learn. I won’t always be there and neither will Ian.” Nick’s words are stern but his voice is soothing and comforting. “Your father might be going through some things on his own. He might be missing your mother, he might realize your step-mother was a waste of time, or he just might be an asshole and finally feels comfortable in his skin to reveal it. The only person who knows is your father and he’s refusing to say anything but lash out on you. You need to learn that some people just don’t deserve to be a part of your life, no matter what your connection is.”
It’s a shock to my system but it’s something I needed to hear. I miss the relationship I have with my father but I’m not sure if this new person is someone who should walk me down the aisle. I never thought I would be in a position to consider not inviting my father to my wedding.
“If you feel he’s deserving of more chances, give them to him. I have a feeling, however, you already know what the outcome is going to be and you just hope it’ll be the surprise you want.” Nick concludes. “I’m not telling you to cut him but Iamtelling you, you might not want to waste more of your time, especially if he’s becoming more aggressive.”
I shake my head again and turn back to face the skyline. “Ian has mommy issues and I have daddy issues. Maybe we’re too broken to be together.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Nick states, “maybe you two are perfect enough to understand and be strong for each other.”
“Master,” Whitney’s voice interrupts us, “may this girl speak with you and Domi?”
“You may,” he greets her as she walks over to us. Whitney’s eyes are so relaxed and loving as if she was at home with Nick. Their relationship may no longer be sexual, but they clearly have a tight emotional bond. “I need to go home now but I wanted to speak with Domi.”
I’m surprised Whitney wanted to talk with me. Surprisingly, I’m all ears. “Yes?”
“Tomorrow, we’ll go over more routines for your pole-dancing competition coming up. Master Ian told me you just entered and I want to see you win.” She smiles. “So I have a few things in mind to help you.”
I was so used to the competitiveness amongst women that finding the warmth in Whitney’s voice and demeanor was a surprise. “Oh my gosh! Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” She turns to Nick and they stare into each other’s eyes. “Sweet dreams, Master.” She caresses his cheek.
Nick kisses Whitney’s forehead. “Sweet dreams,piccina.I’ll walk you down.” Nick briefly turns to me. “I’ll be right back.”
I watch how protective Nick is of every woman in his life and I can only imagine he’ll be that way should he have a daughter or a niece. He reminds me a lot of Ian and I see why the two men are good friends.
I rejoin Ian in the living room. He was alone. “Where did Zerrin go?”
“She went to get ready for the demonstration.” He pats the sofa beside him and I gladly snuggle up to him. “They’re going to teach you tonight.”
I gulped. My heart raced and I felt my body pull into a million different directions. “Tonight?” I wasn’t expecting it so soon and definitely not tonight. “What am I going to learn?”
Ian caressed my face and feathered his thumb over my full lips. “How to deep throat.”
