Page 9 of Not About That Life
“I got you. I’ll call a car for us when you’re ready to leave.” He mentions as we make our way back to the now-designated VIP section of the club, just for Ivana’s guests.
We settle back into the velvet plush sofas and I lay my head on his chest as he lazily rubs my shoulders while talking to Frank and Blake. Adrienne is chatting with other friends of hers about how Blac Chyna isn’t that innocent and Rob Kardashian is a simp and a half, but no one is taking sides because we all love it when other people are messy (I actually agree with their assessment).
The man (?), or maybe I should saywomanof the hour arrives and Ivana has completely transformed back into Michael. Wearing a pair of green trousers, a white shirt, and tweed jacket, he almost looks like a leprechaun. I’m almost tempted to ask him where’s my box of Lucky Charms?
“Baby!” Frank jumps up and greets Michael with two cheek kisses. He moves aside and beckons a server to come to their spot. Within minutes, the server reappears with a fresh round of drinks for everyone and a strawberry daiquiri just for Miss Michael.
“Hello everyone!” Michael has a slightly effeminate voice complete with a touch lisp. I can already tell he’s a ‘glass half full’ type of guy and we just might become best friends. “I’m so glad you were able to come out! And look who we have here!” He points to me and Ian. “The lovebirds! Congratulations on your new engagement! Girl, let me see that rock.” He lifts up my hand and shake his head. “Let’s see, twenty carat solitaire cushion-cut with ideal all around?” He nods.
“Close,” Ian chuckles, “Twenty-three carats but everything else was on the money.”
I’m too shocked to properly understand what just happened. “How would you know all of that?” I ask Michael.
“I’m a jeweler catering to the Rich and Wish They Were Famous,” he proudly states as he sits down and sips his daiquiri. “You can’t find a better jeweler than me, though people have tried.” The server comes back with plates upon plates of apps and I’m so grateful. Big Girl needs food.
“You’re getting VIP treatment here!” I state before I manage to steal a carrot stick from the wings platter.
“I better because I’m the star here,” Michael proudly states, “and being part-owner doesn’t hurt. I’ll be damned if I’m the star in someoneelse’shome.”
Michael’s words rang true. Now I appreciate that Ian made me part-owner of Angel more than ever.
“Besides, I need something with my free time. Between designing jewelry and being Ivana, I’m just so busy.” Michael feigns annoyance as he throws his head back and wipes underneath his eye for dramatic effect.
“Never too busy for what’s important,” Frank counters.
“Never too busy for my love,” Michael blows Frank a kiss and I think Frank blushed?
“Excuse me, everyone. I need to head to the mens’ room,” Ian stands up.
“I’ll go with you,” Blake follows him.
“I’ll follow,” Frank also stands, “It’s kinda neat there. It has a disco ball and everything.”
“I personally decorated it!” Michael calls out to the men as they leave. He grabs a chicken wing, dunks it in ranch, and slowly chews on it as he turns to me. “Congratulations on your engagement, sweetie. I think you and Ian will make afabulouscouple!”
I smile as I manage to finish off my second wing in just a few seconds. “Thank you,” I quickly swallow and take a drink of water. “We’ll probably be engaged for a while before marriage.”
“That’s good to hear, very good to hear,” Michael approvingly nods. He then scoots closer to me and briefly looks around before he continues. “One piece of unsolicited advice? Diversify your assets.”
I blankly stare at him. “What do you mean?”
“Never be in a position where someone can tell you to get out oftheirhouse. If you’re living with Ian, make sure you’re also on the deed or better yet, he’ll buy you a home that you’re the sole owner of. Always have several pots to piss in.” She briefly glances at Adrienne before turning her attention back to me. “Whatever advice your sister gives to you, listen. It may sound like horrible shit advice but she has your own best interest at heart.”
I’m drunk AF but somehow my brain has quickly sobered up. “I don’t understand,” I shake my head, “why the warnings?”
“I work with a lot of rich and wealthy clients. Women who have been with their husbands for years. They signed a prenup that wasn’t favorable to them and when the marriage was over, they literally left with the clothing on their backs and that’s it.” Michael shook his head. “They often come in and sell the jewelry because they can’t afford the lifestyle anymore while their exes are already on wife number three.” Michael placed his hand on top of mine. “Diversify your accounts. If you’re going to sign a prenup, make sure it’s favorable to you, no matter who’s at fault. But please, dahling, make sure you have your own so no matter what happens between you and Freak of Fucking Hotness, you can say, ‘I Can Do Bad All By Myself.’”
It was the first time someone called Ian something I’ve silently coined him since the day I saw him at Caffeinated and lusted over him from a not-so far. However, Michael’s advice was more important and she was looking at for my best interest. “Okay.” I nod.
“And one more thing,” Michael caught the men heading back to us, “don’t confuse material gifts with love. If he loves you, he’ll do something for you that has no monetary attachment to it. Keep that in mind.”
I immediately thought about the garden in my mother’s honor. “He’s already done that,” I reply.
“Good,” Michael smiles at me, “now let’s hope he’ll act that way forever.”
~~~~~
“Are you okay?”
