Page 34 of War
Seventeen
He sat across from her and studied her eyes. He saw how frightened they were but he couldn’t tell if she was preparing herself for his potential reaction or if the truth would ruin them both forever.
They both were on the edge of the cliff of hopeless, and he honestly couldn’t say if he would save his wife. While he could admit his affair was careless, hers….herswas wrecked withvengefulnessandhurt. Maybe a part of him was still angry at her reaction to what he did. Maybe a part of him pushed the denial in the back of his head so far, but the anger couldn’t see past it.
They were together for so long, to the point where he’d practically raised her. She was more than just his woman, she was hisbaby girland they both knew it. All of her dreams were supported by him. Whatever she wanted, he made sure she had it.
His chest tightened, and breath quickened. He felt the erratic beat of his heart and pushed out a breath to quiet it. Did he want to know the answer? A part of him didn’t. He was content living in denial, with frequent stops in reality.
He leaned back into his chair, with an arm casually draped across the back as he looked up at the popcorn ceiling. If he didn’t know the answer, the real question became could he move forward with no clear resolution?
It was a question he had a difficult time answering. He knocked back his bourbon and stared straight into her remorseful eyes. Fallen tears had dripped onto the oak table. He could already hear the empty ‘o’ sound her voice will make, though she hadn’t said a word. He remained calm, though he was completely tormented inside.
It was then Eli realized he loved Faith enough to let her go forever. “Can you honestly tell me that you know for one hundred percent fact I’m Junior’s father?”
Faith’s bottom lip quivered as more tears flooded her eyes. Her voice came out like smoke and dissipated just as fast. “I can’t.”
Eli felt his heart sank to the floor. His biggest fear came true. “Okay, fine.”
Faith looked up at her husband. He stared right back at her. “Eli, I need to explain…”
He held a hand up. “You don’t got to explain shit.”
“Eli!” She cried as more tears fell. “You need to believe me when I say I think you’re his father!”
“I need to believe you?” He repeated. “I’ve asked you repeatedly to come clean and you refused every single time. Girl, you better get some act right.” Eli got up and paced the kitchen. “When I had the affair with Simone, I came clean about everything in therapy, okay? Every fucking thing! I told you when I had issues in our relationship. I told you how it made me feel when she gave me some attention. I told you when we had a fight, I went to her. I told you all of this! And I came clean. I didn’t want any more secrets, any more lies, I wanted a fresh start.
“So then I find out you’ve been texting the quarterback. Then I find out you’ve had lunch with him. Not from you, though. The phone bill told me. My friend at the paper told me. But we got past that, man. We worked on everything.
“I thought we had a good life, Faye! I thought we worked past everything! Now I got find out in front of the whole goddamn world that there’s a fucking sex tape starring you and him? Now I have to find out there are pictures floating around and he might have shown other people?And now, you’re telling me there’s more.Nowyou’re telling me it wasn’t just that weekend with Darren but there were a few timesafterthe reconciliation.
“And there’s more, there’s more, there’s more!” He angrily pounded his fist into his palm, causing Faith to flinch. “And this is what you did every time I went to the shop? Every time I went out of town, you ran up the damn phone bill talking to him?
“I told you to tell me everything all at once. I told you I didn’t want to find out from anyone but you. You don’t think I’ve heard whispers? You don’t think there are people saying, ‘Yo, I heard from so and so about Faith?’ And what did I do? I ignored them because if it didn’t come from my wife, it was just bullshit. And it’s only when we have a fight, ‘Oh, by the way, I fucked Darren after we reconciled.’” He mocked her voice. “But I shouldn’t question E.J.?”
“Faye, every time I’ve worked on our marriage, you worked just as hard to destroy it. Why do you put me through all of this? Break my heart once! You gotta break my heart each time I do something that pisses you off? You gotta bring up shit from the past? This is every single time, Faye! I’m tired, okay? I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of we’ll have a good week, a good month, and then it’s like World War Three in our home because you’re still hurt over Simone.”
The silence was thick between the pair for a long while. Faith remained silent at the dining room table while Eli breathed hard as he found the strength to press on. “If you don’t want me, let me go. If you don’t want our marriage, let’s end this shit right now.” His voice was calm like a river. “But let it be no mistake, there are many women who would love to be Mrs. Eli D’Amato, would love to be in your shoes, and you’re abusing the fucking privilege.”
