Page 18 of Finesse
I think about my mother and where she would play within all of this. Narcissist definitely comes to mind. The last time I kept up with her, Laurie was about to go to Bali to look at the sunset there. She could easily look at the sunset here in Atlanta, but I guess Bali is more exotic and she wouldn’t get questions about why she wouldn’t be attending my graduation.
I wonder how different my life would be if Laurie decided to stay with my dad and raise me. Would we be best friends? Would we be butting heads every chance we got? Would we have gone on shopping sprees and have tea time parties? Or would we have been enemies?
As crazy as this sounds, I’m even jealous of my friends who have awful relationships with their parents. At least they know where they stand at any given time. I don’t have any closure; just a whole lot of ‘what ifs.’
Odd Future blares in my ears as I focus on my studying. Reminiscing over my Mommy issues isn’t going to make suddenly pass this class. I need to focus so I get the hell out of Clark Atlanta so I can help Daddy manage his coffee shops.
It’s crazy how my future is already mapped out before I’m even out of college. I’m going to run Daddy’s shops until he retires. Somewhere along the way, I’ll probably get married, pop out some kids, and live somewhere nice and comfortable.
It sounds incredibly boring and predictable. Safe, if you will.
Maybe that’s the future my mother saw and decided she wanted no parts of it. She probably knew she was going to wake up every morning and do the same shit on the regular and decided she needed more than just worrying about a certain type of coffee in stock.
I’m already depressing myself and I’m not even 21 yet. Studying is not in my future and I quickly close my book. I pick up my phone to see if anything monumental happened within the last two hours and my phone is dry as hell. Either I’m that boring or my friends are doing everything but studying.
I knew I was lame, but even this is a first for me.
I’m tempted to call Cameron. Would I come off too desperate? I followed him and he followed me back; that was good enough, right? It’s a Thursday afternoon and he’s probably…oh hell, I don’t even know what he could be doing.
He’s probably not wasting time over my wack ass, I could probably guess.
I went outside for some fresh air when my phone rang. I smiled to see it was Cameron on the other end. I did the standard wait so it didn’t appear I was desperate to hear from him, then I picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“There’s my favorite girl,” his deep voice purrs over the phone and desire hummed in my panties. “How are you, baby?”
“I’m doing better now.” I sigh. “Long afternoon of trying to study but I just don’t care.”
“Mmm…I don’t like it when baby girl is unhappy.” He hissed out. “Can I be a distraction this once?”
“Gladly.”
~~~~~~~
We walked along East Lake Park, fingers interlocked on a beautiful Atlanta autumn day. Cameron is dressed casual with a V-neck green shirt and jeans. The outline of his muscular body is more pronounced and I’m a little pissed we’re outdoors with people around.
“I have a question,” I decide how bad I want to ruin this special moment between us. I’ve already come this far so fuck it. “Your post earlier? That line you used? What was that from?”
“I thought a child of 80’s music would’ve recognized a lyric from the best-selling album of all time.” His brown eyes twinkle at me. “Lady in My Life.”
“Michael Jack.” I nod. “Of course.”
“I remember college days. A lot of studying. A lot of partying.” Cameron went to Brown university. It still surprises me he went to a prestigious Ivy League school considering he didn’t have to go to school at all. “You’re almost there.”
“Just over it,” I shrug. “I only have a semester left and it feels like forever.”
“Fatigue,” he answers and kisses my hand. The sensation warms in my heard and travels all the way down south. “You’re tired of it and you just want to finish but you also don’t know where to go from here.”
“That’s exactly it.” I let out s small breath. “I’m just stressed out. I have all that work to prepare for, my birthday is coming up, and my dad is getting harassed about selling his property…it’s just a lot right now.”
“Your birthday is coming up?” He glances over at me and I shrug.
“I don’t like to make a big deal about my birthday. It’s not…” Important. Special. Anything I want to remember. All of the above. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s your birthday,” he nudges and I shrug again. “Your 21stbirthday. That’s kind of a big deal, Taylor.”
“I just…” I look away and watch the kids on the playground. A mother is chasing her young son. I can’t believe I’m jealous of a child. “I never really had anything to celebrate.”
Cameron stands next to me and sees my view. He grips my hand tighter. “Your mom?”
