Page 15 of A Boy is a Gun: Part I
Not that I’m complaining. Me being with Cameron was probably the best thing for Hayley because now she has a reason to go to Bergdorf Goodman with me and stunt on the old white ladies behind the counter and wonder how in the hell those Negroes got all that money.
But it doesn’t matter. Cameron accepted me for me and hasn’t tried to change me once. He always wanted to upgrade me, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate it, and a girl gets used to the finer things in lifereal quick.
I also know that for every woman that’s happy your relationship is going well, there are about ten more waiting for you to break up so they can mosey right on in and take your spot.
“And like I said,” he kisses my forehead, and I murmur. My body turns warm, and my stomach flutters. “I don’t want them.” He gets more comfortable in bed and stares up at the ceiling. I can already see the question marks on his irises, even though he’s calm. Something significant is bothering him. “When’s the last time you’ve spoken to Ethan?”
I think about it for a moment and shake my head. It’s an event I will never forget for the rest of my life, and I honestly feel Ethan intended that. “Not since I saw him at Mia’s birth. Why?”
Cameron slowly nods, as if he’s taking in all the information. The man is a mental file cabinet. He sees something and packs it away in his memory until it’s ready to use at his disposal later. He uses it for both good and bad. “He’ll be visiting you soon. He’s sniffing around.”
“Sniff around?” My back goes yardstick straight, and that’s it; no more solid foods for a long while. “What does that mean?”
“It means he’s not satisfied I didn’t harm Patrice,” Cameron continues to play with Mia, “he wants to ensure I’m locked up for a long time.”
“But why?” I ask. Cameron hadn’t been a part of the streets since I got pregnant, which was part of our deal. He needed to leave the street life alone if he wanted us to be a family.
I don’t want to get bad news that something happened to him. I don’t want to be constantly worried if today is the day some gangster will finally enact his revenge on Cam. I know when he’s home, he’s safe. The moment he leaves the house, it’s anybody’s guess.
Being a part of the dope game means Cameron has enemies at any time. Even though he left the life, people have long memories. I don’t know how big Cameron’s body count is; quite frankly, I don’t want to know. I also know people may not be that forgiving just because ithappened long ago.
The fact that Ethan is starting to sniff tells me things are a bit more serious. Ethan wouldn’t be this obvious with what he’s doing if he weren’t deep into the investigation. All he needs is someone to sayanything, and the dominoes will start to fall.
“Stuff from last year,” he admitted, “no one cared drug dealers and criminals were murdered until there was a rumor I may have been involved. I got word that Jacqueline was in with the police chief, and she might have been feeding him information to take the heat off her. Suddenly now, Ethan and his watchdog care.”
I still don’t understand. Ethan has more or less left Cameron alone, although he hasn’t been shy about his true feelings toward him. The police stand for law and order, but when it comes to citizens doing their job, they don’t like that. “Aren’t you doing him a favor?”
He turns to me, and his eyes are serious. “You would think so.” Cameron sits up and stares out into the distance. “Someone else is tipping Ethan off. Something is making him act like this, and I need to figure out why.”
“What do you think it could be?” I ask. All the prime suspects are dead, and his rivals aren’t stupid enough to talk without incriminating themselves. “It didn’t just start from nothing.”
“It most certainly didn’t.” He turns to me and offers a small smile. “I don’t want you to worry.”
I’ve learned that whenever Cameron says that, it always means I should worry because he’s about to go stupid. “Too late for that, honey.” I cock my head.
“Angel…” His voice pleads as he tries to grab me, but I pick up Mia and head into the next-door nursery. I know what Cameron is trying to do; it always works like a charm. He wants to sweet talk me into turning a blind eye, and I’ll forget all about him being under investigation.
This time, it’s different.
I look down at Mia as I feed her in silence. She’s innocent and pure, and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. At some point, she’s going to learn the truth. She’ll either be ashamed like her aunt Jamie and distance herself from the family.
Or she’ll pretend nothing ever happened…
…like her mother.
I put her down for a nap and walked back into the bedroom, where Cameron was still on the bed and checking his phone. He puts it down when he sees me and turns towards me when I get on the bed with him.
We’re facing each other as Cameron holds me. I’m more worried about Cameron going to prison than before. If Ethan can prove just one thing that could be indirectly related to Cameron, that’s it. Mia won’t see her daddy for a long time.
“You can’t tell me not to worry when I am, Cam. It’s not fair.” I let out a heavy sigh. “When it was just us, I worried. Not that we have Mia, I’ll worry more. I’m not like this wifey-type, these mafia princesses who can run your operation just as smoothly. Something happens to you, Cam; I can’t run anything. Honestly, I don’t want to.”
“And you’re not going to,” he takes my hand and kisses it, “Tay, you know way too much, more than I’m truly comfortable with you knowing. A part of that is my fault, and a part of it is circumstances. But I also don’t want you to get involved in no way, shape, or form. What happened last year shouldn’t have at all. I did everything to protect you, Alicia, and your mom, and it still blew up in my face.” He rolls on top of me, and I welcome him. My hands slide up and down his back as he stares down at me. We’re so intimate right now, yet we’re having one of the most serious conversations ever. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to protect you, Mia, and everything we have. But it also means I will make some decisions you will not like.”
My stomach bottoms out, and I feel sick. Cameron is preparing for war, and all he needs is the go-ahead from whoever is testing him. He’s not acting on anything now because they’re expecting him to. Cameron will act in a big way when no one least expects it. It’s how he got control of East Atlanta. “Leave Ethan alone,” I beg him.
Cameron is silent for a moment before he lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll leave him alone when he leaves me alone.” It comes out as both a threat and a promise.
“Cam…” I begin to speak, and he covers my lips with his to silence me. Once again, I melt within him and temporarily forget what we’d just discussed. The need to have Cameron inside me is greater than any emotions I have about the impending street war.
