Page 18 of A Boy Is a Gun: Part II
She gets annoyed when she hears white people speak AAVE, and she goes out of her waynot to.She says whenever a white person speaks Black slang, chances are they’re saying it wrong or overusing it, and I can’t disagree with that.
Nothing worse than a white Karen saying she’s “outta pocket” implying she won’t be available for communication, when it does not mean anything close to that.
I appreciate Jamie, but I don’t know.It seems like she’s trying so hard not to be like anyone in her family.I’m not entirely sure if I’m dealing with the most authentic version of her.She’s a different type of culture vulture: she appreciates everyone and sometimes crosses a line from appreciation and imitation to exotification—she worships us.
We haven’t spoken about Cameron since the shooting, and it’s a subject neither one of us wants to bring up.I know Jamie is silently happy that Cameron and I aren’t together, but I don’t think our separation will do anything to what Cameron plans to do to Ethan.
I get the feeling they believe that because Cameron and I broke up, that’ll stop everything with Ethan, and boy, they couldn’t be dead wrong about that.Literally.
I don’t have to wonder about how Cameron is doing.The news reported that a detective’s daughter was saying some rather racist shit in bed, and when I saw the tape, I knew whose bedroom it was.I didn’t have to figure out why she was naked or in Cameron’s bedroom to connect the dots.
I don’t know if it was his grand plan to take down his opposition one by one, but the sheer fact that he moved on so quickly as he did was like I never existed.I blocked him everywhere, but like that means anything.He has eyes on me at any given time, so he gets his personal livestream from me.
Ugh.I wish I could be like the City Girls and have a dude in rotation, so one doesn’t fuck everything up.Fuck niggas, get money,is what they say.I mean, it’s easy if you’re dating Puff Daddy or whatever the hell he calls himself.It’s a little different when it’s just me.
“TAYLOR!”
I blink a few times and turn toward the direction of my name being called.It was Hayley with a smirk on her face and folded arms.“Oh hey, what’s up?”
“What’s up is you are staring into the distance like Bambi is about to get hit by a four-by-four,” Hayley sucks her teeth.“You okay?”
Hardly.“Yeah.”My body lets out a deep sigh before I can stop it.“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Oh, okay,” Hayley nods, “I just thought you were about to act a fool when you saw Cam with the new boo-thang he just brought in?”
“And WHAT?”My body and eyes knew where to go, and my feet became cinder blocks.
Right in front of me, Cameron and whoever-the-fuck-that-is are snuggled in a corner, enjoying another performance.She looks like she came from money and probably didn’t know what struggle means.
They’re....rather perfect for each other.
Last week, Cameron fucked me as if his life depended on it.Now he’s here with a Becky with the Good Hair.I don’t know why I’m surprised Cameron would show up with another Heather.I also don’t know why I’m even butthurt.Women mourn, and men replace.
It makes me angry.Like, I’m somewhere between Beyonce-dropping-an-entire-diss-album-towards-Blue’s-dad-and-Summer-Walker-choosing-the-wrong-man-yet-again-but-making-a-fly-album, angry.
All those promises and shit before he decided to eat me out and fuck me beyond recognition?I guess I was Boo-Boo, the mayor of Foolville.At least rent and bills are paid.
I don’t know what I should do next.Should I be cordial and serve them?Should I walk by and roll my eyes and suck my teeth?Should I send Hayley over there with a beatdown?No, I shouldn’t do the last one because she would do it.Hayley ain’t afraid of a charge.
“And what the fuck?”Jamie hardly ever curses, other than a ‘shit’ and ‘holy hell’ sprinkled here and there.So, for Scarlet Witch to drop an F-bomb means yikes.
I watch her as she stares at the back of Cameron’s head as he wraps his arms around his date.I don’t know if I should let Jamie go ahead and kill Cameron, so I don’t have to.At least Ethan has nothing to worry about now.“I didn’t know Cam would be here, I swear!”I cover my ass before Cameron sells me out.
“No, it’s not Cameron; it’s who he’s with,” Jamie starts a cappuccino and keeps her gaze on the woman.Hayley and I flank her as Jamie sucks her teeth and utters a few more obscenities.Oh, she’s white-Karen-about-to-call-the-cops-on-a-Black-child mad.“It’s Ethan’s sister!”
“Oh snap!”Hayley’s eyes danced with delight, and she took out her iPhone to snap a picture.
While Thelma and Louise have two different reactions, I’m stewing.Cameron planned to get back at everyone who’d done him wrong, but getting with Ethan’s sister feels toofucked upfor my taste.It’s one thing to go after Ethan; it’s an entirely different game to go after his family.
“Is that cappuccino for Cameron?”I ask Jamie, who nods.“Let me serve it to him.”
Hayley’s eyes widen.“Are you going to spill the shit on him?Oh,please please please please....”She puts her hands in prayer.
“I’m going to talk to him.Calmly.”Because killing Cameron is not what I want to do, despite how tempted I am to do just that.
Jamie hands me the cappuccino and has a look on her face that she should put a bit of arsenic in it.This is a woman who truly hates her brother.“Here you go.”
My hands grab the cappuccino and saucer, and they’re shaking.Why am I so nervous about this?We’re not together, and who knows how long it will be until we get back together if we do?I take a deep breath, and the shaking stops, but now the nerves are racing throughout my veins.
