Page 5 of Chaos (Deathstalkers MC)
“Make him leave me alone.” She sounds kind of like Lily when she isn’t getting her way.
He looks over at me trying not to laugh. His hand rests on her arm. “First, I’m glad you’re okay. Second, I think you’re kinda stuck with him right now. Resources are low.”
I hear her release a huff of breath before she walks out the door.
“Good luck, brother.” Twisted laughs as I pass him.
I’m gonna need it.
I follow Tracie back to the clubhouse, she immediately heads into her room. I debate whether or not to follow her for a minute before walking down the hallway. When she called me today and I heard the fear in her voice, I panicked. I thought for a second that I might lose her before I ever had the chance to have her.
I open her door and see her sitting on her bed.
“You know it’s customary to knock before you just walk into someone’s room.” She cocks an eyebrow at me trying to settle back into her normal tough bitch act but her eyes give her away. They are tired, and still full of the fear I saw in them earlier.
“Yeah, well I’ve never been one for tradition.” I close the door and then lean against it. “You know you can drop the act. No one expects you to keep it up twenty-four seven.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “Don’t pretend like you know me.”
“I do. I have watched you for years now. The way you look behind you when you think no one else is around like you expect something to be there. How apprehensive you get whenever we get a new guy. The way you always seem to disappear from the parties before they get out of control. You might think you’re some big mystery, but you aren’t.”
Her gaze doesn’t leave mine and neither of us speaks for the longest time.
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
Bullseye.
Chapter Four
Tracie
I cannot believe Torch came in and tried to tell me about myself.
Not that he was wrong.
I thought I did a better job at hiding shit than I did.
I wonder if it’s just him who notices that stuff.
What happened today completely shook me. I haven’t been that vulnerable since the night I told the club what Viper did to me. He had gone after my best friend, Lucy, the night he came back. She was Whip’s old lady and when it was decided that she would tell her story she made me come with her. I had confided in her earlier and she knew the guys needed to know everything.
Shooter was pissed at me that I hadn’t told him sooner. I tried to explain it to him but I just couldn’t get the words to come out right. Viper was already going away so it wasn’t like he’d be around for me to deal with, he had threatened to kill me if I ever told any of the boys what happened, and I was completely ashamed. As crazy as it was, I had blamed myself. All I could think was maybe I did something to bring it on, maybe I could have done something to stop it. I know now that none of it was my fault, but it’s taken a really long time to get to this place.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, I pull it out to see it’s Randy confirming a time to meet up tonight. If Torch wants to babysit me I might as well make it a good time for him.
Part of me is attracted to Torch and I hate it. I don’t want to think about him. I don’t want my body to break out in chills and my skin to heat every time he touches me. I don’t want to stiffen at the sound of his voice when he comes into the room.
I don’t want to want him.
Every time I think about what could be between the two of us, I hear my mother’s voice.
I know you think it’s exciting, baby, but there is so much more out there. Don’t get stuck here just because it’s all you’ve ever known. Reach for more. Find someone who will keep you safe. A life where you won’t constantly need to look over your shoulder for the next threat. You want someone who will put you first, always.
Those were the last words she said to me before getting on my dad’s bike. It was raining that night. The bike skidded. The roads weren’t busy at the time of the accident and the cops said they had probably been on the road for over an hour before the ambulance was called. Some nights I dream that I’m her. Lying on the road. Rain pelting my face. Each drop falling, taunting me, knowing no one is coming. A tear slips down my cheek but I push it away. I won’t break. I need to be strong.
I’ve cried more today than I have in a long time and I fucking hate it.
***
