Page 27 of Sexy Beginnings
I’m brought into a room and sat on a bed. Once the door shuts, I stand making my first voluntary movement since I sawhim. I look around. I need to hide. The room is a square box, there’s nowhere to go.
I curl into a ball in the corner and my tears pour out. I’m trapped. My uncle is coming for me. I need to protect myself.
Curl into a ball, then there are less places he can hit you, I still remember my older sister’s advice on her wedding day. She knew when she left, my father would turn his anger to the next oldest, me. I follow her advice. Curling myself so tight my muscles hurt from the strain. My cries turn quiet. If I’m quiet, they might not find me.
I hear voices in the room but I don’t look up to see them. I’m hiding. Someone touches me and I flinch away. Don’t scream, it only makes them angrier. The hands pull me from my corner, I refuse to help them. I make myself as heavy as I can. They are trying to pull my hands from my face, I grasp my elbows tight fighting them.
“Lucy!” I shake from the yell.
My hands are roughly pulled away but I clamp my eyes shut. I don’t want to see them. I can’t face them.
I can feel someone next to my ear. “Sweets, it’s me. Please open your eyes.”
Jordan. He can’t be here. Can he? I open one eye very slightly and catch a glimpse of him. My body relaxes. I’m sitting on his lap. His arms encircle me, his protection surrounding me. I’m safe. I look around realizing I’m in Jordan’s room. I’m at the club.
“Lucy, talk to me, babe. Everyone is fucking scared for you. Let us know you’re okay.” His voice is cracking, and soft as he whispers in my ear. I bury my head farther into his chest, wanting to lose myself in him. My breathing starts to even out, my crying slowing. Jordan holds me until I pull back to look at his face. “Talk to me, babe.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I don’t know where the hell I went, but it was like I wasn’t here.” My voice is soft, and vulnerable. My body is still shaking.
“Tell me what happened. Who was he? Tracie said he looked like he might have been from the community.” His hold on me doesn’t ease.
“He is my brother. He—” I lower my head to his chest. I can’t tell him this. He’ll know I’m dirty, tainted, used. That’s what Andrew always used to tell me. If I told anyone, no one would ever want me.
“Tell me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I shake my head. “Lucy, you can trust me. I love you. I need you to tell me what’s going on. Lean on me.” His plea hits my heart.
I slowly tell him what happened. My voice breaks throughout the story. His body hardens the more I speak. I can feel the anger radiating off him.
“I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been out with Tracie.”
“No. You are not at fault in any of this. You aren’t a prisoner, you don’t need to hide anymore. I will take care of that shit bag.” His muscles tense.
“No. Jordan, you can’t. You don’t know what they’re like, or what they are capable of.” My hands grip his shirt.
“Babe, you’re a part of this club now. You’re family. We don’t let anyone fuck with our family. Trust me when I say they have nothing on us.”
I start to cry again. I hate that I’ve put them all in this position. If one of them gets hurt because of me, it would kill me. “You don’t need to worry about going out. The only thing is that if I’m not around you are going to take Danny with you. He’s a new prospect, and he’s gonna be here when I’m not.”
A knock sounds, when the door opens Tracie comes in. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her face is pale.
“She’s okay ,Trace.” Jordan answers for me.
“Luce?” Her voice is soft, nothing like her normal self. She’s looking at me for assurance.
I nod. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
She walks over to me and Jordan’s arms release me. Tracie wraps me in a hug. “Don’t you ever do that shit to me again, girl. This emotional crap is ruining my rep.”
I let out a small laugh.
“Jordan, Pres wants you. I’ll stay with Lucy.” She sits down next to me on the bed.
“You okay?” Jordan looks at me. I reluctantly nod knowing that he needs to go. He places a kiss on my lips before leaving the room.
“You sure you’re okay?” Tracie is looking at me as if I might break.
“No, I’m not. There is so much you guys don’t know about my past. Andrew is one of those things. It’s ugly and painful. I’m sorry about today.” I fidget with my hands in my lap.
“Luce, don’t apologize for anything. I just didn’t know what to do. He was just standing there towering over you. I tried to get you to walk away but it was like you couldn’t hear me. I called Twisted and luckily they had been close. When he brought you back here, we all tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t leave the corner. We were all freaking out.” She runs her hand through her short hair. “We weren’t mad, just worried. You’re one of us now. We protect our own.”
That is just like what Jordan said to me.
“I’ve never had a real family, so I don’t know much about this stuff.” I confess to her.
“Well now you do, sister.” She wraps her arms around me.
Now I do.
