Page 44 of Sexy Beginnings
Chapter Thirty
Lucy
Pain.
It’s all I feel.
I have no idea where I am.
My head is killing me. The pain is so bad that even my dreams seem real. I thought for a minute that I had seen Jordan, then it turned into a nightmare where people I didn’t know were poking and prodding at me. It’s probably the drugs Uncle Simon has been feeding me. I’m hallucinating. I wish I could have stayed in that hallucination. Maybe in it I could have been myself again, after everything that has happened I know that is not a possibility.
I prayed to die. Prayed for relief. For God to take me and have mercy on me. I can’t take one more minute of his hands on me. I’ve lost count on how many times he’s raped me, hit me, I just need peace. I need to escape the hell that he has sentenced me to.
I don’t want to open my eyes. Maybe if I don’t he’ll think I died. At this point, I don’t even know that would stop him. Uncle Simon was always a little off but he has become unhinged. He has lost all touch with reality. I have seen first hand how far off the deep end he has gone.
That’s when I realize my arms are lying at my side, not cuffed behind my head. Still afraid to open my eyes, I decide to rely on my other senses. There is something soft under my fingers, a blanket maybe. As I shift my head a centimeter, I feel what might be a pillow.
Am I dreaming again? Please let this be real. God can’t be this cruel. This can’t be a dream.
I take the chance and open my eyes. I’m in Jordan’s room at the club. The room is empty I look around me but as I try to lift my head it feels like a fifty pound weight. They found me. I want to be happy. I want to be relieved. I’m not. The familiar surroundings feel foreign to me. Everything that used to bring me comfort, not meaning anything at all. The bed we used to lay in together is cold and I feel wrong being in it now that I’m no longer the person I used to be.
I should be happy. I should be anxious and excited. I don’t know why I can’t feel anything. It’s like those emotions are gone. I can’t feel anything right now but the pain in my body. The pain from the memories playing over in my head like a horror movie. His voice like a soundtrack on repeat.We are gonna have a lot of fun.
I shiver at the memory, the action causing aches through my bones. The door opens and Doc walks through the door. His eyes widen when he looks at me. “You’re awake?” He walks toward me and even though I know it’s Doc and he won’t hurt me fear rises inside of me. My heart starts to race as he comes closer to me. “Calm down, Lucy. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. I’m very surprised you’re awake. Can you tell me how you feel?”
It’s a question. I should answer him. It’s almost like my voice doesn’t work. I just stare at him.
“Does your throat hurt?” He sits in the chair next to my bed.
I slowly shake my head.
I’m broken. He can see that. Everyone will. I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep, but every time I do, I see his face. I am right back in that damn basement.
Doc stands not saying much else to me. “Things will get better,” he says as he leaves the small room.
He has no idea. Nothing will ever be the same. I will never be the same.
Whether I am alive or not, Lucy died in that room.
