Page 11 of Broken
“Nikki, she doesn’t remember her name, you think she knows what brand of shampoo is her favorite?” Max says from behind me and everyone turns to face him.
“I feel like you’re the one with memory loss, Prospect. Aren’t you supposed to be seen and not heard?” Tracie glares at him.
I look over at Max and I can see that he is angry. His light mood from a few minutes ago is gone. I mouth sorry to him before turning back to the girls, who are filling the cart with more products than I think I know how to use.
“I think that’s it.” Lucy looks over at me as we walk toward the checkout. “You hungry? Want to grab lunch?”
“Um, sure.”
She laces her arm through mine, and I stiffen at first before I let my body relax. We go back to the car and the girls tell Max to take us to the Mexican place. He must drive them around a lot because he doesn’t even need to ask them where it is. As we drive the girls are in the back and I’m up front with Max. Since the truck has bench seating they don’t see him when his hand moves across the seat and grabs mine.
I freeze at first but when his thumb starts to slowly move back and forth I let myself enjoy his touch. I swear that the feel of his skin on mine calms the constant nerves I’ve had running through me. The uneasiness dissipates when he’s close to me. Once he starts to pull the car into a parking lot, he quickly lets go of my hands as his eyes look in the rearview mirror. He doesn’t want them to see. I can’t help but wonder why. A part of me wonders if he would be ashamed to be with someone who is damaged like me.
We walk into the restaurant and Max stays in the car. A part of me would much rather be in the car with him. When all I feel is constant confusion and depression at the fact that I have no memory of myself, he makes me forget. I almost have to wonder if I knew him before. Maybe that’s why I feel so at ease around him. That can’t be the case, though, because he doesn’t seem to know me.
I follow the girls to a table. “So we come here a lot. We usually order a bunch of different things. Is there anything you don’t eat?” Lucy smiles at me. She seems to be the nicest of the group. Where Nikki and Tracie appear to be more sarcastic and rough around the edges.
I bite my lip, her question only making me feel more out of place. “I feel like I’m constantly saying this, but I really don’t know.” I shake my head slightly. Tears threaten to drop from my eyes, so I excuse myself and go in search of the bathroom.
I feel so lost. I don’t know even the smallest details about my life. Things anyone would be able to rattle off to you at the drop of a hat are lost to me. A tear slides down my cheek as I open the bathroom door. Looking into the mirror, I hate that the person looking back at me is a stranger.
The door opens and a gasp escapes my lip when I see Max standing there. My hand quickly wipes at the lone tear. “What are you doing in here? I might not know much, but I know that this is for girls only.” I try to sound strong. I try to sound like every inch of me doesn’t want to bury my head in his chest and relish in the comfort he provides me.
“What’s wrong?” He takes a step toward me as his eyes study me.
Shaking my head, I answer him, “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”
“Tell me.” He takes another step and leans against one of the stalls.
Taking a deep breath, I look away from him. “I hate being like this. Not knowing who I am. Not being able to answer simple questions about myself. Having no idea what I like and dislike.” I shrug my shoulders. “It sucks.”
I feel his hand on my cheek and my eyes rise to meet his. “It won’t be like this forever. Whatever happened to you, your mind pushed it down because it was too much to deal with. Just give it time. I’ll be here to help you.” I have no idea what comes over me, but I turn my body toward him, placing my hands on his hips. I just want to be close to him. I want the comfort he gives me. His eyes catch fire as he looks at me. “You make it really fucking hard, Tramp.”
“Izzy?” I hear Nikki’s voice, and Max quickly pushes me off of him and moves into one of the open stalls, shutting the door. Nikki walks into the bathroom, but I can’t drag my eyes from that stall. Is he hiding? Why would he do that? It isn’t like we are doing anything wrong. I feel like he is two different people when we are alone and as soon as someone else is around us. “Hey, you okay? We thought you might have gotten lost.” She laughs like it isn’t a possibility with my handicapped brain.
“Yea, sorry. Took me a second to find it.” I fake a smile as I walk out of the bathroom door.
Lunch is nice and the food is really good. “So…” Tracie says, “We were all talking and thought we would see if you were interested in working. I know you literally just got here yesterday, but it would get you out of the motel, and also put some money in your pocket to help expand the wardrobe we started for you today.”
I think about it for a second and having a job seems like such a normal thing. Right now, I want nothing more than to be normal. “It would be nice, but I’m pretty sure that to get hired somewhere you might need to know who you are.”
She waves a hand at me. “I know that, but I manage the club the MC owns and we are actually looking for a new bartender. Our last one just graduated college and moved on. It would strictly be bartending and I’m sure your little shadow would be there the whole time.” They all laugh.
“Um, yea, that might be cool. Can I ask why you guys all seem to not like him?” I nervously play with the napkin in front of me.
“It’s not that we don’t like him,” Lucy says. “He’s a prospect, it’s like our job to give him shit. The guys actually want us to. They said if a recruit can’t handles the crap we throw at them then he isn’t strong enough to handle everything the club will need him to do. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes having him follow us around is annoying, but we deal with it.”
“So what do you say? You want to get corrupted a bit more?” Tracie arches her eyebrow at me.
“Sure, I’ll give it a try, but I don’t know how good I’ll be. Thanks.”
“Great! I’ll tell your gatekeeper when to have you there tonight.” She winks at me.
