Page 22 of Broken
“Izzy?”
I jump at the sound of his voice and stare at him. “What?” I look back at the parking lot and it’s gone. I’m losing it.
“I said it seems like something else is wrong.”
“It is.” My hand trails through my hair. “I have no idea if…” I shake my head.
“If what?”
I can feel my skin heating. “If I’ve ever had sex. Am I like those girls? Was I virgin? I have no idea.”
Max starts to laugh, and I cover my face in complete embarrassment. After a minute I feel his hands on my hips. I open my eyes and his face is almost touching mine.
“When I touch you can you feel it through your entire body? Does it make your hands fist because you need more than either of us is doing right now? Do your nerves scream when I drag my finger across your skin?” He does, and I break out in goosebumps.
I nod, unable to say anything to him.
“You have no worries about being a lesbian. Now the rest of the stuff? Who knows. We will figure it out, though, together.” He kisses me.
“What was the fingerprinting about tonight? Do they know anything?”
His face hardens. “I can’t talk about that with you. Right now, that’s club business. I’ll be able to tell you more tomorrow, but right now I just can’t.”
“Didn’t you just say no secrets?” Anger starts to flow through me at this stupid double standard.
“Yea, but you have to understand that club business doesn’t have a place in this relationship. It’s like that with every brother. You aren’t allowed to talk about it with your girl, ever.” His face is serious and I know that he won’t ever budge on this topic
“Whatever.” I push away from the wall and him. I get what he’s saying, but that doesn’t mean I need to agree with it. I grab some pajamas and go into the bathroom to change. When I come out Max isn’t there. My eyes scan the room and a pang of sadness hits me knowing that he left.
I switch off the lights and slip under the covers. Can I really be mad at him for not getting into the club stuff? I don’t know much about it, although I’m not sure that I want to. I hear the door open and Max walks in. I quickly shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep. It’s childish, I know that, but I don’t know how to deal with stuff like this. I don’t know how to function in a relationship. I feel like I’m so over my head in this whole thing.
The bed dips and Max pulls me to his side. His lips press against my forehead and I can’t help the smile that comes.
“Knew you weren’t asleep,” he whispers. “Good night.”
He squeezes me and all the anxious feelings I have seem to subside for the moment.
He takes it all away for me.
***
A beeping wakes me up and then I catch the scent of something that is mouthwatering. I stretch, not feeling Max next to me anymore. When I sit up I see him standing at the microwave with his back to me.
“Lie back down and close your eyes,” his voice demands.
I lower myself slowly and smile as I close my eyes. The smell gets stronger and my stomach growls.
“Wake up.” He gently shakes my shoulder, and I laugh because we both know I was already awake. When I open my eyes he is holding a plate with a few pancakes and some bacon.
“It’s the best I could do with a microwave.” He shrugs as if he’s expecting me to tell him that I’m too good for his breakfast.
I reach up and grab his neck, pulling him down to me and kissing him. “This is one of the nicest things anyone’s done for me.”
“That’s just ‘cause you can’t remember anything.”
I shove him. “Jerk. Are you gonna come eat with me?”
His hands are in his pockets and he shifts from one foot to the other nervously. “I don’t know about that.” I cock my head to the side, completely confused as to why. “I can’t get into bed with you right now. Every time I’m near you all I want to do is touch you. I want to kiss you, claim you, make you understand what it feels like to be mine. I can’t. You aren’t ready for that.” His eyes stay locked on me. “It’s getting hard for me to be good around you.”
