Page 45 of Broken
Chapter Twenty
Izzy
A knock at my door causes me to jump.
Twisted walks in. He seems nervous. His hands are in his pockets and he’s shifting back and forth as he looks at me. “So since you’ve been here we haven’t really had much time together. Would you maybe want to go grab a bite to eat and talk some?”
“Um, yea, sure. Just let me get dressed and stuff.” I look down at the pajamas I’m wearing.
“Right, I’ll be downstairs. Just come and find me when you’re ready.” He gives me a small smile before walking out of the room.
I stand up and grab some clothes out of my dresser. I’m excited to be spending time with him and getting to know him better. Maybe he’ll tell me something about my parents. My whole life I wondered what they were like.
My mind drifts back to Max yesterday. He was so mad at me, but I can understand why. I wanted something from him that I’m not willing to give myself. He gave me what I asked for, and I returned it with lies. Hearing him talk about Trent and what had happened made me hurt for him. I wanted to be there for him and take some of the pain away. I wasn’t ready to go into my issues, though, and that pushed him away.
I run the brush through my hair. I need to tell someone, soon. I wish that Max would stand by me, but there is no guarantee that he will. I know how these boys feel about rats, about people who betray them. They’ll throw me out on my ass and then Hades will kill me.
I might as well enjoy this life while I’m still allowed to be in it, while they all still want me here. I walk downstairs and see my brother sitting next to Nikki on one of the couches. “All ready,” I say as I reach them.
“Well, you two have fun.” Nikki stands up and walks over to a few of the other girls.
Twisted stands up and starts to walk toward the door. Once we’re outside, he heads over to Nikki’s black SUV. “Thought it’d be kinda weird to put you on the back of my bike, so Nikki said we could use her car.”
“Sounds good.” I smile over at him.
We drive to a nearby restaurant and he chooses a table on the patio. Aside from one other couple, we are the only ones out here. After the waitress takes our order, I look over at him and can’t help but laugh at how uncomfortable he is.
“So I’m sure you have questions for me. I’ll give you whatever answers I can.”
“Okay, I guess my first one would be what were my parents like?”
His face darkens. A part of me is sorry that I brought this up. “They were evil. I’m glad you had the opportunity to grow up without them. Jesse and I had enough on our plates protecting Lizzie. I don’t know how we would have kept both of you safe. I don’t want to get into details. It isn’t a story I share. Just know that you’re better off never knowing them.”
The finality of his tone makes me drop the subject.
“I talked to Jesse yesterday. He and Lizzie are planning on coming down next week sometime. They were as shocked as I was when I told them about you.” Twisted shakes his head. “I still can’t believe it myself. I remember one time my parents telling us that they had a baby but it died. Honestly with the way they were, a part of me thought they killed it.”
I gasp. Were they really that terrible?
“Torch found out something that might explain it a bit. Apparently, you came two months early. She had been doing a bunch of shit she shouldn’t when she was pregnant, which is no surprise. Lucy’s oldest was born early; it’s a lot of work and time spent at the hospital. Knowing those assholes they probably didn’t want to deal with it and so they gave you up. We’ll never know for sure, but I can almost guarantee that was their way of thinking.” His hand rubs the back of my neck.
“How did you find the club?” I ask just as the waitress is dropping off our food.
“I was a punk ass. Getting into trouble trying to make my way. Our previous president, Shooter, he found me and told me to stop by the club the next day. The second I walked through the doors I knew I had found a home.” A large table of people are seated a few feet away from us and I don’t miss the wary way they look at my brother. “People get scared when they see us. They watch some damn show or read their books and they think they know what we’re about. Like we are a bunch of asshole running around selling drugs and shooting anyone we feel like. Shit might not be sunshine and roses, but we take care of our family and each other. We are a unit and for the first time in my life I had found somewhere that I belonged.”
He is so sincere right now, and I can see why Nikki loves him. Underneath all the club stuff, and the facade you have to put on in front of everyone, he is really awesome. I wish I could tell him everything. Leave all my cards on the table and know that, in the end, he’d still stand by me. This conversation basically solidified that I can’t. The fact that I came to the club with the intention to betray them will be unforgivable to him. He’ll never look at me the same and I’ll lose the family I just found.
***
After spending the day with my brother I realize how much I could possibly lose at the end of all this. I find some of Lucy’s rum in the fridge and decide to drink my anxiety away. After four shots the empty bottle haunts me. I’m not numb yet. I want to drink until I can’t feel anymore. I want to drink so that I can pass out and sleep so heavy that my damn dreams don’t haunt me. There is a liquor store a couple blocks away, so I decide to walk since it’s still light out.
I don’t know if it’s my paranoia or what, but I feel like everyone around here has been watching me more than usual. I slip out one of the back doors and then through the unusually unmanned gate. Kicking the rocks under my feet, I think how easy it would be for me to just run right now. The club would be safe because I wouldn’t have given Hades any information. I would be free to exist without the devil looming over me. Max could patch in and move on with someone who deserves him. Everyone would be happier without the drama me being around causes.
I walk into the store, grabbing a couple bottles and giving the clerk cash.
Lost in my own thoughts, I don’t even hear him come up behind me until it’s too late. Hades spins me around, forcing me back against the brick wall behind me. I hit my head and wince from the pain. The brown bag with the bottles crashes to the floor and I hear them break.
“I haven’t heard from you,” Hades growls in my ear. To anyone driving by it probably looks like we are making out and not like I’m about to die. “Was I not clear the other day?”
