Page 24 of Kiss My Crown
“You wanna share with the group, Mel?” I tilt my head to the side.
“I slept with someone at the park! In the bushes!” Her hands cover her face. “He’s a fur character!”
We are quiet for a minute before we start to laugh.
“Oh my God! And you gave me shit for Justin?! What kind of animal is he?” I wiggle my eyebrows.
She shakes her head, and I know that it is going to be interesting.
“Come on, you know you’ll spill eventually.” Dani nudges her.
“He’s a…chipmunk.” Her hands immediately cover her face in shame.
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Dani and I burst out laughing. “A chipmunk? Babe, if you’re gonna stoop low and bang one of the fur balls you could have at least picked a manly one. A lion, a bear. Shit, even a monkey. You picked a goddamn chipmunk?”
“I know! I mean, at first it was a total mistake, but at this point, I think he might think we’re dating.” She bites her lip nervously.
“Wait. How many times have you banged the rodent?” Dani quirks an eyebrow at her.
“Five,” she mumbles.
“Oh, Lord. She’s fuck buddies with a woodland creature.” I shake my head. “Where’s your mom? I don’t know if she’ll be happier that you got laid, or more pissed that it was by a rodent.” I turn, but Mel grabs my arm.
“Don’t you dare. I’ll cut you.” She narrows her eyes at me.
“Jeez, just kidding, inmate. Put the shank away.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “When did we all get so screwed up?” I laugh.
“Hey, I’m perfectly normal,” Dani says, flipping her hair.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that as you inhale that demon dust every day.” The slow song ends and the music picks back up. “Well let’s go dance and forget about our ass backward lives for a little bit.”
The more I drink the wilder my uncoordinated moves seem to get. I drop it down low, get my eagle on while I’m down there, and even throw in a little twerking.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out.
Justin: So you burn my cucumber and then take your melons out of town.
Me: I’ve been drinking, so your produce humor isn’t working.
Justin: You know, usually people get happier when they drink.
Me: Yeah, well, maybe those people are getting laid too.
Justin: Not my fault you damaged the goods…
I laugh and slip my phone back into my purse. I really do like him. Problem is that I cannot have everyone at the park finding out about us. It would destroy the little standing I have left and maybe even push Ethan to demote me to a fairy.
I have to figure out a way to keep my two worlds separate, or I’m screwed.
I’m back at work today and couldn’t be less excited about it. Today I am on duty at a restaurant all day, with my Prince Not So Charming. We have to circulate all day and we are supposed to dance with each other every forty-five minutes. I would rather take pictures with a hundred horny fathers than do one of these days with Jeremy.
On the plus side, I’m inside, which means I have no chance of running into Justin and having people see us together. It’s been a few days since the incident and we have our next date tomorrow night. Aside from texting, I haven’t talked to or seen him since it happened.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Jeremy’s slimy voice sounds behind me.
“Aw, look, it’s Dreamland’s resident manwhore. You should be careful before that little thing falls off.” I smile at him before taking my place.
“Now announcing Prince Charming and Princess Lily.” The claps and cheers from all the kids and parents sound as we enter the restaurant. “Now, the prince and princess will be performing the royal waltz.”
