Page 25 of Kiss My Crown
I take Jeremy’s hand reluctantly and place my hand on his hip. The music starts to play and we slowly sway.
“You know maybe your dumb shoe would stay on if you washed your greasy feet,” he says through clenched teeth and a smile.
“Oh, yeah? Maybe you wouldn’t need such a big sword if you weren’t overcompensating for smaller equipment.” I smile sweetly at him.
He twirls me around. “Skank.”
I place my hands back on him. “Douchebag.”
He dips me back a bit. “Fairy.”
He’s dead.
The music stops and we release each other before heading off to separate tables.
I greet all the little girls, praying that the mothers wipe their hands before shipping their kids off to me. You will always have the ones that think they’re special too. That they can just walk up to you and initiate a meet and greet out of turn. That’s why we have people following us to be the assholes that we aren’t allowed to be.
Every time the music starts to play I groan internally. Jeremy keeps up with his insults, and I manage a jab or two in there. This job was so much easier when I actually liked him, which I still can’t believe that I did.
We are stuck in this groundhog-day hell for hours. Pretending we love each other, smiling at each other across the room, and the constant dancing. The girls here are eating it up, but little do they know that we would rather stab our own eyes out than to be anywhere near each other.
When it’s finally time to leave I couldn’t be happier. Walking out of the back entrance, I run smack into Tonya. Just great.
“Wow, I didn’t know you would be here. I heard that you were moving to the fairies.” She smirks at me and it takes every ounce of control I have not to slug her.
“Really? I heard you wouldn’t be in today because being a dirty slut can be really contagious.” I try to move past her, but she sidesteps so she is standing in front of me.
“Enjoy being on top now. You won’t be there for very long.”
I roll my eyes. “If there is anyone who knows about being on top or any other positions it would definitely be you. Although I heard you spend most of your time on your back.”
I push past her, throwing my shoulder into hers. The last thing I need to do is stand here trading insults with Hooker Barbie. I’m supposed to be on my best behavior, and if I want to avoid the Flying Floozies then I need to stay away from any drama.
I take a deep breath and plaster on the best smile I have in me. I walk through the park, my character bodyguard trailing me to make sure I don’t get stopped by a zillion people. On days like today when I’m scheduled for event after event I get a shadow. It’s easier because when parents and kids stop you they can wave them off and you get to seem so upset when really I don’t want to stop any more than she wants me to.
As I walk through the park I can see the effect my “reputation” is starting to have. Every prince and princess I walk by are turning their heads away from me. No one will look at me, not even the dust peddling idiots. The drastic change isn’t lost on me. Before when I was with Jeremy people were throwing themselves at my feet just to talk to me.
When I walk up to the meet and greet I see a huge line. I’m happy about it because it means even though the employees are all shunning me the people here still want to see me. On the other hand, that means that I have to meet and interact with all of these people.
I take my place inside and then the door opens. A few families make their way in, and I give them my best princess smile. “Hi there, princess.” I walk up to the little girl and take her hand, leading her to the middle of my area. She’s cute for a kid. I begin asking my normal set of questions. Is she having a good day, is she a princess or a queen, and then a few questions about what they are wearing or doing for the day. This kid, though, she isn’t giving me anything.
No. Words.
Every question I ask, she nods her head even if it isn’t a yes or no question. This is the most uncomfortable thing. The parents are staring at you, waiting for their kid to shine, and we are barely switching on the light. I ask the little girl to take a picture with me, and we turn toward her mom. Before she leaves she gives me the tightest hug and as bitchy as I am most days this makes me feel great.
Knowing that you are making other people happy, especially little girls, helps you deal with the bullshit that comes up daily.
Justin and I have a date tonight. It will be the first time I have seen him since the dick volcano incident. I’ve been purposefully avoiding him at work. I had Mel find me the pirate show times so I could make sure our paths don’t cross. The last thing I need is to be seen cuddled up with him, or for him to notice that I don’t want to be seen with him.
“So, you going to take it easy and give the EMTs a break tonight?” Dani is standing in my doorway.
“Shut up. He was the first guy I’ve ever sent to the hospital.”
“You say that like it’s an accomplishment. You know, most normal women can go their whole lives without sending someone to the hospital.” She plops on my bed and a part of me wants to push her off of it.
“Screw you.” I flip her off as I’m finishing my makeup.
“Um, no thanks. I like my lady bits unharmed.” Her hands are held up in surrender.
